Supersonic/Electronic Weapon 不特定多数による長期にわたる原因不明の嫌がらせ（６）

2011/12/01 (Thu) Slept from 1:30-6:30 (5 hrs). Three big fits of my legs a little after I set to sleep. My sense tells me that they, as other fits I report almost everyday, are caused by from an outside source, not by my brain. Natural fits accompany some sensation in your brain, but they do not. Weak funny feelings for a short time when doing the dishes.

I have been sleeping without the pot for several days partly because the last time I used it, I got a biggest, electrocuting shock and fit of my brain and partly because the electrocuting shocks have stopped since I started sleeping upside down, with my head placed where I usually place my feet.

Working and studying at the fast-food shop at the station has become my habit on days when I do not have classes. I’ve been there on Tuesday, Wednesday, and today.

Most people do not harass me anymore, at least in the restaurant. Probably because I starting to forget about harassments, when harassed, even when the harassment is a minor one, I get shocked. A little before 18:00 today, a high school girl who had been in the corner two tables away from mine moved her leg closer to me in a semicircle exactly when I found one question difficult and started thinking about it seriously. Maybe I am too sensitive and just imagining things, but the timing and the way she moved her leg are a combination that has been performed to me uncountable times over the past five years or so, especially on trains and in class, usually with vicious smiles till recently. I looked into her face and in a couple of second cold eyes met with mine. I felt sick and left the place.

About an hour before that, a male who had been sitting quietly next to me loudly stood up and left apparently indignant when I had finished solving questions of an English reading passage and found them all wrong and tried to make sure if I was referring to correct answers. The male’s behavior might have had nothing to do with my actions, but this combination, me finding my answers wrong and people around me showing some strange and often nasty behaviors such as coughing loudly, or looking into my eyes with vicious smils, or sticking their legs with their feet rolling, has been familiar, too. I have had this mainly on the train for at least 8 years. By the way, the passage was about influence of noises (IELYS 7, Test 4 Reading Passage 3). I’m doing this test textbook because I bought this for my private class one and a half years ago, but did not use, the student having changed the country where she was going to study, and because I find it a good textbook.

I have also become nervous about prying toward me or actions that look like it, about which I think I was rather indifferent before this experience of mass harassment. For example, I got nervous when someone looked at the plastic bag I was carrying this evening. The action reminded me of the behavior that also started around 8 years ago and gradually died down over the past few years, the behavior of looking into my everyday purchase, often sneering or staring and/or saying something critical or at least seemed to be related to my purchase, in supermarkets or in streets.

I think I can forget this experience if there is no one who reminds me of it.