TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion Should physical exercise be a mandatory part of education? (Revised)

Do you believe that physical exercise should be a mandatory part of the school education, or should schools concentrate solely on academic subjects?

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1.     What is the purpose of education?

2.     Is physical exercise a required activity in your school? Why do you think it is or why not?

3.     Are there any other benefits in making physical exercise mandatory than what Alice mentioned?

4.     What is Bob’s point? Do you agree?

 

 

☆Hints for points

The purpose of education

・To promote physical, mental, and social development of individuals.    

・To develop every individual to their full potential.

・To equip individuals with earning ability.

 

The purposes and benefits of physical education

・Healthy mind and body: Moderate exercise can not only promote physical fitness and develop motor skills but also help students better concentrate on their study.

・Healthy lifestyle: Students who are not interested in sports can learn to stay in shape and maintain a healthy lifestyle into adulthood.

・Familiarity with popular sports: Hands-on experiences with popular sports help students enjoy playing or watching them.

・Intimacy with classmates and social skills: Playing sports or doing exercise together helps students relate to each other and develop social skills.

 

Counterargument

・Physical exercise is available outside of school while academic subjects are not, so time should be spent on the latter and the former should be an elective.

 

 

☆Sample Responses

Sample 1

【Thesis】I think P.E. should be mandatory because it fulfills the purpose of education: to promote physical, mental, and social development of individuals.

【Supporting Details】For example, playing basketball develops physical fitness, heightens alertness, and promotes friendship and team work. P.E. also allows students to relax as Alice mentions. I’m sure everybody remembers the refreshed feeling after moving their body in a P.E. class between academic classes. Studies find that exercise even raises learning ability and memory.

【Counterargument-treatment】Although I understand Bob’s concern about losing precious time for academic studies by allocating not a few school hours for workout and sports, but it could be a little narrow-sighted in light of the purpose of education. It is not just academic performance but also well-rounded personality and physical fitness that make one’s life fulfilling, which is what education is all about.

【Conclusion】Thus, I believe P.E. should be a requirement. (144 words)

 

Sample 2

【Thesis】I agree with Bob because academic subjects are available only in school while physical exercise can be done anywhere.

【Supporting Details】Awareness of physical fitness has become prevalent, and there are enough opportunities to exercise outside of school, affordable means and facilities for health being available. Also, it is questionable if sports are indispensable for the health. Doing household work or walking a long distance, for example, has the same positive effects on the body and mind.

【Counterargument-treatment】Of course, benefit from physical exercise at school cannot be denied. However, it won’t get a unanimous support as some people don’t like sports or doing exercise. Actually, P.E. classes mean nothing but a torture to them. Those who have to observe P.E. classes due to frailty, injury, or disease even have to endure the feeling of seclusion. In the end, physical exercise is one of the practical subjects like music and art, which are elective in high school.

【Conclusion】Therefore, I think physical exercise should be treated as such at least in high school.

 (169 words)

Write your response in 10 minutes. Show each other your responses. Write down questions or suggestions to each other’s response.

 

                                                   DRAFT

 

 

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                          

TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion Which is better, focusing deeply on fewer subjects or covering a broad range of subjects in high school? (Revised)

Which approach do you think is better, focusing deeply on fewer subjects or covering a broad range of subjects in high school, and why?

 

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1.     What is high school education for?

2.     Would you like to take any of the following electives if your high school offered them? Why?

Mindfulness, Web Design, Business, Mandarin Chinese, Ceramics, Law, Business, Statistics.

 

 

☆Hints for Points

1.        High school students are still growing. Their interests may not have been fixed, yet.

2.        You can start learning other subjects later in life, while expertise can be gained only at school.

3.        To take liberal arts courses at college, students need a wide range of knowledge.

4.        Many studies in university are interdisciplinary, so you need to be well versed in a variety of subjects.

5.        Many high school students have narrowed down their academic interests according to their aptitudes and characteristics. They may want to be immersed in the subjects they like.

 

 

☆Sample Responses

Sample 1

【Thesis】I agree with Mark and think that learning a wide range of subjects is better for most high school students to prepare for their university education.

【Supporting Details】Many universities offer liberal arts for the first two college years, and these courses require intermediate level knowledge to take. Moreover, university subjects are related to many aspects of our lives, and so a wide range of general knowledge is necessary for comprehension and application of the subjects. Thus, students should be trained in a variety of courses in high school.

【Counterargument-treatment】While acquiring a profound understanding in a specific field would be an achievement as Jessica claims, most high school students are not ready for such endeavor. Rather, they need to have enough general knowledge to follow the wide-range of advanced-level studies to prepare for the comprehension of deep insights later in college.

【Conclusion】Therefore, it is better for high school students to choose the breadth rather than the depth. (155 words)

 

Sample 2

【Thesis】I think it is vital for high school students to delve into the subject of their interest, which facilitates true leaning and lead them to productive life.

【Depth】What makes an individual happy in a true sense is doing what the person likes. Intense and focused learning experiences with passion gives them the experience of getting a life, and this will set the standard of the person’s lifestyle high, which will positively affect many aspects of their lives from studies to work to family life. They can live life based not on someone else’s but on their own value.

【Broadness】On the other hand, browsing many kinds of subjects will help make a well-rounded lifestyle. They sow potential interests in the person’s mind that will blossom later and add a new layer to the person’s life. For example, Classical Chinese may not be drawn on in other majors or at work, but morals and anecdotes in the texts actually deepen numerous moments in everyday life. Be it as it may, serious pursuit of a subject will in the end organically connect to gaining knowledge in a wide range of subjects.

【Conclusion】Hence, learning a limited number of subjects is more suitable to high school students.

(202 words)

 

 

Sample Response Structures

A

【Thesis】

【Supporting Details】

【Counterargument】

【Conclusion】

 

B

【Thesis】

【Depth】

【Broadness】

【Conclusion】

 

C

【Thesis】

【What’s high school for?】

【Which choice is proper?】

【Conclusion】

Write your response in 10 minutes. Show each other your responses. Write down questions or suggestions to each other’s response.

 

                                                   DRAFT