TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, Improving facilities or hiring high-quality professors? -partly rewritten-

Writing Topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. It is more worthwhile for a university to spend money on improving facilities than on hiring high-quality professors.

☆Let’s Think

This question is made up of a comparison. It compares the importance of facilities and professors for a university. Both of them are important for a university. With excellent facilities like beautiful buildings and sophisticated machines and equipment, students can make the most of the tough years of their academic life. On the other hand, professors are some of the best, or at least most interesting, minds students would meet in their whole lives. They are the top level researchers and teachers: human beings with amazing brains, often unforgettable personalities, and the same feelings as those of anyone else. Which is more worthwhile to invest in for a university?

Let’s think about the relation between facilities and faculty (professors) by analogy. Professors can be to facilities what the software is to the hardware of a system. Good software performs exquisitely even the hardware looks miserable as long as its speculations are above some level, while even the high-end hardware would be a piece of junk if the software is not good. Without good equipment, professors cannot perform well, but abundant information that the sophisticated machines can provide is useless without a person who knows how to utilize technology and how to interpret information they produce. The main purpose of a university is research and education. Then, good professors are more important for a university than anything else. Here is another often-used analogy: a top-class chef can prepare a good dish with only an ordinary pan and some leftover in the refrigerator.

On the other hand, a university as an entity to make profits needs a different perspective in investment. They need to attract as many students, their customers, as possible. They need to have features that attract most people. Students whose sole purpose is academic pursuit would choose a university with famous professors in the field of their interest, but you see only a few people like that. University facilities include those mainly for students such as dormitories, gyms, and so on. Good facilities can attract larger percentage of the young, especially those who go to university mainly to enjoy the last page of their adolescence. Students who live away from home might take good dormitory facilities into consideration in choosing a university that they should attend. Students who enjoy sports would choose the university with good facilities for sports. Then updating facilities would lead to banknotes.

☆Paragraph development

A paragraph of the body of an essay often develops its main idea as follows:

【Main Idea】 (主張)

【Explanation】 (主張の説明)

【Detail / Example in general】 (一般的な例)

【More Specific Detail / Example】 (より具体的な例)

【Conclusion】 (結論)

♦Your test paragraph development

Now let’s practice paragraph development. Choose one of the reasons you have come up with, make it the main idea, and develop it using the following form. As this is a tentative part of your real essay, use simple words and sentences for supporting details and focus on the logic and ideas.

【Main Idea】 (主張)

【Explanation】 (主張の説明)

【Detail / Example in general】 (一般的な例)

【More Specific Detail / Example】 (より具体的な例)

【Conclusion】 (結論)

♦Essay-writing procedure

Let’s review the procedure that could help you finish writing the full essay before the time is up, meeting the minimum 300-word requirement. One good point of this procedure is that with this you can avoid forgetting or missing time to write the conclusion.

1.    Read the writing topic carefully.

2.    Brainstorm, typing down the would-be points for the essay.

《The image of typing down the would-be points for the essay》

@@&!*&

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#`*&%#@&%

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3.    Put the points in order. (They will make the topic sentences of the paragraphs of the body.)

《The image of putting the points in order》

【Point 1】#`*&%#@&%

【Point 2】@@&!*&

【Point 3】$$$$$BB

4.    Write the topic sentences of the conclusion and introduction paragraphs.

For example.

1)    Write the conclusion topic sentence

【Point 1】#`*&%#@&%

【Point 2】@@&!*&

【Point 3】$$$$$BB

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Because of #...and @,,,, it can be concluded that facility is more important than the faculty for today’s university.

2)    Write the introduction topic sentence

【Introduction = Outline】I think it is more worthwhile for a university to spend money on improving facilities than on hiring high-quality professors because of # and @.

【Point 1】#`*&%#@&%

【Point 2】@@&!*&

【Point 3】$$$$$BB

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Because of #... and @,,,, it can be concluded that facility is more important than the faculty for today’s university.

5.    Develop body paragraphs.

The image of developing the first point (The first paragraph of the body).

【Introduction = Outline】I think it is more worthwhile for a university to spend money on improving facilities than on hiring high-quality professors because of # and @.

【Point 1】#`*&%#@&%. This means that #`****&###```&%%%%. For example, □△○. This is especially true in the case of □*△*○ because …. It cannot be denied that ■▲● happens, but in reality, □◎◎. Therefore, it can be said that #`*✿&%#@&%□☉✿.

【Point 2】@@&!*&

【Point 3】$$$$$BB

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Because of #... and @,,,, it can be concluded that facility is more important than the faculty for today’s university.

6.    Develop conclusion and introduction paragraphs.

7.    Go over the whole essay, focusing on one thing such as a grammatical mistake you often make.

Note: You do not have to follow this procedure when you take the test. This procedure might be useful for a writing topic that is somewhat rather difficult to deal with. Also, you do not always have to stick to the basic essay and paragraph structures. The important thing to remember is to make the points clear before telling their details and to deal with the expected counterargument in an appropriate part of the essay..

TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, Early childhood education -partly rewritten-

Writing Topic

There are people who think that children should start school or kindergarten when they are still very young and should learn early in life to work hard at their studies. Others feel that young children should be more free and should spend a lot of time playing and enjoying themselves. Discuss these opinions. Which idea do you share?

 

☆Let’s Think

The topic requires you to discuss both opinions about early childhood education. Will there be any difference and if so what kind of difference will there be between people who received early academic training and those who did not? It might not so difficult to imagine the results in general despite the differences in related factors such as innate ability of the individual and the environment like the family and community, but.

 

In Japan, children start kindergarten at the age of 5 and school at the age of 7. This means that early childhood education starts around the age of 3 at the earliest. Studies show that most of a person’s neurons are formed between ages 0 through 6. Apart from the genetic factor, the environment you are in during these early years will decide what brain you will have, in other words, what kind of person you will be. Therefore, it is clear that how people spend time in their early childhood affects their lives.

 

There seem to be many factors to consider. What should children acquire during these years? What is the purpose of early childhood education? What does it teach children? What is given as education might be only a small part of a child’s learning, while it could be an essential initiation or kick start for an individual to do well in today’s society. What about the child’s feelings and human rights?

 

☆Let’s answer these questions to prepare for the discussion.

1.    What should people experience and learn when they are children?

 

 

2.    What is the purpose of early childhood education?

 

 

3.    What does it teach children?

 

 

4.    What is given as education might be only a small part of a child’s learning, while it could be an essential initiation or kick start for an individual to do well in today’s society. What do you think?

 

 

5.    What about the child’s feelings and human rights?

 

 

 

☆Let’s discuss each idea of the writing topic.

♦I like the first opinion because …

1.    I received early childhood education and thanks to it I was able to make a head start. Learning was easy and fun to me while many of other children who started school later had difficulty in learning ABCs and hated sitting in class. The earlier the start, the better you learn.

 

2.    Except for geniuses, who will teach themselves sooner or later, human beings are animals of habit. If you are not disciplined to work hard, you will be lazy all in your life.

 

3.    In modern society, where traditional communities are gone, children need school as substitute for community. At school, they can interact with adults and other children and learn things that children in the past learned from people in their community such as folk songs, old jokes, games, and other things that will be their lifelong asset.

 

♦I like the second opinion because …

1.    Although I received early childhood education and now I go to a prestigious high school, I have never appreciated this. I have always had a feeling of loss. I miss my lost childhood. I wanted to play more. I was always envious of other children playing in the park when I had to go to a cram school. I always feel that I lack something important as a human being because of this experience.

 

2.    I doubt whether the best environment in which a child to prepare for the years to come is kindergarten and school because they are artificial. The world, nature and society, is complex and dynamic. Children should be exposed to it so that they can learn it directly. They should touch the earth, catch insects, or interact with many kinds of people.

 

3.    Children should play as much as possible because play is their work. The free time they had will give them power to work hard in later years.

 

 

 

 

 

♦Essay-writing procedure

Here is a procedure that could help you finish writing the full essay before the time is up, meeting the minimum 300-word requirement.

 

1.    Read the writing topic carefully.

 

2.    Brainstorm, typing down the would-be points for the essay.

 

《The image of typing down the would-be points for the essay》

@@&!*&

$$$$

#`*&%#@&%

$BB

 

3.    Put the points in order. (They will make the topic sentences of the paragraphs of the body.)

 

《The image of putting the points in order》

【Point 1】#`*&%#@&%

【Point 2】@@&!*&

【Point 3】$$$$$BB

 

4.    Write the topic sentences of the conclusion and introduction paragraphs.

For example.

1)    Write the conclusion topic sentence

 

【Point 1】#`*&%#@&%

【Point 2】@@&!*&

【Point 3】$$$$$BB

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Because of #...and @,,,, it can be concluded that children should be more free.

2)    Write the introduction topic sentence

 

【Introduction = Outline】I agree with the idea that children should be more free because of # and @.

【Point 1】#`*&%#@&%

【Point 2】@@&!*&

【Point 3】$$$$$BB

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Because of #... and @,,,, it can be concluded that children should be more free.

 

5.    Develop body paragraphs.

6.    Develop conclusion and introduction paragraphs.

7.    Go over the whole essay, focusing on one thing such as a grammatical mistake you often make.

 

 

 

☆For reference: English essay structure, paragraph development form, and tips on how to meet the minimum 300-word requirement

 

Note: You do not always have to stick to the following structure and form. The important thing to remember is to make the points clear before telling their details and to deal with the expected counterargument in an appropriate part of the essay..

 

♦The basic English essay structure is as follows:

【Introduction = Outline】

【Reason 1】

【Reason 2】

【Reason 3 / Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

♦Paragraph development

A paragraph of the body of an essay often develops its main idea as follows:

【Main Idea】 (主張)

【Explanation】 (主張の説明)

【Detail / Example in general】 (一般的な例)

【More Specific Detail / Example】 (より具体的な例)

【Conclusion】 (結論)

 

 

♦How to increase the volume of your essay (For those who did not participate in lesson 8)

Writing more than 300 words is the requirement for the essay in the independent writing section to be considered satisfactory. When you are almost done but know that you have not met this requirement, you might try to add another point. However, it is actually rather difficult to come up with one more point after having brainstormed once. On the other hand, completing the logic and details will increase the volume of your essay as well as making it flawless. Here are some tips for increasing the volume of your essay:

 

First, find the shortest paragraph and …

1) describe/develop the main idea well: If a paragraph has only one or two sentences, chances are that you have not described/developed well enough. Make sure that each paragraph has its main idea, supporting details (examples), conclusion, and additional supporting details like counter-argument treatment if necessary.

 

2) describe/develop each sentence well: A statement usually has some exception or needs some condition or concession. Look for a sentence that you can add a reason, condition, concession, or any other additional information, and add “because …”, “except …”, “as long as …”, “although …”.

 

3) describe words well: Which of the following sentences gives a clear picture of someone’s pet?    A) I have a pet.   B) I have a cute cat.   C) I have a little fluffy kitten. With two adjectives and a specific noun, Sentence C) depicts an adorable pet well and it happens to be the longest of the three. Also, use transitions such as First, Also, Moreover, Therefore when necessary.

 

4) discuss other choices: Even if the Writing Topic does not say, “Discuss the two views” or “Compare and contrast the choices,” you can write about other choices. Doing so will make your essay more convincing and longer. Make sure that you do not digress.

 

5) take up counter-arguments if necessary: While you are writing, sometimes a counter-argument, “Well, but what about this case?” comes up to your mind. Then it is better not to ignore it but take it up and give a counter-counter-argument or two. By doing so, you can confirm your argument. If you can do it well, you will get a high score.

 

The key to remember is to try to put what you want to say into words as accurately as you can. Then you cannot help adding some more words and sentences, and some more... In the end, your essay will have many words.