TOEFL iBT Writing A form of transportation that will be more common in the future (Revised)

What form of transportation do you believe will be more common in the future?

 

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1.        What environmental and social challenges will happen in the future?

2.        What form of transportation are getting popular lately? What are the advantages of using them?

 

 

☆Hints for Points

Environmental and social challenges

・Climate crisis caused by global warming.

・Air, water, and soil pollution will be exacerbated.

・World population will increase.

・Due to climate change and some other factors like economic issues, populations in cities will increase.

 

Means of transportation that are getting popular lately and their good points

・Autonomous vehicles are increasing as societies age and shrink.

・Cars allow privacy and freedom.

・Trains and buses are less harmful to the environment than cars because they can carry many more people than cars.

・EVs don’t use fossil fuels directly although the electricity is mainly from thermal power planets.

・Planes allow us to travel overseas.

・Bicycles will prevail as awareness of the possible power failure caused by disasters rise.

 

 

☆Sample Responses

Sample 1 

【Thesis】I share my view with Ryan especially in terms of how society will cope with environmental challenges caused by climate crisis and pollution.  

【Supporting Details】Trains are much more efficient than cars. Trains allow efficient transportation than cars. Also, even though they run on electricity, which is produced mainly by power plants that emit greenhouse gases, they don’t pollute the air like combustion engine cars do. Electric buses and coaches will be adopted more for the same advantage. They also fit aging society for the obvious reason.

【Counterargument-treatment】I don’t think that the convenience and comfort of cars will be missed when environmental destruction and population growth stress the lives of the future generations even harder than now. They will have no choice but to resort to technologies that are friendliest to the ecosystems.

【Conclusion】Thus, public transportation will be used more in the future. (144 words)

 

Sample 2

【Thesis】I am convinced that cars that run with fossil fuels will still be popular in the future because vested interests of the oil industry will keep dominating society.

【Supporting Details】Social structure won’t change much. The movement of environmental protection started half a century ago. Talks about global warming started about 30 years ago. Little has actually been achieved. Although some goals like raising awareness and making related laws were met, extinction has been exponentially increasing and average temperature has been highest every year over the past several years. Despite extensive government support for decades, EV diffusion rate is around 20%.Even when technologies friendly to the ecosystems, there is little will to use it.

【Counterargument-treatment】EVs run on electricity, which is produced mainly by burning fossil fuels. Alternative energy sources that are said to be environmentally friendly actually use fossil fuels and emit greenhouse gasses in their making and running. The green industry and the movement are one big lie.

【Conclusion】Unless governments take up a new value and plans based on a value totally different now, value of compassion, neither society nor its transportation systems will change. (188 words)

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DRAFT

 

 

                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                      

TOEFL iBT Writing Is it often better to have as much information as possible? (Revised)

 Is it often better to have as much information as possible?

 

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1.        In what cases do you need as much information as possible?

e.g. Choosing a school to attend

 

2.        Would you like to know the private life of idol such as your favorite artist, musician, actor, writer, or athlete or would you like to leave such information untouched?

 

 

☆Hints for Points

Yes

1.     Two heads are better than one: It leads to better results to have as much information as possible.  e.g. group activities

 

2.     Having as many information sources as possible helps make a good decision.

e.g. fact-check tools other than Google search such as books in libraries

 

3.     The more detailed information there is, the better perception of the world you can have.   e.g. higher resolution

 

4.     Abundant information contributes to creativity.  e.g. the American culture

 

5.     Information disclosure helps society progress.  e.g. Patent information disclosure benefits society and helps other inventors improve the invention. The government information disclosure enables citizens to protect democracy.

 

6.     Times of lack of information were dark eras of human history. e.g. the medieval eras in the European history and the periods of national isolation in the Japanese history

 

7.     Lack of information is dangerous.  e.g. mainstream media as a mouthpiece of the government, which provide little truth about the government and the situations

 

No

1.     As the saying goes, “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” Sometimes, it becomes difficult to do a task when there is a large amount of information. e.g. Textbook contents vary according to the grade. Teachers decide the amount of the study supplement according to the levels and characteristics of the students. It seems that information should be limited at some stage of life. For example, a child may be confused with many pieces of contradicting information without ability to process information well. In case of language acquisition, it is said that the number of languages a child can learn at the same time to be a real multilingual is limited, around 5 or 6. After the time period, it might be better for children to focus on the acquisition of their mother tongue for their brain development. 

 

2.     It is said that ignorance is bliss and that curiosity killed a cat. It is often better to leave something unrevealed. Trying to know more than you are supposed to could put you in trouble. e.g. white lie, Pandora’s box, Less is more, etc.

 

3.     There are many kinds of information that are controlled for security, privacy, or education. 

 

4.     There are things that you may not want to know.

 

☆Sample Responses

Sample 1 

【Thesis】It is better to have as much information as possible.

【Supporting Details】Lack of information causes trouble. It leads to confusion and fear in catastrophes, for instance. It also causes prejudice. You might have heard someone say, “I had thought such and such people were stupid and mean, but after I made friends with Mary, who was intelligent and very kind, my image of the people has changed.” Here the problem is not only the discrimination the person inflicted on the people targeted by the person but also good communication and relationships the person had missed having with the members of the group that Mary belongs to before the person met Mary. Stereotype is the child of lack of information, and its children are ignorance, discrimination, bullying, conflicts and wars. In politics, shortage of information will destroy democracy, or vice versa. On the other hand, Abundant information makes us wiser and happier. To understand a piece of news better, you read more than one newspaper. Before making an expensive purchase, most people try to collect as many catalogs as possible and read as many reviews as they can. Today’s computer graphics have many more digits, much more amount of information, than those in the past, and thus they are clearer and more real than before. The difference is evident if today’s computer graphics are compared with those in the 1980’s like Pack-Man or Mario Brothers. Plenty of information brings better recognition and confidence.

【Counterargument-treatment】It is sometimes difficult to make a decision when there is more information than can be processed, but the problem is in the processing process, such as absence of prioritization or determination.

【Conclusion】Excessive amount of information is not a problem in itself but a luxury, which is inherently a boon as long as dealt with wisely. (297 words)

 

Sample 2

【Thesis】Too much information may not be helpful in terms of building our world view.

【Supporting Details】My elementary school teacher told the class that we would be confused if we had extra eyes on the back side of our heads. Indeed, if we were able to see everything around us, overload of information to process would make us at a loss of how we move such as choosing a way we should take. Another example that makes me think that perhaps lack of certain information is necessary is the blind spot birds have. Although birds have a wide view, as we say a bird’s-eye-view, they have a blind spot, a narrow area in the back of their head. This spot is obviously a weak spot, but it could also be a necessary anatomy in a bird’s life. It not only tells the bird which side is its back but also helps birds help each other. Because of the existence of this weak spot, birds perching side by side cover each other, by facing the opposite directions to each other. I guess most of us would rather be imperfect birds helping each other than a god with one hundred eyes.

【Counterargument-treatment】In general, the more information you have, the better recognition you have, and the problem of confusion caused by abundant information can be avoided by general knowledge such as checking the news source and shunning disinformation. Still, it would be beyond our capacity and disagree with our nature to have as much information as possible. In fact, there are things that you had better not know. A photograph shows all the visual information of a scene, and this is perfect as visual evidence. However, an artist deletes some information of the same scene to show what he sees in the scene. A picture is more real without all the information. A dancer’s face does not have a line in a painting, when, in fact, it does. Although we know the photograph is more accurate, we see the truth in a picture.

【Conclusion】Increase of information can sometimes be a curse. (346 words)

 

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DRAFT