TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, There is no benefit in keeping animals in zoos.

Writing Topic A: Do you agree with the following opinion? There is no benefit in keeping animals in zoos. Give specific reasons to support your answer.

 

☆Let’s think

The statement has the word “no” and there are few things that can be described with no because there are usually some exceptions. If there is some benefit in keeping animals in zoos, it is impossible to say there is no benefit in it. Hence you disagree with the statement. To agree with the statement, it is necessary not only to point out drawbacks but also disprove what proponents name as benefits in keeping animals in zoos to be precise.

 

☆Hints for points

 

Disagree

1.    Zoos have educational benefits.

Children can learn about life and the importance of protecting nature.

 

2.    Zoos contribute to preservation.

Some endangered species are kept and bread successfully in zoos.

 

3.    Today’s zoos provide better environment to animals than before..

Cages are larger and cleaner than before. Some zoos are natural parks where animals freely move around.

 

Conclusion: There are some benefits in keeping animals in zoos.

 

Agree:

1.    It is cruel to keep animals in zoos.

The place is unnatural, unclean, and stressful. No matter how much improvement has been made, artificial environment is no match for the natural environment.

 

2.    The educational value of zoos is doubtful.

They look and act differently from those in the wild.

There are books and videos to learn about animals and for the hands-on experience of real animals we have domestic animals such as rabbits, turtles, and parrots that most schools keep.

 

3.    The contribution of zoos to conservation is pointless. Rather than trying to artificially revive endangered species, reviving the environment of their original habitat is the way to go.

 

 

 

☆Essay Structure

♦Sample Essay Structures in the case that you have two or three reasons to support your argument

 

Sample 1

【Introduction = Outline】　主張と理由の概要

I disagree with the statement that there is no benefit in keeping animals in zoos.

【Point 1】理由1の詳細

Zoos entertain many people.

【Point 2】理由2の詳細

Zoos contribute to preservation.

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】理由3の詳細または反論の処理

It is true that there are points that makes it questionable to keep animals in zoos. Keeping animals in unnatural environments is ethically wrong and actually many animals suffer from diseases and stress, but as long as there are people who actually enjoy themselves visiting there, it is impossible to say that there is no benefit in the existence of zoos.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】結論

Although I myself cannot enjoy seeing confined animals anymore, I cannot totally agree with the notion that zoos are good for nothing as I have no intention of rejecting some people’s fascination to zoos.

 

Sample 2

【Introduction = Outline】　主張と理由の概要

I totally agree with the statement that there is no benefit in keeping animals in zoos.

【Point 1】理由1の詳細

It is cruel to keep animals in zoos.

【Point 2】理由2の詳細

The educational value of zoos is doubtful.

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】理由3の詳細または反論の処理

It is true that some zoos have successfully preserved some endangered species, but the project is rather pointless because the original environment of those animals have been lost or changed. Sending them back to nature will either fail or cause other problems.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】結論

Zoos are no better than freak shows that violate animal rights. Therefore, humans should evolve to have no zoos in the future. True animal lovers are to go into the wild themselves, not the other way (a)round.

 

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

 

【Point 1】

 

 

【Point 2】

 

 

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

 

 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

 

 

 

 

Writing topic B: Many high schools in various countries make their students wear uniforms on campus, but there are other high schools which allow their students to wear whatever clothes they like within certain limits. Using specific examples and reasons, discuss these policies. Which do you think is the better policy?

 

☆Let’s think

There are two tasks assigned to you in this writing topic. One is discussing the two policies on high school dress codes and the other is deciding which is the better policy.

☆Hints for points

Uniform policy

.

1.    To have students wear uniform is to control students.

School intends to have less trouble by making students wear uniforms.

e.g.

 

2.    Uniforms make it clear that school is the place for study.

It sends students a massage that they should be focused on study, not in fashion.

e.g.

 

3.    Uniforms help equal treatment.

It is fair for students with financial difficulties. They do not have to feel afraid of being treated unfairly because of their appearances.

   e.g.

 

 

Non-uniform policy

1.    The policy to allow students to wear any clothes with certain limitations shows that the school expects students to have some autonomy.

Students will learn to be responsible for fundamental aspects in their lives.

e.g.

 

2.    Assigning clothing choice will help students become socialized.

By being responsible for what they wear, high school students can learn to dress themselves according to purposes and occasions.

e.g.

 

3.    No uniform policy can make high school life more enjoyable and memorable.

Clothing is an important element for communication and joy of life.

e.g.

 

 

♦Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】Although it is at the discretion of the school to decide its dress codes, I would rather high schools to respect their students’ humanity.

【Point 1】Having students wear uniform is to control students.

【Point 2】A The policy to allow students to wear any clothes with certain limitations shows that the school expects students to have some autonomy.

【Point 3】

Uniform is the reminder of responsibility of having a certain occupations or being in a certain social status. Putting high school students in school uniforms is treating them as children who still need to be watched.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

No uniform policy seems better to me because I think high school students should be treated as adults in fundamental aspects of life.

 

 

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

 

【Point 1】

 

 

【Point 2】

 

 

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

 

 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

 

☆Paragraph development

A paragraph of the body of an essay often develops its main idea as follows:

【Main Idea】Having students wear uniform is to control students.

【Explanation】School intends to have less trouble by making students wear uniforms.

【Detail / Example】 For example, uniforms put pressures on behaviors.

【More Specific Detail / Example】The assumption is that students will less likely end up in places where they are not supposed to be or be involved in unacceptable activities when they are in uniforms although on weekends students go out in their daily clothes and still they are the students of the school they belong to.

【Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】 It cannot be denied that there are some good effects of uniforms such as promoting a simple lifestyle or nurturing a sense of belonging to the school, but the negative influence of feeling the school authority imposed on them in the form of uniform is too strong to ignore.

【Conclusion】The policy will limit the development of students’ personality by explicitly showing that they are watched and controlled.

 

 

Your test paragraph development

Now let’s practice paragraph development. Choose one of the reasons you have come up with, make it the main idea, and develop it using the following form. As this is a tentative part of your real essay, use simple words and sentences for supporting details and focus on the logic and ideas.

 

【Main Idea】

 

 

【Explanation】

 

 

 

【Detail / Example in general】

 

 

 

【More Specific Detail / Example】

 

 

 

 

【Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, Generally speaking, people are living longer now than they did in previous centuries. What impact do you think this change will have on society? / The 21th century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? / What do you think is the one change in the twentieth century that is most important to remember? -partly rewritten-

Writing Topic A:  Generally speaking, people are living longer now than they did in previous centuries. What impact do you think this change will have on society?

 

☆Hints for points

1.    older but healthy and more experienced work force

(1)  younger generation staying school longer

(2)  later retirement ages

(3)  volunteers in many areas (day-care centers, research facilities, etc.)

 

2.    older consumers

(1)     less consumption (in case of weak pension system, etc.)

(2)     new products and services (therapeutic robots, counselors for the elderly, mobile stores and cleaners, etc.)

(3)     different city planning (barrier-free designs, more accessible hospitals, etc.)

 

3.    more problems related to aging society

(1)  more expenditure on social security system (health care, pension, etc.)

(2)  more demand for social workers, care givers, medical personnel

(3)  tax burden on workers

(4)  more people from overseas

 

 

 

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

Since mainly those in developed countries are living to an old age in larger numbers and getting old is an anathema in the modern society, all kinds of changes related to anti-aging, including something ugly, can happen.

【Point 1】

Anti-aging industry will thrive more.

【Point 2】

The average life expectancy gap between the rich and the poor will be wider.

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

Traditional cultures value old age, but it is quite possible that globalization can wipe them out.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Fear towards aging and death in developed countries might change industries and demography on the whole planet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

 

【Point 1】

 

 

【Point 2】

 

 

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

 

 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

 

 

Writing Topic B: The 21th century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring?

 

☆Hints for points

1.    The rise of Asian countries

1)    Asian population will account half of the world population around 2050

2)    rapid economic growth rate

3)    influential culture (food, fashion, films and animation, etc.)

 

2.    Century of cooperation or destruction

1)    globalization, global warming, and the gap between the rich and the poor

♦global warming combined with population growth causing food and water shortage in poor countries

♦big businesses becoming richer and middle class disappearing)

--- off-shoring (outsourcing factories and businesses to countries with cheaper labor forces and less regulations) and hollowing out (communities losing businesses and rising unemployment rates)

♦financial meltdown --- Wall Street buying politicians, who will pass or repeal laws weakening financial restrictions while paying no tax by means of using tax haven

 

2)    disarmament vs. proliferation of nuclear weapons

♦military industrial complex getting jobs at the front of the war stricken countries like Iraq and Afghanistan,

♦countries that are not allowed to have nuclear weapons (ie. North Korea and Israel) having them

♦information and material (uranium and plutonium) to make nuclear arms being available through the net and these countries to terrorists

 

3)    tensions between religious groups: mainly between Christians and Muslims

♦US diplomacy of waging wars against Muslim countries and helping Israel, which keeps invading Pakistan,

♦US military having increasing number of Evangelicans

 

 

 

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

 

【Point 1】

 

 

【Point 2】

 

 

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

 

 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

 

 

Extra Writing Topic: There were many changes in the twentieth century. What do you think is the one change in the twentieth century that is most important to remember? Include specific reasons to justify your choice.

 

☆Let’s think

The questions of the same type as today’s topic are as follows:

1.    What invention in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country?

2.    What discovery in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. (Note: The difference between discovery and invention is that you discover something that has existed all the time but you did not know it was there till then, while you invent something that did not exist before. For example, Newton discovered gravity while Bell invented a telephone.)

 

Neither of the superlatives in these questions, most important and most beneficial, has the article “the.” This means that you do not have to decide the most important change in the 20^th century. There are some most important changes that happened in the last century, and you are supposed to pick up one of them and explain why it has the highest level of importance.

 

It is rather easy to think of the answer for this type of question. For today’s question, you can easily come up with changes like the development of the information technology. Probably the difficult part is to explain why, but remember, the hints are in the questions. In this case, the hints are the words “change” and “most important.” They are related to great moments in history: the story of before and after the change/invention/discovery. What is expected in your essay is probably the description of how great the impact of something was, in other words, in what way and how much it has changed society and/or the environment.

 

Also, let’s not forget the superlative, “most important to remember.” It requires you to show why you think the change you have chosen is more important to remember compared to other changes. The changes should have been dramatic and unprecedented. They should have turned the world upside down or profoundly changed our perceptions or thoughts. Use these kinds of expressions and give specific examples to prove it. For example, the advent of the Internet has caused an irreversible change; it has become the infrastructure of our life, making the world dependent on it.

 

☆Hints for points

1.    The rapid development of technology

Technological breakthroughs had happened before, but it was in the 20th century that the rapid development of technology happened and the lives of people changed dramatically. Nowadays, thanks to convenient electronic appliances, people can have more extra time than they did one hundred years ago and use it to do things other than daily chores. The development of technology enabled people to enjoy creative activities, the most sophisticated activities of humankind, which were possible only for the few privileged people before. The changes were good for the most part, but since it happened in a short time, people did not have enough time to adapt to it or consider the influence of it. As a result, the people in the 20th century left some negative assets to coming generations, such as pollution, global warming, threat of nuclear arms, and new types of crimes.

 

2.    The invention and prevalence of the computer and the Internet

For the first time in history, people’s lives depend on machines now, and this happened in the 20th century as a result of the invention and spread of the computer. Also, no other technology has changed our lives in such a large scale than the Internet.

 

3.    The influence of the airplane

The rapid development of commercial airplanes in the 20th century might be compared to the domestication of horses. It has made the world smaller and dramatically changed people’s lives. It has enabled people to visit other countries for study, on business, or on vacation easily and at low cost.

 

4.    The invention of TV

The invention of TV has given people a new source of information and a new tool of entertainment. TV has made it possible for people to learn with sound and moving pictures what is happening in remote areas or in places they usually cannot go in. People started watching news shows instead of reading newspapers or listening to the radio. TV-watching became a new entertainment that did not exist before. People started sharing more information than before. At the same time, TV made it easier for governments and corporations to control people’s thoughts.

 

5.    The end of imperialism

Through two world wars, people learned it hard way that imperialism does nothing but harm to the human race and that peaceful coexistence is basic to the prosperity of humankind. Although international relationships do not always follow this idea, efforts are made to compromise and cooperate and no nation can invade and occupy another country without criticism anymore.

 

6.    Globalization

The development of transportation and communication allowed corporations do business worldwide. They can now build their branches and factories in other countries, import cheap materials from other countries, and sell their products anywhere on this planet. As a result, people all over the world use the same kind of things in their lives, and share more information than before. At the same time, it is inevitable that languages and cultures of minorities are lost in this change.

 

☆Let’s make a point

Before writing your essay, let’s write about the points you are going to make by answering the following two questions.

 

Question 1  What is different before and after the change?

Sample response:

I think the advent of the Internet is most important to remember in the last 100 years.

In the old days, the Internet, the information was something that was provided by authorities in limited amounts.

However, these days, most information on this planet has become available to anyone. Also, it has become possible for anyone to provide information to the public quite easily.

 

Your response:

I think … is most important to remember in the last 100 years.

In the old days, …,

 

 

However, these days …,

 

 

Question 2  What makes the change more important than other changes?

Sample response

The change brought by the Internet is most important to remember in that it has become the infrastructure of the world.

OR

Its impact on our society was so great that no one in our society now live absolutely independent from the Internet.

 

Your short response:

The change brought by … is most important to remember in that…

 

OR

Its impact on our society was so great that …

 

 

 

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

 

【Point 1】

 

 

【Point 2】

 

 

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

 

 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】