Pre-TOEFL Writing What do you think are the best ways of reducing stress? (Revised)

Writing topic

People have different ways of escaping stress and difficulties of modern life. Some read; some exercise; others work in their gardens. What do you think are the best ways of reducing stress? Use specific details and examples in your answer.

現代生活のストレスや困難を避ける様々な方法があります。読書をする人もいれば運動する人もいるし、庭仕事をする人もいます。ストレスを減らす最も良い方法は何だと思いますか。答えの中で具体的な詳細と例を使ってください。

 

 

☆Let’s Think 考えてみよう

The expression “the best ways” in the topic is in the plural form, so you are supposed to name more than one best way. To come up with ideas, thinking about what causes stress may help.

トピックの”the best ways”という表現は複数形なので、最善の方法を二つ以上挙げるものと思われている。ストレスの原因を考えるとアイディアを思いつく役に立つかもしれない。

 

 

☆Hints for Points 要点のヒント

1.     to do what you like  e.g. play games, talk with your friends, play sports, etc.

好きなことをする。 例 ゲームをする、友達と話す、スポーツをする等

2.     to avoid stressful events/people   e.g. not to procrastinate, to take a detour, try not to bear unduly, etc.

ストレスのかかる出来事や人を避ける。 例 先延ばしにしない、遠回りする、不当に我慢しないようにする等

3.     to build good relationships with/get along well with others  e.g. to be polite and considerate, etc.

他人と良い関係を築く・うまくやる。 例 礼儀正しくする、思いやりをもつ等

4.     not to worry about small matters  e.g. to learn Buddhism, forgive or get even with bullies, laugh etc.

小さなことを気にしない。例 仏教を学ぶ、いじめをする人は許すかやり返す、笑う等

5.     to stay healthy   e.g. sleep well, avoid unhealthy foods, work out regularly, etc.

健康を保つ。 例 よく睡眠をとる、不健康な食べ物を避ける、定期的に運動する等

 

 

☆Sample Essay Structures エッセイ構成例

Sample 1  例１

【Introduction = Outline】Each person has his or her own ways of escaping stress because stressors differ from person to person. I make it a rule to exercise prudence and listen to music for the purpose.

【Point 1】Prudence helps avoid getting yourself involved in stressful event.  e.g. putting yourself in someone’s shoes

【Point 2】My favorite kind of music makes me relaxed.

【Counterargument-treatment】I sometimes eat sweets to feel good, but the effect wears off in a short time.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Learning what causes stress and trying to cope with the problem may be practical.

【導入＝概要】ストレス要因は人それぞれ違うのでストレスを避ける方法はその人自身の方法がある。個人的には、その目的のために思慮深くして音楽を聴くようにしている。

【要点1】思慮深くするとストレスのかかる出来事に関わるのを避ける助けとなる。 例 人の身になって考える

【要点2】お気に入りの種類の音楽でリラックスする。

【反論処理】気分良くなるために甘いものを時々食べるが効果は短時間で弱まる。

【結論】ストレスの原因を学びその問題に対処しようと努めることが実際的かもしれない。

 

Note: 「ストレスを解消する」release stress, relieve stress, blow off steam

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

☆Sample Paragraph Development 段落展開例

Sample 1

【Main Idea】Prudence helps avoid getting yourself involved in stressful events.

【Supporting Details】Many stressful events are actually backfires you get because of your careless actions. For example, you may not want to point out a mistake of a short-tempered person who happens to be in a bad mood, because doing it will make the person explode, and you will get stressed out. The same can be said to anyone, who has feelings and can be offended more or less if you are not attentive. Even though not many people are spiteful, what goes around comes around, and you may well pay the price in the form of stress in the end.

【Wrap-up】By being thoughtful, you can be free from stress in many cases.

【主張】思慮深くするとストレスのかかる出来事に関わるのを避ける助けとなる。

【詳細】多くのストレスのかかる出来事は実は自らの不注意な行動のゆえに受ける反撃なのだ。例えばたまたま虫の居所の悪い短気な人の失敗を指摘したいとは思わないだろう。そうすればその人はきっと爆発して自分にストレスがかかるから。同じことが誰にでも言える。人には感情があり注意していなければ多かれ少なかれ気を悪くする。執念深い人は多くはないが因果応報で最終的にはストレスの形で自分が代償を支払う可能性は十分にある。

【まとめ】思慮深くすることによって多くの場合ストレスをなくすことができる。

 

Sample 2  例２

【Main Idea】I relax by listening to my favorite kind of music.

【Supporting Details】Music takes me to a different world away from tough reality. While listening to the songs I like, I forget stressful things. This makes my mind lighter. I think that the physical aspect of music, the sound wave, has the power to relax us, too. I will not be surprised if there is a study showing that a certain kind of sound waves slows heart rate and lowers blood pressure.

【Wrap-up】Music eases our body and mind.

【主張】お気に入りの種類の音楽を聴くことによってリラックスする。

【詳細】音楽はきつい現実から違う世界に連れて行ってくれる。好きな曲を聴いている間ストレスのかかることを忘れる。これにより心が軽くなる。音楽の物理的な面である音波もリラックスさせる力があると思う。もしある種の音波が心拍をゆっくりさせ血圧を下げるということを示す研究があっても驚かないだろう。

【まとめ】音楽は心身を楽にする。

 

 

 

TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion How would you use a large tract of land for development? (Revised)

What do you think is the best way to develop a substantial plot of land which the government of your community has the freedom to develop in any manner it sees fit, considering the current needs of society and how different types of development could impact the society?

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1.     Which of the following three responses to the question above do you think is the least proper? Why?

A)      I would sell it to buy whatever I want.

B)      I would build an amusement park on the land.

C)      I would make it a farm for the survival of the residents in climate crisis.

 

Note: Response A) is not a way to develop land, nor does it consider the current needs of society and the impact on it. Response B) is a way to develop land but may not be among the most needed by society, especially when there already are many amusement parks. C) meets the need of society for obvious reasons. This question is about utilizing land, which provides space, soil, ecological system, the atmosphere above it, life and joy, and many other things that we can take advantage of.

 

2.     What are the current needs of society, and how can the land be developed to make a difference to meet the needs of society?

 

 

☆Hints for Points

・a huge air purifier/water tank/vegetable garden/nature park/factory of micropower generators 

・a free cafeteria/ food bank/daycare center/evacuation center/space without commercial facilities 

・a shelter for refugees/the homeless/stray animals ・an independent radio station/TV station

・a tuition-free college/hospital/school/library/museum/botanical garden/ballpark/theater/concert hall

 

 

☆Presentation

1.     Make a presentation on your answer to this question by answering the following questions.

 

1)     What is a current need of society of your concern? What is its present situation?

e.g. It is refugee crisis. They are suffering from discrimination by the immigration offices and haters.

 

2)     How would you use the land to change the situation?

e.g. I would make it a facility for refugees to find a safe and happy life in my community.

 

3)     What are the advantages of it? 

e.g. It would save many lives.

 

4)     What problem can you expect as a result of your land-usage, and how would you address it?

e.g. Some local residents might not be happy about accepting refugees, but ignorance, prejudice, and discrimination must not be tolerated.

 

2.     Ask each other questions about each other’s presentations. This will help (to) make your ideas more interesting.

 

 

☆Sample Response

【Thesis】 I would use the land to help escape so-called refugee crisis.

【Supporting Details】 There are 35.5 million refugees around the world now. They have fled or lost their homes due to overwhelming events such as wars, conflicts, oppressions, and disasters. They are in desperate situations, including threat of their lives. and need support. Therefore, I would make the land a refugee camp and provide support to help them (to) become independent so that they can live a safe and happy life. It would save many lives. Also, it would facilitate economic and political actions for early safe returns of refugees to their homes.

【Counterargument-treatment】 A possible problem would be that some local residents might not be happy about accepting refugees, but ignorance, prejudice, and discrimination must not be tolerated.

【Conclusion】 It is about time for Japanese to realize what we are and learn to be nice to brothers and sisters from other countries. (149 words)

 

 

 

For reference: An essay on the same kind of topic

There would be many wise or innovative uses of a large tract of land, but I would make it a town which is a test case for peaceful coexistence of people and jungle crows. No other birds are so stigmatized as crows, particularly in Japan, where I live. They are regarded as filthy garbage-eaters, spiteful punks, and the sign of death. Yet, if observed carefully without prejudice, they will turn out to be as likable as pet animals. In fact, they are sometimes called flying dogs. They could possibly be our best friends in the sky.

   Jungle crows are the big black birds often seen scattering the contents of garbage bags collected on the sidewalks in Japanese cities. This is the main reason why they are hated, yet if you learn their history, you will see that they are not to blame. They used to live in forests and feed on dead animals on the ground. Development replaced trees with buildings, and animal bodies with garbage bags. They have been doing the same to survive, eating waste on the ground and nesting on the power poles, but now humans are offended by their routine. People also think crows are dirty and dangerous, but they bathe a few times a day and attack people only when they feel their nestlings are in danger, and the worst thing they could do is to swoop and kick from behind, which they rarely actually do because they are afraid of humans. It is true that they remember the face of the person who attacked or threatened them and repeatedly retaliate, but considering their trauma, it is understandable that they do it for self-defense. The biggest stigma that crows bear is the image of death, which probably derives from their color. Surely, they eat dead bodies, but so do many other creatures, from lions to bacteria. The fear of the color black is our problem, not theirs. In the eyes of humans on the ground, crows on power lines might be eerie dark spots in the sky, but seen from high above, they are precious pieces of life shining in purple and green.

   Although loathed, crows are well known to be smart, affectionate, and remarkable birds. They store their food in thousands of places and remember the spots. They use their calls for their communication. Moreover, they use tools, and one subspecies has evolved to make a tool. Sometimes, their behavior cannot be explained by any other words but play. There are reports of crows repeatedly sliding down the slide or snow slope or hanging upside down from the power line, neither of which has adaptive advantages. Also, jungle crows mimic many kinds of sounds, such as human words or machine noises. They cherish their mates and babies. There are many reports that crows grieve the death of other crows. I myself know a jungle crow which missed its mate for at least three years. When its mate suddenly disappeared, it made the saddest voice I had ever heard. A few months after the loss, the crow once kept perching for hours in the rain on a powerline its mate used to be around. One of the most striking things about crows is their eyes and ears. As they can see ultraviolet like other birds and can fly very high, they can spot a piece of bread from hundreds of meters high. They hear what humans cannot hear. Above all, they play an important role as scavengers getting rid of things people do not want to see lying on the ground like a dead mouse. Now some of you might find this bird a little more interesting than before.

   In my opinion, it is a shame that we do not have good relationships with jungle crows, a charming and interesting species that happens to live closest to us, and here comes my model town for the co-existence of jungle crows and humans. This town would have several parks full of tall trees, to which the garbage from the human community would be sent. Since jungle crows are originally from forests and tend to live where food is abundant, they would stay in the parks most of the time and would never bother littering the streets. The system would also reduce the cost of waste incineration and CO2 emissions. Humans can enter the parks and enjoy nature anytime except for the breeding season. My wildest dream is to have crows participate in rescue operations. For their ability to fly a long distance and high cognitive level, not to mention the great eyesight and hearing, they would make good rescue crows. Of course, for animal rights, only those that are willing and having the aptitude and characteristics should be given the missions. I actually know a crow that is eligible for it. Like us, crows also have individuals willing to take a risk for satisfaction and bonding.

   I once saw a jungle crow perched on a power line entertaining a dog down in a garage. The dog, wagging its tail and jumping around in the small space, looked quite happy to see its friend with wings. The scene reflected their positions in this world: one was confined and the other free. Crows could have been domesticated long ago, since their cleverness must have been noticed by our ancestors, but they have not. I feel, with no offense to dogs, that crows know what dignity is and keep a distance from humans. They are hated but live proudly. They are sensitive enough to feel the pain of life, yet they will never give up on life and can do without such things as hope or dream or religion. Perhaps we could learn something important from them by living closer to them than now.

 

Note: Some of the information about crows included in this essay are taken from Karasu no Kyokasho by Hajime Matsubara, a crow researcher and observation reports of unknown bird-lovers.

Write your response in 10 minutes. Show each other your responses. Write down questions or suggestions to each other’s response.

 

                                                   DRAFT