TOEFL iBT、Independent Writing, Technology can bring us more leisure time.

Writing Topic

Consider the following statement. Technology can bring us more leisure time. Do you agree or disagree with this idea? Support your response including specific reasons and examples.

☆Preparation

Questionnaire

	Question 1 Check technologies that you think can increase leisure time.	Question 2 Why do you think so?	Question 3 Check technologies that you think can derease leisure time.	Question 4 Why do you think so?
Your Response	☐washing machine ☐bread maker ☐computer ☐smartphone ☐train/car ☐plane ☐industrial robot ☐assembly line ☐irrigation others (                    )		☐washing machine ☐bread maker ☐computer ☐smartphone ☐train/car ☐plane ☐industrial robot ☐assembly line ☐irrigation others (                    )
Classmate A’s Response	☐washing machine ☐bread maker ☐computer ☐smartphone ☐train/car ☐plane ☐industrial robot ☐assembly line ☐irrigation others (                    )		☐washing machine ☐bread maker ☐computer ☐smartphone ☐train/car ☐plane ☐industrial robot ☐assembly line ☐irrigation others (                    )
Classmate B’s Response	☐washing machine ☐bread maker ☐computer ☐smartphone ☐train ☐car ☐plane ☐industrial robot ☐assembly line ☐irrigation others (                    )		☐washing machine ☐bread maker ☐computer ☐smartphone ☐train ☐car ☐plane ☐industrial robot ☐assembly line ☐irrigation others (                    )
Classmate C’s Response	☐washing machine ☐bread maker ☐computer ☐smartphone ☐train/car ☐plane ☐industrial robot ☐assembly line ☐irrigation others (                    )		☐washing machine ☐bread maker ☐computer ☐smartphone ☐train/car ☐plane ☐industrial robot ☐assembly line ☐irrigation others (                    )

☆Let’s Think

(1) Let’s compare the following two sentences. What is the difference between their meanings?

1) Technology has brought us more leisure time.

2) Technology can bring us more leisure time.

☆Hints for Points

Agree

Technology has already freed us from most manual labor It is possible for it to increase leisure time.

技術はすでにほとんどの肉体労働から人を開放している。技術が余暇を増やすことは可能だ。

Disagree

No matter how developed technology people may have, they use it to work more. Thus, technology has no power to increase our free time.

どんなに発達した技術があろうがそれを使ってもっと働く。従って技術は自由時間を増やす力がない。

                                                     

☆Sample Essay Structure

A

【Introduction = Outline】Although it is not always the case in reality, it can be said that technology can increase our leisure time.

【Point 1】Electronic appliances shorten the time we spend on household work.

【Point 2】Advanced means of transportation provides possibility for leisure activities.

【Counterargument-treatment】Some claim that technology can even cause less leisure time citing such cases as developed transportation network makes it possible for students to go to cram schools after school and smart phones make it easier to contact a worker who is off-duty. However, the problem is not in the technology itself but in the society or our values. Even a microwave oven can be the cause of less leisure time for a devoted homemaker who diligently pursues better cooking whenever possible.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】It is society that keeps us busy. It is possible for technology to help us make spare time if we intend to do it.

【導入＝概要】実際には必ずしも当てはまらないが技術は余暇を増やすことができると言える。

【要点1】電化製品は家事に費やす時間を短縮する。

【要点2】進んだ交通手段は余暇活動の可能性を提供する。

【反論処理】発達した交通網により学生が放課後塾に行くのが可能になったりスマホにより非番の労働者と連絡を取ることが容易になるといった例を挙げて技術により余暇は減少する可能性さえあると主張する人もいる。しかし問題は技術自体にあるのではなく社会あるいは私たちの価値観にある。電子レンジでさえできるときはいつでもより良い料理を勤勉に追及する熱心な主婦にとって余暇の減少を引き起こす。

【結論＝まとめ】忙しくさせるのは社会だ。その気になれば技術の助けで余分な時間を作ることは可能だ。

B

【Main Idea=Outline】There has been talks that robots will do all our jobs and humans will be free from daily routines, but it seems that the future has not been realized yet. Technology has the potential to bring us more free time but I think that most people feel that they have seen better days.

【Everyday Life】Technology can allow us to finish work much earlier than before in many cases, but we are doing more activities in the same amount of time as before.

【Business】Robots are replacing humans in many areas of business, and there is a concern about job loss in many areas. However, in other areas technological innovation expands areas of its application and increases workload and working hours.

【Historical Evidence】Most workers seem to have less leisure time than before, especially after the IT revolution. Businesses have come to operate 24 hours year round. Also, in some industries like distributors, humans are failing to keep up with the rate of the transaction done by machines.

【Conclusion=Wrap-up】Technology can bring us more leisure time but it has not and will not. It raises productivity, brings some people unwelcome leisure time, and makes the rest work harder.

【主張＝概略】ロボットが私たちの仕事をすべてしてくれ人間は日々の決まり切った仕事から解放されるという話があるがその未来は今のところ実現していないようだ。技術は私たちにより多くのを暇もたらす潜在的可能性は有するが前の方が良かったと思っている人がほとんどだと思う。

【日常】多くの場合技術によって以前より仕事を早く終えることは可能だが、私たちは以前と同じ時間内により多くの活動をしている。

【仕事】仕事の多くの分野でロボットが人間にとって代わりつつあり特定の分野では失業の心配がある。しかし他の分野では技術革新により応用範囲が広がり仕事量と仕事時間が増える。

【歴史的証拠】特にIT革命以降以前より余暇が少ない労働者がほとんどのように思える。会社は年中24時間業務を行うようになった。また流通のように機械による取引の速さに人間がついてゆけなくなりつつある業種がある。

【結論＝まとめ】技術はより多くの余暇をもたらすことは可能だがまだもたらしていないしもたらさないだろう。生産性を上げ、望まぬ暇な時間をいくらかの人にもたらし、そして残りの者はもっと一生懸命働かされる。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Main Idea=Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion=Wrap-up】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】Advanced means of transportation provides possibility for leisure activities.

【Explanation】 Technology enables us to arrive at the destination faster than before and leaves time for other activities.

【Example】 For example, the public transportation allows people to move around town more quickly and get their business done a few hours earlier than they do without it.

【More Specific Example】This especially benefits frail people. If an old person who has difficulty in walking needs to go to a hospital, he or she can take a bus or train to get there, come back by the time it gets dark, and rest or enjoy chatting with friends for a while in the coffee shop near the station before they do the grocery shopping and go home. In the old times, visiting a doctor must have been the only event for the day for those who are physically disadvantaged.

【follow-up】It is true that in many cases, shortening transition time does not mean more leisure time as few people in modern society seem to enjoy plenty of spare time. However, this is because it is difficult for most of us to learn to be leisurely. Being assigned or self-assigning more tasks in proportion to the increase of spare time makes it seem that we still cannot go home early.

【Wrap-up】Potential effect of the development of transportation on the increase of leisure time cannot be denied.

【主張】進歩した交通手段は余暇活動の可能性を提供する。

【説明】技術により以前より速く目的地に着くことが可能になり他の活動のための時間が残る。

【具体例】例えば公共交通機関はそれがない場合よりも素早く街を動き回り数時間早く仕事を早く終わらせることを可能にする。

【より具体的な例】これは特に体が弱い人にとって有益だ。歩くのが困難なお年寄りが病院に行く必要がある場合、電車かバスに乗ってそこに行き、暗くなるまでに帰ってきて駅近くの喫茶店でしばらく休むか友達とおしゃべりを楽しんでから買い物をして帰ることができる。昔は体の不自由な人にとって病院に行くのはその日の唯一の出来事だったに違いない。

【補足】確かに現代社会のほとんどの人が十分な余暇を楽しんでいるようには思えないので、多くの場合移動時間が短くなったからと言って余暇が増えるということにはならない。しかしこれは私たちのほとんどがのんびりすることを習得するのが困難だからだ。余暇の増加に比例してより多くの課題を割り当てられたり自分で作ったりすることにより未だに早く家に帰れないように思えるのだ。

【まとめ】交通機関の発展の余暇の増加に対する潜在的影響は否定できない。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Main Idea】

【Explanation】

【Detail / Example】

【More Specific Detail / Example】

【Follow-up】

【Wrap-up】

TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, Do you think it is a good idea or a bad idea for high school students to have part-time jobs in addition to their studies? - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Do you think it is a good idea or a bad idea for high school students to have part-time jobs in addition to their studies? Explain your opinion on this question offering specific reasons and examples.

☆Let’s think

This question has a condition at the end, “in addition to their studies”. This excludes the case of working at the expense of studies. The question takes it for granted that students’ main job is studying, and asks if it is a good thing to work for money in their free time.

Survey

Questions	Your Response	Classmate A’s Response	Classmate B’s Response
What are the merits of high school students having a part-time job?
What are the demerits of high school students having a part-time job?
Are there any opposing ideas against the ideas above?

☆Hints for points

Advantages

By working part-time, you can ...

1.    learn what it is like to work for money.

2.    see what it is like to work in society.

3.    learn to work as part of a team.

4.    meet many kinds of people.

5.    have an opportunity to think about your future .

Counter-argument Treatment

1.    You can work after graduation or during your college years. ⇔ Without any knowledge of the real world, it is difficult to have a clear picture of your future, and the range of your future career choice is decided when you graduate or decide which department of a university you will apply for.

卒業後か大学在学中に働ける。⇔実社会の知識がないと将来の明確な展望を持つのは難しいし、卒業時もしくは志望大学の学部選択時に将来の職業選択範囲は限られてしまう。

2.    Even though it is part-time, a job is a job. Being a student might not often be an excuse to do it half way for the sake of, say, midterm exam. ⇔ Time management can be another skill that working part-time might help students (to) acquire.

アルバイトでも仕事は仕事だ。学生であることは例えば中間テストのために中途半端な仕事をする言い訳にはあまりならないかもしれない。⇔ 時間管理は学生が獲得するのを助けるかもしれないもう一つの技術に成り得る。

Disadvantages

Having a part-time job will …

1.    deprive you of time for other things that you can go through only when you are in high school such as extracurricular club activities, conventions for high school students, volunteering, and making friends with the students of your high school.

2.    make you fail to juggle work and studies.

3.    lead you to fall behind the competition in this academic-background-oriented society.

Counter-argument Treatment 反論処理

1.    Working for money, especially doing some manual labor, is one of the important experiences that a high school student should have to decide what they want to do after graduation. ⇔ Experiencing part-time jobs is not necessary in deciding your future career. You can tell what it is like to do manual labor through daily chores. Moreover, career option depends on other factors such as aptitude and interest.

お金のために働くこと、特に肉体労働は卒業後したいことを決めるために高校生がすべき重要な経験のひとつだ。⇔ 将来の職業を決める時にアルバイトの経験は不要だ。肉体労働がどのようなものかは日々の雑務を通して分かる。更に、進路選択は適性や興味のような他の要因による。

2.    High school students are half adults. Staying away from the real world will make them out of touch. ⇔ With media reports and power of imagination, students can know about the real world.

高校生は半分大人だ。実社会から離れていると現実離れしてしまう。⇔ マスコミの報道と想像力で学生は実社会について知り得る

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Main Idea=Outline】 I think it is a good idea for high school students to work part-time as part of their experience to grow up mentally and to learn about society.

【Reason 1】 Working for money as a member of a team with many kinds of people will make them emotionally mature and help them acquire work ethic.

【Reason 2】 In addition, they can see how society is ticking by actually participating in it.

【Counter-argument Treatment】It is true that students can interact with society by doing other activities outside of school such as volunteering, but working part-time effectively facilitates to have real experience of working as a wage-earner at the bottom of a hierarchy and to become a sympathetic adult.

【Conclusion=Wrap-up】Part-time job is an experience that a high school student should have to be a good citizen.

【主張＝概略】精神的に成長し社会について学ぶために経験の一部として高校生がアルバイトをするのは良いことだと思う。

【理由 1】いろいろな人とチームの一員としてお金のために働くと情緒面で成長し労働倫理を獲得する。

【理由 2】加えて、実際に参加することによって実際の社会の仕組みが分かる。

【反論処理】確かにボランティア活動のような学外活動をすることによって社会と交流することはできるが、アルバイトは階層社会の底辺で賃金労働者として働く実体験をし、情の深い大人になるのを効果的に助ける。

【結論＝まとめ】アルバイトは良い市民になるために高校生がするべき経験だ。                   

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Main Idea=Outline】

【Reason 1】

【Reason 2】

【Counter-argument Treatment】

【Conclusion=Wrap-up】

☆Sample Counterargument Treatment

【Counterargument】There might be an opinion that extracurricular activities such as volunteering are in place for social interaction and that part-time job is unnecessary for their education.

【Confirmation of your idea】However, working part-time effectively facilitates students to become sympathetic adults through real experience of working as a wage-earner at the bottom of the hierarchy.

【Detail】Social activities that school promotes are done by students staying in the status as a high school student and this makes it hard to acquire a different perspective. Volunteering students are regarded as good children and appreciated for doing some job. On the other hand, part-timers are often looked down upon and ill-treated in doing their jobs.

【Example】For example, a popular part-time job, waiting, is not free from harassment, and they may learn that people tend to be hard on those who are in the weaker position. The person with the experience will feel sympathy with waiters and waitresses and cannot be obnoxious to those in those kinds of trade in the future.

【Wrap-up】Doing a part-time job is necessary to promote students’ personal growth, and it should be done during high school years, when they are most sensitive.

【反論】ボランティア活動の様な課外活動が社会との交流用にあるのでアルバイトは教育に不要だという意見があるかもしれない。

【自説の確認】しかしアルバイトは階層社会の底辺で賃金労働者として働く実体験を通して情の深い大人になるのを効果的に助ける。

【詳細】学校が促進する社会活動は高校生としての身分にとどまっている学生によってなされ、このために異なった視点を獲得しにくくなる。ボランティアをする学生は良い子たちだとみなされ仕事をしたことで感謝される。一方アルバイトはしばしば見下され仕事をする時に酷い目にあわされる。

【例】例えば、人気のあるアルバイトである給仕は嫌がらせがなくはなく、人は弱い立場の者に厳しい傾向があるということを学ぶかもしれない。その経験のある人はウェイターやウェイトレスと気持ちを同じくし、将来その種の職業の人に嫌な感じにすることはできない。

【まとめ】アルバイトは人間的成長を促すために必要だ。そして学生たちが最も感受性が強い高校時代になされるべきだ。

Your Sample Paragraph Development

【Counterargument】

【Confirmation of your idea】

【Detail / Example】

【Wrap-up】