One paragrahp essay, What I do to stay healthy

☆Writing topic

People do many different things to stay healthy. What do you do for good health? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

☆Sample one-paragraph essay

I try to stay calm and pleasant to stay healthy because mental health is part of physical health. For example, a nice person can enjoy good relationships, which makes the person’s life happier and healthier. It seems that, for some reason, people who easily become upset or spiteful often suffer from bad habits like addictions or abuses that are bad for the health. In fact, statistics show that people who have good relationships live longer than those who do not. Also, we often hear that laughing strengthens our immune system. It is true that we cannot eliminate cancer cells by laughing, but we can avoid some minor physical problems that could develop cancer cells by staying mentally fit. Although the saying goes “A sound mind in a sound body,” it can be said that it is at least partly vice versa.

 

☆Sample Analysis

【Main Idea】I try to stay calm and pleasant to stay healthy 【Explanation】because mental health is part of physical health. 【Detail / Example】 For example, a nice person can enjoy good relationships, which makes the person’s life happier and healthier. 【More Specific Detail(s)/ Example(s)】It seems that, for some reason, people who easily become upset or spiteful often suffer from bad habits like addictions or abuses that are bad for the health. In fact, statistics show that people who have good relationships live longer than those who do not. Also, we often hear that laughing strengthens our immune system.【Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】It is true that we cannot eliminate cancer cells by laughing, but we can avoid some minor physical problems that could develop cancer cells by staying mentally fit. 【Conclusion】Although the saying goes “A sound mind in a sound body,” it can be said that it is at least partly vice versa.

 

 

☆Ideas and expressions

eat well   try not to overeat   eat nutritious food   avoid sugary/salty/oily food

eat a lot of vegetables and fresh fruit   eat fish and chicken instead of red meat  

 

do exercise   work out   jog   go jogging   go walking   go to the gym   go swimming  

walk up stairs instead of taking the elevator  

 

keep regular hours   keep early hours

 

stay away from things bad for the/your health    try not to smoke/drink much

 

watch sanitary conditions   wash hands with soap   gargle

 

☆Your one paragraph essay

【Main Idea】

 

 

【Explanation】

 

 

 

【Detail / Example】

 

 

 

【More Specific Detail(s)/ Example(s)】

 

 

 

 

【Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】

 

 

 

【Conclusion】

 

 

 

TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, Main reasons for going to college -partly rewritten-

☆Writing Topic

There are many different reasons to attend a college or university. What do you think are some of the main reasons so many people are interested in attending college or university? Include specific reasons and details in your response.

☆Let’s think

The first sentence of the writing topic says that people go to college for “many different reasons.” It is probably true. Some might go to a higher school so that they can study the subject they are really interested in, while others might go to college just because they feel it is better for them to do so although they are not so sure why, and still others may intend to make friends with as many interesting people as possible during their college years.

The question requires you to name some of the MAIN reasons why people think of going to college. Minor reasons such as personal reasons cannot be included in your points.

☆Ideas and expressions

WHY GO TO UNIVERSITY

Taken from http://www.upforitclub.org.uk/whataboutuniversity/whatwherewhyhow/whygotouniversity/

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☆One-paragraph essay = the framework of the full essay

Now let’s write a one-paragraph essay before writing a full essay. You could use each sentence as the main idea (topic sentence) of each paragraph of your full essay.

Sample one-paragraph essay:

【Main Idea】 I think people think of going to college to become a better adult, for academic pursuit, and for their future careers.

【Reason 1】Spending another four years at school is attractive for many people who feel that they need some more years to be ready for adult life.

【Reason 2】 Pure interest in the subject may well be another reason.

【Reason 3】 People go to college to get a good job.

【Conclusion】Many people are interested in going to college because they want to become a well-rounded, intelligent person equipped with college diploma.

Your one-paragraph essay:

【Main Idea】

【Reason 1】

【Reason 2】

【Reason 3】

【Conclusion】

☆Paragraph development

A paragraph of the body of an essay often develops its main idea as follows:

【Main Idea】People go to college to get a good job.

【Explanation】They think having a college degree is an advantage when you look for a job.

【Detail / Example】 Most high-paying, challenging jobs require at least a Bachelor’s degree.

【More Specific Detail / Example】It is especially true when it comes to a regular job or a managerial job. Getting one without going to college is very difficult in today’s job market.

【Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】It is true that interpersonal skills count more than academic background in employment, but the latter is easier to prove than the former because it takes a form of a document.

【Conclusion】 It is natural to think that it is safe to get a college degree before becoming independent and start work.

☑Let’s deal with counterarguments

A counterargument is a bonus-point icon in an essay writing game. If you venture to take it up and deal with it successfully, your essay will jump up to the upper level and you will be awarded with a good score. On the other hand, if you fail to be aware of an inevitable counterargument, your essay will become vulnerable to the attack on it. Your raters may regard the neglected counterargument as a flaw in logic. Think of the debate for which you had not prepared carefully. Although you do not have to demonstrate how smart you are, as TOFFL essay writing is an English test, you may well show that you can think and write objectively in English.

             

Your test paragraph development

Now let’s practice paragraph development. Choose one of the reasons you have come up with, make it the main idea, and develop it using the following form. As this is a tentative part of your real essay, use simple words and sentences and focus on the logic and ideas.

【Main Idea】

【Explanation】

【Detail / Example】

【More Specific Detail / Example】

【Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】

【Conclusion】

TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, Most important change to remember in the 20 century -partly rewritten-

Writing Topic

There were many changes in the twentieth century. What do you think is the one change in the twentieth century that is most important to remember? Include specific reasons to justify your choice.

☆Let’s think

The questions of the same type as today’s topic are as follows:

♦What invention in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country?

♦What discovery in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. (Note: The difference between discovery and invention is that you discover something that has existed all the time but you did not know it was there till then, while you invent something that did not exist before. For example, Newton discovered gravity while Bell invented a telephone.)

Neither of the superlatives in these questions, most important and most beneficial, has the article “the.” This means that you do not have to decide the most important change in the 20^th century. There are some most important changes that happened in the last century, and you are supposed to pick up one of them and explain why it has the highest level of importance.

It is rather easy to think of the answer for this type of question. For today’s question, you can easily come up with changes like the development of the information technology. Probably the difficult part is to explain why, but remember, the hints are in the questions. In this case, the hints are the words “change” and “most important.” They are related to great moments in history: the story of before and after the change/invention/discovery. What is expected in your essay is probably the description of how great the impact of something was, in other words, in what way and how much it has changed society and/or the environment.

Also, let’s not forget the superlative, “most important to remember.” It requires you to show why you think the change you have chosen is more important to remember compared to other changes. The changes should have been dramatic and unprecedented. They should have turned the world upside down or profoundly changed our perceptions or thoughts. Use these kinds of expressions and give specific examples to prove it. For example, the advent of the Internet has caused an irreversible change; it has become the infrastructure of our life, making the world dependent on it.

☆Hints for points

♦The rapid development of technology

Technological breakthroughs had happened before, but it was in the 20th century that the rapid development of technology happened and the lives of people changed dramatically. Nowadays, thanks to convenient electronic appliances, people can have more extra time than they did one hundred years ago and use it to do things other than daily chores. The development of technology enabled people to enjoy creative activities, the most sophisticated activities of humankind, which was possible only for the few privileged people before. The changes were good for the most part, but since they happened in a short time, people did not have time to adapt to it or consider the influence of it. As a result, the people in the 20th century left some negative assets to coming generations, such as pollution, global warming, threat of uncontrolled nuclear power, new types of crimes and so on. The first three are especially unprecedented in that they could wipe out mankind.

♦The invention and prevalence of the computer and the Internet

For the first time in history, people’s lives depend on machines now, and this happened in the 20th century as a result of the invention and spread of the computer. Also, no other technology has changed our lives in such a large scale than the Internet.

♦The influence of the airplane

The rapid development of commercial airplanes in the 20th century might be compared to the domestication of horses. It has made the world smaller and dramatically changed people’s lives. It has enabled people to visit other countries for study, on business, or on vacation easily and at low cost. Also, trade has become quicker because of faster distribution using planes.

♦The invention of TV

The invention of TV has given people a new source of information and a new tool of entertainment. TV has made it possible for people to learn through moving pictures with sound what is happening in remote areas or in places they cannot usually go into. People started watching news shows instead of reading newspapers or listening to the radio. TV-watching became a new entertainment. People started sharing more information than before. At the same time, TV made it easier for governments and corporations to control people’s thoughts.

♦The shift of hegemony

The two world wars ended imperialism of the old world. People learned it hard way that peaceful coexistence is basic to the prosperity of humankind. Although international relationships do not always follow this idea, efforts are made to compromise and cooperate and no nation can invade and occupy another country without criticism anymore. At the same time, America has become the most powerful country in the world. Replacing England after WWI, it has played the leading role in politics, business, and culture. Its military bases, trading posts, and pop culture cover all over the world now. China gained power at the end of the century, but still its GDP is second to that of the US and its military power is one-tenth of that of the US.

                                                                                                                           

♦Globalization

The development of transportation and communication allowed corporations do business worldwide. They can now build their branches and factories in other countries, import cheap materials from other countries, and sell their products anywhere on this planet. As a result, people all over the world use the same kind of things in their lives, and share more information than before. At the same time, it is inevitable that languages and cultures of minorities are lost in this change.

☆Let’s make a point

Before writing your essay, let’s write about the points you are going to make by answering the following two questions.

Question 1  What is different before and after the change?

Sample response:

I think the advent of the Internet is most important to remember in the last 100 years.

Before the Internet, the information was something that was provided by authorities in limited amounts.

However, now thanks to the Internet, most information on this planet has become available to anyone. Also, it has become possible for anyone to provide information to the public quite easily.

Your response:

I think … is most important to remember in the last 100 years.

Before …,

However, now thanks to …,

Question 2  What makes the change more important than other changes?

Sample response

The change brought by the Internet is most important to remember in that it has become the infrastructure of the world.

OR

Its impact on our society was so great that no one in our society now live absolutely independent from the Internet.

Your short response:

The change brought by … is most important to remember in that…

OR

Its impact on our society was so great that …

☆Essay for ideas and expressions

Barron’s Writing for the TOEFL iBT, p. 338

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TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, A research center for business or agricultureA -partly rewritten-

Writing Topic

Imagine a university is planning to build a new research center in your country, but it has not been decided whether to create a center for business research or agricultural (faming) research. Which of the two sorts of research centers would you prefer to be built in your country?

 

☆Ideas and Expressions

♦Business

1.    Japan has been one of the biggest economies in the world for a long time mainly due to our strong competitiveness in products. In other words, we have not been good at sales and marketing very much. Now that many manufacturers of other countries outshine ours, it is about time for us to learn more seriously about business. Market research on specific demands of each country, for instance, will help diversify our exports and stabilize export earnings.

 

2.    With enough wealth and technology to help reduce the damage of global warming and environmental destruction, developed countries are expected to shift to a sustainable economy or environmentally friendly economy. To restructure our economy, we need to do more research on related areas such as evaluation of eco-friendly technology businesses.

 

3.    The low food self-sufficiency (40%) is not necessarily dangerous in this global economy. Countries import food from each other. Also, Japan has already been heavily industrialized and adding just another agricultural research center cannot change its economic structure. Moreover, the level of our agricultural research is very high. People come from all over the world to learn from our agriculture and we send experts to countries suffering from food shortage to help develop their farming.

 

♦Agriculture

1.    Japanese agriculture is at crises in general. The age-old problems of Japanese agriculture are very little farmland (90% of the land is mountains and forests), decreasing numbers of farmers and farmhouses, aging, and weakening functions of farming societies caused by industrialization especially after WWII. In addition, traditional sustainable agriculture has been destroyed by the introduction of factory style farming, or single crop farming. Now that restrictions on agribusiness have been lifted and if we join Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP), which will slash or abolish tariffs on agricultural products, this trend is certain to be accelerated. Whether we like it or not, we are required to transform our agriculture into one which prioritizes production of export crops, crops that have enough demands in the global market. Research and development on Japanese crops and potential markets for them, both domestic and international, should be put forth an effort for right now.

 

2.    Research on our low self-sufficiency (40 %) is necessary. The self-sufficiency of our staple food, rice, is 100% while most of the feed grains for meat production such as wheat and corn are imported. Since these crops will be in great demand for bio-fuel, research on more self-sufficient protein production is necessary. In addition, the decreasing number of farmhouses is causing concern about food shortage in case of emergency. It is true that the problem of low self-sufficiency is the problem of business―deflation is making people give up farming―and politics―prioritizing business and globalization over agriculture and tradition, but approaches to improve the situation by those who are directly involved in farming would be effective and innovative.

 

3.    We have not eliminated hunger-related deaths in poor countries, yet. Also, population increase, global warming, and pollution can cause food crises in the near future. Developed countries are required to make more contribution to research on food security such as irrigation, plants more resistant to climate change, or genetically modified crops. Japan can live up to this expectation by continuing to offer our high-level agricultural techniques and technologies. For example, plant factory, which was invented and developed in Japan, can produce edible plants without soil all through the year. We can not only sell their produce but also export the factories and their software. Also, biomass-energy, an alternative energy resource receiving particular attention, is our specialty.

 

☆Essay for ideas and expressions

Just a few years ago, the terms green or fair trade meant nothing more than opportunities for corporate image improvement to most huge corporations and never meant calls for total restructuring of the economic system, or more precisely so they pretended to interpret them. They had succeeded in propaganda to make people believe that all things were going all right. However, climate change has started biting and corruption in business has become blatant, even the people in developed countries are now having difficulty in making ends meet, and the mass protests across the globe do not go unnoticed anymore. Studies for new economic systems on both international and domestic levels are essential to earnestly tackle fundamental problems of our times. Therefore, I would prefer a new business research center to be built if a university is planning to build a new research center in my country, Japan.

 

Researches on alternative economic systems are crucial. It is now clear that capitalism or free market system is harmful to everyone including those who have enjoyed its benefits. It has exploited the resources and people in the third world. It has widened the gap between the rich and the poor both internationally and domestically. Especially in the USA, the leading capitalist country, the gap reached the 1 to 99 ratio. It has also destroyed the environment, whose deterioration now threatens all life on earth. Ideas for more natural and humane economic activities, which ordinary people as well as conscientious intellectuals have conceived probably since the onset of industrialization, should be crystallized. One of the examples of such effort is a system called employee ownership or democratization of corporations. Democratized companies will reflect public consensus and make more sensible decisions. They might encourage governments to promote real fair trade: fair transactions not just between companies but between countries. They would certainly stop outsourcing, which is good for domestic workers. Also, they may well support sustainable economy, which is good for the environment. Public awareness on the environmental issues is quite high. For instance, 70 % of US citizens now support green energy.

 

In the torrent of economic globalization, Japan is at the crossroads. Joining Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) will lead it to totally American type economy, which has just proved to be a failure in terms of the welfare of all people. Obviously the disadvantaged, who are already suffering enough, will suffer more. Also, even if Japan survives as a country, taking advantage of its position as a developed country, the problem of morality will remain, for free trade works at the expense of the weaker. It is inevitable for us to put more pressure on poor people in developing countries. Moreover, it has become clear that the corruption of the domestic economic system has already passed the point of meltdown. The misconduct in relation to the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant symbolizes that Japan has not been so much a protective economy as it has been believed. Japanese people were made to accept nuclear power plants through sophisticated advertisements of Japanese mass media backed up by the US energy industry and US and Japanese governments. The industry neglected design upgrade despite repeated warnings. After the disaster, the electric company and the government did not disclose crucial information, and the government did not take enough measures to protect the residents in the area, and probably the whole population in the eastern part of Japan. The irresponsible economic leaders teaming up with political leaders could make the last 50 years of Japanese prosperity, where most people, rich or poor, enjoyed fundamental human rights and basic happiness of life, just a transient good moment of its history.

 

It might be true that competition promotes evolution of technology and systems, but the current system does not have a safety net strong enough to protect those who have lost in competition and those who are disadvantaged from the beginning. Governments are manipulated by lobbyists from large corporations, so that channeling money to rescue the weak gets harder and harder. Also, the stock market, a world-scale casino for the rich, does not have a structure to give it decency to clean up its own mess. When crises occur, public money is used to make up for the loss and the return is not sufficient when those rescued start gaining profits again―unemployment rates won’t go down much despite record profits of those US companies bailed out in the recent financial meltdown, for instance. This system keeps siphoning large amounts of money from the poor to the rich.

 

Suggestions on plans for rapid and less painful shift to the new economic system are what university should make now to build a society that protects dignity and better human nature and that protects the environment.