TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion Military or Sports Programs? (Revised)

Imagine your country has a certain budget that can be allocated either to the self-defense force or to sports programs. Which area should receive the funding, and why? Consider the potential impacts on national security, international prestige, and community well-being in your response.

 

 

☆Let’s Read and Think

Read the excerpt from An Appeal from the “Article Nine Association” and answer the following question:

…The use of force only results in robbing a country and its people of their livelihood and of their happiness. Since the 1990s, armed interventions by major nations into regional conflicts have also failed to result in effective resolutions. That is why, in such places as Europe and Southeast Asia, efforts are being strengthened to create regional frameworks that can help to resolve conflicts through diplomacy and dialogue. … Based on Article Nine, Japan needs to develop ties of friendship and cooperation with the peoples of Asia and other regions, and change a diplomatic stance that only prioritizes a military alliance with the United States. Japan must play an active role in the tide of world history by exercising its autonomy and acting in a pragmatic manner. It is precisely because of Article Nine that Japan can engage its partner nations in peaceful diplomacy while respecting their various positions, and collaborate with them in the fields of economy, culture, science and technology.  

 

Question: How would spending more money on each choice affect national security, international prestige, and community well-being?

 

 

☆Hints for Points

National Security

1.       Japan is already one of the largest military powers in the world. The Self-Defense Forces have been training with the U.S. military for almost 20 years. Constitutional amendment will finalize the process.

2.       Militarization of Japan will emphasize its geopolitical position as a buffer country for the United States against China and Russia, which facilitates the U.S. to keep its hegemony in the world.

 

International Prestige

1.        Shift from arms competition to business corporation promotes international security.

2.        Supporting sports rather than increasing military spending will improve the national image (soft power).

3.        Japan has a history of violent past: imperial Japan before and during WWII. Militarization would give a bad impression to other countries, especially countries that Japan invaded in the past. Also. Japan has a history of diplomatic solutions of international problems since the end of WWII. This has earned us a good reputation and has kept us free from terrorism. We must continue this diplomatic peace-building.

4.        Strengthening the military-industrial complex makes the economy dependent on weapons deal as in North Korea and Israel, whose images are extremely bad. 

5.        Self-defense forces are often dispatched to disaster-stricken countries for humanitarian-aids.

 

Community well-being

1.        Self-defense forces are indispensable in rescue efforts while disasters have been increasing recently.

2.        Weapons are much more expensive than sports promotion, while  government spending on sports has been tight as well as those on basic researches, art, education, and fundamental researches in science. To revitalize the economy, these areas must be funded.

3.       Sports are not free from problems. The International Olympic Committee (IOC) is corrupt, prioritizing the profit-making through television broadcasting rights. The government of the host country often funnel tax to related industries, but the trickle-down effect has been proven wrong. The public suffer from the government debt. The environment is influenced.

 

☆Sample Response

【Thesis】Japan, where I live, should not spend more on defense than sports.

【Supporting Details】The defense budget has exponentially increased over the past 15 years. Now it is nearly 2% of its GDP and can be raised to 3.5 of its GDP soon. This sends a negative message to our neighbors like China, Korea, and South-East Asian countries because of the past invasion and war crimes of Imperial Japan. Moreover, most of our military spending goes to the purchase of outdated weapons from the U.S. or is used to make up for the deficit of the U.S. military. It is a waste of money and it makes Japan a potential battle ground.

【Counterargument-treatment】It is true that sports programs are hotbeds of corruption. However, it is within the sphere of who benefits the most, while military spending leads to wars and deaths.

【Conclusion】Instead of using money for fear, I would like my government to use it for peaceful purposes.

TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion Teamsports or Individual Sports as Children's Education (Revised)

Some believe that individual sports foster independence and self-discipline, while others argue that team sports teach valuable social skills and teamwork. What is your perspective on this issue? Which type of sport do you think is more beneficial for children, and why?

 

 

 

☆Let’s Read and Think

Read the following excerpt from a homepage of kidsportcanada and follow the direction below.

 

The Challenges with Team Sports

Though it’s clear that team sports have many benefits, there are also some challenges. Managing potential disputes amongst teammates is one of the major obstacles, according to Active Kids. Different personalities and ability levels can occasionally result in clashes, which call for mediation and resolution from coaches and parents. In addition, when playing team sports, individual accomplishments may be eclipsed by the team’s performance, which can be upsetting for some kids who want to be recognized for their efforts.

 

The Challenges with Individual Sports

Like team sports, individual sports have unique challenges. The solitary nature of these sports may cause feelings of loneliness or isolation, particularly during demanding practice sessions or competitions. Children who play individual sports may also miss out on the teamwork and bonding that come with being part of a team. The self-driven character of individual athletics, according to Calgary’s Child, necessitates high levels of devotion and determination. Some kids can find it difficult to maintain their discipline and attention without the help and encouragement of teammates.

 

Direction: Share your experiences written above and other issues of each type of sports. Are these challenges serious enough to avoid the sports? Why/Why not?

 

 

☆Hints for Points

1.       Humans are social animals and need social skills to survive or live a good and happy life. Team sports help children acquire social skills more effectively than other activities, including individual sports.

 

2.       Social skills and teamwork are acquired by living in society with or without joining a team sports club. On the other hand, self-discipline and independence cannot be acquired easily just by living a daily life. Individual sports are ideal activities to enhance these properties. Children can practice them while having fun and witnessing the effects on their body and mind.

 

3.       Benefits of individual sports overlap with those of team sports. Team members need to train individually and lean self-discipline to be able to contribute to the team as a member.

 

4.       Team sports can trigger bullying when a non-athletic children join a team and fail to do the job that other children can do or miss the signals from their team mates.

 

5.       Individual aptitude and personal preference count in sports. It is important for the child to be able to enjoy the sport and grow mentally and physically by doing it. 

 

 

☆Sample Response

【Thesis】Though Maya makes a good point that team sports effectively socialize children. I am more aligned with Liam because all children can benefit from individual sports while not all of them can benefit from team sports.

【Supporting Details】Individual sports are holistic. Whether it is swimming, gymnastics, or short track, all the procedures are done by the solo player. This makes the child more focused on the play and the practice. The child voluntarily starts self-control and self-management to improve performances. This gives satisfaction to not only introverts and those who are not good with balls but also all children of any nature.

【Counterargument-treatment】Maya’s point that activities like strategizing in football or basketball effectively strengthens bonds is true, but that is only a fraction of the team-sport practice. Outfielders on a baseball team, for example, may just keep standing alone around his position during the game. They hardly ever move except for the time for basic workouts. While this might be effective in learning to be altruistic, which is an essential quality to be a good citizen, it can be learned in other scenes of life such as school project, and it could even produce an organization person that never thinks or moves proactively in collective activities.

【Conclusion】After all, sports must be fun in the first place, and for this matter too, individual sports are more beneficial to all children than team sports, which often make less active or clumsy children suffer.

 (240 words)

TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion Is ability to read and write more important today than in the past? (Revised)

With the advent of digital technology and multimedia forms of communication some argue that the traditional skills of reading and writing are not as essential as they were in the past. Others believe that these foundational skills are even more critical now. Considering the changing ways in which we disseminate and consume information, do you think the ability to read and write is more important today than in the past? Why or why not?

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1. Ava believes that today’s information-saturated world requires higher literacy ever. Make an objection.

2. Jacob suggests that videos and podcasts are often more informative than reading materials. Make an objection.

 

 

☆Hints for Points

Agree (Ability to read and write is more important today than in the past in the past.)

1         Literacy is essential in deciding reliability of videos and podcasts, for intelligence depends on literacy. To be intelligent, you must read and write because knowledge of truth humans accumulated for millennia is in writing.

 

2         Unlike two centuries ago, most of our daily tasks involve reading and writing. There is written information everywhere such as signs and scripts on TV screens. Literacy is necessary in our daily lives. Using social media also involves reading and sending texts. People usually exchange information through scripts, e-mails and text messages. To learn the latest information and communicate exactly what you think or feel, you need to be literate.

 

3         Development of technology requires you to be involved in more intellectual tasks than physical tasks. For example, entrance examinations for university include more essays than before. In business, there are more need for research and presentation skills as automatization and robotization proceeds. Also, high-level language skills are crucial in successfully utilizing AI by giving proper commands to it.

 

4         To get the most out of our lives in this age of information, whose main medium is language, literacy is indispensable.

 

 Disagree

1.          Seeing is believing. Videos and podcasts help people understand issues more quickly, easily, and effectively than written media.

 

2.          There are few opportunities to read and write today as a result of technological development. Most tasks are done just by clicking icons. Many people can spell fewer words correctly than before due to predictive text and spell check functions, and they find few problems in their daily lives.

 

3.          Just as the ability to make fire is unnecessary anymore thanks to lighters and power plants, so is the ability to read and write now that we have developed technology for it. We can think and communicate more freely and creatively while machines deal with information effectively for us.

 

4.          There are CEOs who are dyslexic. Reading and writing is just a part of human intellectual activity.

 

 

☆Sample Answer Structure

【Thesis】I believe that the ability to read and write is much more important than before.

【Supporting Details】Development of the modern world won’t happen without written media. New ideas like gender equality and climate justice, for instance, cannot be disseminated without any written text, and our thoughts and ideas keep evolving, necessitating our efforts in reading and writing even more.

【Counterargument-treatment】Jacob is right that people don’t read as much as before, but it doesn’t make reading and writing less important. It is true that audio and visual media make up for drawbacks of written media. Seeing is believing, and narration liberates us, especially those with reading impairment, from the burden of reading. They also have their own attractiveness. However, reading text is one and only action that cannot be replaced by other actions as text directly stimulates our thoughts and feeling. Video, podcasts, or audiobooks interfere this connection between text and our brain. Also, high level of intelligence cannot be maintained without literacy as text mainly deals with abstract ideas.

【Conclusion】As human thoughts have evolved and reside in written media, the content of which relates to a large part of human society, ability to read and write becomes increasingly important unless our civilization is lost. (202 words)

 

 

☆Speech Time

Make a one-minute speech and have a debate on this topic.

TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion Which is more beneficial, prioritizing winning or focusing on participation and personal development in P.E classes? (Revised)

In the context of school sports programs, here is often a debate between prioritizing winning and focusing on participation and personal development. Considering the impact on students’ growth, team dynamics, and school culture, do you think it is more beneficial for schools to emphasize winning in sports events, or should the focus be more on participation and personal development?

 

 

 

☆Let’s Think

	Students’ Growth	Team Dynamics	School Culture
Prioritizing Winning In Sports Events
Focusing on Participation And personal Development

 

 

☆Hints for Points

Emphasis on winning sporting events

l  It easily motivates students and effectively contributes to their physical growth because passion for winning is instinctive and contest, or competition, is one of the major elements of sports.

l  It successfully enhances teamwork skills.

l  It corresponds with competitive culture of today’s society, of which school is part of. It helps students get accustomed to losing and make them tough and positive in competition.

 

Emphasis on participation and personal development

l  It makes non-athletic students conscious of their fitness and help them acquire the habits of working out.

l  It develops self-discipline because students compete against themselves.

l  Focusing on winning can promote the “The-end-justifies-the-means” attitude, and this will degrade humanities like losing the spirit of fair play and taking Machiavellian approaches, which is not good for personal development and school culture.

l  Competitiveness is the core mindset of the capitalist society, where the winner takes all while the loser is not taken care of. This will weaken the humanity, while focusing on participation and personal development in P.E. classes nurture more relaxed, merciful mindset and school culture.

 

 

☆Sample Response

【Thesis】If education is to civilize people, it’s to not stimulate instinct, and so physical education should not stimulate urges to win because it is instinctive and barbaric and is often the cause of problems such as hate, discrimination, bullying, and war.

【Supporting Details】The Unites States, which is plagued with these issues, is the case in point. It has dominated as a military power since the end of WWII, oppressing people around the world by all means to stay number one. This urge to win is instilled in its people. Winning, not fair play, is prioritized in sports. The filthy rich, who did not choose the means to their goals, are respected as winners of their capitalist society. This ethos of the American Empire has made the national character that lacks the warmth and delicacy of humanity, and now it has become No. 1 in the developed world in all kinds of problems, including homicide and suicide rates.

【Counterargument-treatment】Olivia’s point that competitive spirit motivates students to excel in anything and this nurtures discipline and perseverance in them could be true in individual sports, but in team sports, each member must grow first and as a result team spirit must be established to get the drive to be the best through good team dynamics.

【Conclusion】Therefore, winning should not be the goal in P.E. classes. It should be taken as a result of good participation and personal growth. (234 words)

 

 

TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion The Most Important Subject to Learn in High School (Revised)

Considering the range of disciplines traditionally taught in high schools―such as mathematics, science, history, and English―what do you think is the most important subject for students to learn? Justify your choice by discussing its relevance to students’ personal growth, their role in society, or their future professional lives?

 

 

☆Let’s Think

	Personal Growth	Students’ Role in Society	Future Professional Lives
Mathematics  and Science
Social Studies (History, Geography, and Civics)
Language
Others

 

 

☆Hints for Points

・National Language: Language is thought. (Noam Chomsky)  The level of literacy decides the level of the humanity, and in the end, of the society.

・Mathematics: It nurtures logic and imagination.

・Science: It gives us knowledge of the physical world, which helps us think about where we are from and where we are now. It is also the foundation of engineering.

・History: You can learn why human society is as it is now.

・Geography: You can gain knowledge of how life is in each region on this planet.

・Civics: To build a true democracy, everyone needs to learn civics.

・Home Economics: Regardless of sex, students must learn to be able to be independent, to take care of themselves and their family.

・Second Language: To learn new perspectives, to be well-rounded, and to be useful in the society of diversity in the 21^st century, it is necessary to learn other languages.

 

 

☆Sample Response

【Thesis】I think National Language is the most important subject in high school because it develops brains, which contributes to students’ personal development, role in society, and future job opportunities.

【Supporting Details】Noam Chomsky, who is the Einstein of Linguistics in that he revolutionized this subject in the 20^th century and presented new perspectives about Language and humans, says that Language is not only a means of communication but also our thought itself. Language acquisition forms the wiring of the brain, and so mother tongue acquisition is in line with the formation of the mind and facilitates personal development, which leads to trust and confidence from society. Also, the level of mother tongue proficiency affects performances in other subjects. Not to speak of literature and history, subjects that require high level of syntax and vocabulary to study, science and math depends on the command of the mother tongue in understanding and forming a concept or an image that is neither visible nor tangible. As a result, literacy level will be the key to most professional jobs.

【Counterargument-Treatment】Although an overly pedantic focus on punctuation hinders the growth of literacy, overall training in basic language skills is indispensable for learning because it nurtures critical thinking and the ability to articulate ideas clearly.

【Conclusion】High school years is the last years for individuals to have significant brain development, and therefore, training students’ national language skills and helping them have their highest possible language ability is the most important thing that a school can do to make students’ lives fulfilling and successful. (254 words)

 

 

☆Speech Time

1) Make a speech on this topic. Don’t worry. Everybody speaks at the same time.

2) Have a debate on this topic.