TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion Are major discoveries more often the result of collaborative effors or individual genius? - revised -

Are major discoveries more often the result of collaborative efforts or individual genius?? 

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1         What is the difference between discovery and invention?

Note: While inventions are creations of something new,

discoveries are findings of something that had existed all the time.

2         Name examples of major discoveries. Are they results of collaborative efforts or individual genius? Why?

 

 

☆Hints for Points

Collective efforts

1.     These days, novel prizes of science are shared by a group of scientists. Very often, major discoveries occur as a serendipity to a member of a group of researchers who are doing the same researches.

 

2.     Today’s important discoveries are products of strenuous efforts financed by those in power. Governments and big businesses support scientific projects for profits and power. Atomic energy, DNA, semi-conductors workable at room temperatures, iPS cells, Higgs boson, and gravitational waves are all crucial scientific discoveries that were made systematically with huge subsidies and through the collaboration of a large number of people in the related fields after some geniuses constructed the theories.

 

3.     No genius can discover anything without cumulative knowledge as an asset of humanity. Galileo’s discovery was based on the theory of Copernicus, and Copernicus’s theory was impossible without observations by unknown ancient thinkers.

 

Individual genius

1.     Historically, major breakthroughs have been attributed to individual researchers, who were often ridiculed by the neighbors who didn’t understand what they were doing.

 

2.     Chance discoveries would have been overlooked had it not been for a genius. Numerous people had seen the same phenomenon as Newton saw, but no one else discovered gravity. Only Flaming had the insight to find penicillin when he saw common molds in his laboratory. Few people still understand Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. He solely came up with the idea although helped by a mathematician in calculation.

 

 

☆Sample Response Structures

【Thesis】As long as a mind is a product of knowledge accumulated by a group of people or all humans, major discoveries are results of collaborative efforts rather than a genius in a broader sense of meaning.

【Supporting Details】First of all, thoughts are in sync with language, and the language the thinker uses has been made by the people of the individual’s ethnicity. Also, the pieces of knowledge the individual puts together to reach the “Eureka!” moment are the results of the efforts of other individuals.

【Counterargument-treatment】Of course, it is genius that leaps to the insight that leads to the final stage of a discovery, but what makes the genius is not just the genius themselves.

【Conclusion】Thus, major discoveries are made by countless number of people. (128 words)

 

【Thesis】People intuitively regard major discoveries as products of prodigy, and they are right.

【Supporting Details】Breakthroughs need unconventional ideas from extraordinary minds. Historic major discoveries are attributed to such names as Galileo Galilei, Issac Newton, and Albert Einstein, who were actually unknown and even treated as failures or touched when they were vigorously working on what was later going to be a discovery of the century.  

【Counterargument-treatment & Conclusion】Putting aside the cumulative knowledge that the breakthroughs were based on, significant discoveries are made by the gifted that their contemporaries never took them seriously, and therefore a major breakthrough is achieved not by a group of people but by a solitary giant. (106 words)

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Writing for an Academic Discussion Should children be forced to do housework? - revised -

Question: Should children be forced to do housework? 

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1.        Read the following and talk about other good effects of children doing housework. What chores have you done? How have they affected you?

 

Scientists say kids doing chores helps their development   BBC 15^th June 2022

“You might not be a big fan of chores but new research suggests that they can get help you develop problem solving skills and even do better in school.

The study has come from La Trobe University in Australia and was carried out with more than 200 parents and children aged 5-13.

Parents were asked about their child's engagement after doing chores.

They reported that chores helped to boost a child's executive functions: These include the ability to focus, to plan, to switch between tasks, to remember instructions and control their behavior.”

 

2.        Is it ok to force children to do something? When necessary, parents must force their children to do something. For example, they must make them take medicine when they are sick even if they resist it, while forcing them to do some activity they don’t like, say boxing or playing the piano, may be traumatic.

 

 

☆Hints for Points

Agree:    Chores teach children skills necessary for independence.

Chores encourage children to use their body and brain.

By doing chores, children can acquire patience, a sense of responsibility, confidence, and self-esteem.

Housework teaches children knowledge about traditional seasonal events and family cultures.

Through helping with parents, children can effectively communicate with them and bond with them.

Children will come to appreciate work done by parents and gain respect for labor in general.

 

Disagree: Forcing children to do against their will will adversely affect their development.

Children must play, study, and interact with people and nature instead of working.

Doing a simple task for hours disrupts their physical and mental health.

 

 

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Thesis】Chores can be a part of education. It is important for children to be required to help with household work commensurate with their abilities unless it interferes with other crucial activities for growth, because doing chores helps children’s development in many aspects and brace them for independence.

【Supporting Details】Assigning children chores not only helps their emotional, mental, and physical development but also give them basic skills of daily life, which helps them become independent. They can learn basic domestic duties such as making beds, cleaning, washing, and cooking. There is no denying that having these skills will make their lives easier in the future than not having them.

【Counterargument-treatment】Disciplining often involves compulsion, and the negative effect can be minimized or avoided by parents’ love and ingenuity such as introducing the tasks as part of play or family event. After all, disciplining will nurture patience and tenacity, which are indispensable to lead a good life.

【Conclusion】It is parents’ responsibility to make children participate in doing housework so that they can function well in society when they grow up. (179 words)

 

【Thesis】I am concerned about exploitation and abuse in disguise of discipline when parents order their children to housework even though I admit that learning to do housework has fundamentally positive effects on children.

【Supporting Details】Unfortunately, many children are still forced to help with housework at the expense of other essential activities they need to go through for their development and even exposed to physical damage. This is not just because of poverty but because of ignorance or negligence. Parents are human beings and imperfect and thus can take advantage of their children for their convenience or pleasure. My mother made me wax the whole floor of my father’s office with bear hands alone for hours at least twice when I was around eight. I still remember the chemical smell of the wax. The chemical my hands and respiratory organs absorbed could have negatively affected my physical condition. Also, while I was doing the task, my mother spent time with my little sister. I remember feeling isolated.

【Counterargument-treatment】Even though the task may have instilled me with patience and sense of responsibility, its overall gain on my development is questionable. My mother was not a bad person. In fact, she was respected and loved by her family and friends, which means that most children of average parents are vulnerable to parental ignorance, abuse, and exploitation.

【Conclusion】Thus, prudence is necessary in assigning chores to children. (234 words)

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Pre-TOEFL Reading Extra Questions

 

1.      L.3 “a place only a few shades away from being one vast insane asylum”とはどの様な場所ですか？

 

Answer: ほとんどの人が____気ではない場所

 

 

2.      第2段落はじめのHowever, … によってゴヤの社会的立場は良くなりましたか？

 

Answer: 良くなった/悪くなった

 

 

3.      L.12 the fact he was named to the highest privileged position for an artist by Spain, “First Painter to the King.” の factの後に省略されている単語を書いて下さい。

 

Amswer: the fact ________ he was named to the highest privileged position for an artist by Spain, “First Painter to the King.”

 

 

4.      L.13 as did many others は倒置です。通常の語順に並べ替え、和訳してください。

 

Answer: 通常の語順

              和訳

 

5.      L. 20 from が修飾しているのはどの単語ですか？

 

Answer:

 

6.      l. 20 Beyond this, とありますが、筆者がこの表現を使った理由は何ですか？

ヒント:  Beyond this, の前後（ゴヤの良い点）の差に注目してみましょう。

 

Answer:

TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion The involvement of parents and communities in school education - revised -

Should parents and communities play an active role in improving the quality of school education? 

 

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1)     In Japan, the board of education manages the education of the community. They choose textbooks, change school rules, and dismiss teachers if necessary. However, the board members are not elected from parents or community members. On the other hand, the board of education consists of anyone over the age of voting including parents, community members, and students in many states in the U.S. Which do you think is better? Why?

2)     Have you ever seen a helicopter parent or unreasonable parent who bothers teachers?

 

 

☆Hints for Points

Agree

1.     The concept of children as the asset of the community will be revived and this will lead to more involved citizens’ actions to require the government to provide better education for children.

2.     Parents are the most serious about providing quality education to their children.

3.     The community, rather than the government, often know what should be taught at school, so their voices should be reflected more in education.  e.g. About 100 years ago, in Taisho era, merchants of the city of Osaka felt the need of language skills in the international trade and funded to make a language school for young merchants. The school was nationalized after WWII and named Osaka University of Foreign Studies, later integrated into University of Osaka.

4.     Mind development will be accelerated.  e.g. Some communities have started support systems for learning by retiree volunteers and has improved performances of children at school.

 

Disagree

1.     Helicopter parents interrupt school education.

2.     Leaving education to specialists is the best policy. The government has the department of education and trains professionals to provide a good education.

3.     Voting is the channel to reflect citizens’ opinions.

4.     Influential entities such as strongmen or a religious group can prevent proper education.

e.g. There are people who are against girls’ education because of their faith or anachronism.

 

 

☆Sample Essay Structure

A        【Thesis】I am totally for the active role of parents and communities in school education in terms of mind development. I actually think they themselves should even directly help teaching.

【Supporting Details】The benefit of this policy is heightened awareness and cognitive ability of the children that their exposure to various adults in the community will stimulate. For example, after-school schooling volunteers can provide children with knowledge and experiences crucial to mind development. They can teach morals, pass down community history, culture, and tradition, and present new perspectives that are not taught at school. The interactions and the organic way of nurturing will give children a sense of security and help build well-rounded personalities.

【Counterargument-treatment】It is true that too many cooks can spoil the broth as the saying goes, but it is the golden rule of a good society that youngsters are taken care of by all the older community members to raise the next generation for the continuation of the community.

【Conclusion】Therefore, communal involvement is vital in school education. (171 words)

 

B        【Thesis】I think parents and communities should play an active role in improving the quality of education, but I have a couple of caveats.

【Benefits】Citizen’s involvement makes reforms appropriate, easier, and faster. Financial aid from the community for education can increase. There will be more interest in child-rearing and education among citizens as well as parents.

【Caveat 1】On the other hand, ideology can overwhelm reality and the school system can be disrupted. For example, children could be forced to follow unnecessary rules.

【Caveat 2】Also, the power structure among parents or in the community may undermine the education, leading to greater inequality.

【Conclusion】Active participation of the adults in education is fundamentally good, but unless it is decided to what extent parents and communities are involved in education, adverse effects may follow. (135 words)

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