TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, It is truly enjoyable to play a game only if you win. / Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past? - rewrite -

Writing Topic A: It is truly enjoyable to play a game only if you win. Agree/Disagree?

☆Let’s think

Points in questions:

1) "It is ..."→An objective opinion is required.

2) "truly enjoyable" →It is asking whether you can enjoy a game from the bottom of your heart. 

3) "only if you win" →There are no exceptions. You can never enjoy a game unless you win.

- What is a game? For what purpose do you play a game?

     play/entertainment, pastime, to have fun with others, to release stress, to be inspired, to try your luck

     →You play a game　for many reasons other than to win.

- What is truly enjoyable?

     attaining a goal (e.g. winning, having fun)

     gaining something expected (e.g. closer relationship, feeling refreshed, etc.)

     gaining something unexpected (e.g. kindness, learning a lesson/moral, seeing someone extraordinary, learning about human nature, etc.)

     →Many things other than winning are truly enjoyable.

- Is there anything that makes you say to yourself, “Well, I had a really good time!” after a game you lost?

     Your best friend won.

The winner won in an amazing way.

The atmosphere was great, everyone smiling and being considerate to others.

You have got something important during the game like a new friend or information.

You were not concerned about winning or losing from the beginning.

     →A game can be really enjoyable even if you lose.

- Conclusion: Disagree. Playing a game can be enjoyable even if you do not win because a game is an entertainment, whose purposes are not just to win. (The purpose of life itself is not just to win.) The other way around will lead to the attitude of doing anything to win or to make others lose and not all people act that way.

☆Essay for ideas and expressions  (Taken from “Writing for the TOEFL iBT”, Barron’s)

xxx

☆Essay Structure

♦Sample Essay Structure in the case that you have two or three reasons to support your argument

【Introduction = Outline】　主張と理由の概要

【Point 1】理由1の詳細

【Point 2】理由2の詳細

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】理由3の詳細または反論の処理

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】結論

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Writing Topic B: Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past?

 ☆Hints for Points

Agree:

1.    Literacy and wealth are related. 

The higher the literacy rate is, the wealthier the country is.

              past → now

developing →developed

2.    Development of technology allows/requires you to be involved in more intellectual tasks than physical ones.

       entrance examinations - more essay examinations

       businessmen - research and presentation skills

3.    Information age

       getting information through the Internet (not from people)

       exchanging information through scripts (e-mails/text messages)

       extra information in writing (scripts on TV screens)

- Conclusion: Yes. The ability to read and write is more important today than in the past for us to get the most out of our lives in this age of information.

Disagree:

1.    More people can spell less than before and they relate this decline to the new technology prevalent in today’s society, while the same people find few problems in dealing with things that commonly happen every day. “I write only when I sign for my credit card.”

2.    Human culture has evolved along with technological development. Just as the ability to make fire is unnecessary anymore with all kinds of lighters around us, so is the ability to read and write now that we have developed technology for it. We can think and communicate more freely while machines read and write for us.

3.    Thought is always the most important and the ability to read and write is just a ramification of it. Steven Hawkins, the most famous scholar of universe, has been barely able to read and write over the past decades, yet he has made greater accomplishment than any other human. The ever more important today is the ability to think and feel.

- Conclusion: No. Reading and writing is just a part of human intellectual activity like calculation. Our lives have been filled with many more important things than literal things. The ability to read and write has just a marginal importance now as it has always been.

☆Essay Structure

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】 主張と理由の概要

【Point 1】 理由1の詳細

【Point 2】 理由2の詳細

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】 理由3の詳細または反論の処理

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】 結論

ＴＯＥＦＬ ｉＢＴ， Ｉｎｄｅｐｅｎｄｅｎｔ Ｗｒｉｔｉｎｇ， In what way do you think movies and televisions influence people's thoughts and actions? / What is the most important or enjoyable class you have ever taken? Why did this class have an impact on you?

Writing Topic A 

In what way do you think movies and televisions influence people's thoughts and actions?

☆Let’s Think

Let’s start by discussing the words in the writing topic.

1)    What do movies and televisions have in common?

(e.g. celebrities, sponsors, advertisements, trends, media most people use to get information)

2)    What do these factors have in common in people’s thoughts and actions? 

(e.g. influence on our likes and dislikes, moral notion, etc.)

3)    What argument can you make using the answers above?

(e.g. Movies and televisions affect the world view of the audience.)

☆Hints for Points

Movies and television …

1.    either widen or narrow our views – useful for children to learn new things while preventing grownups from seeing the whole picture of their society (e.g. Despite the fact that half of their income goes to the richest 10% of them, still many people in America, the world’s most celebrity-oriented society, believe in the American dream and think they will be a millionaire some day and thus are against raising tax on the rich.)

2.    help us learn “common sense” – children learn dos and don’ts

3.    shape our habits – many smoking scenes and more smokers in the past

4.    make us spend money

5.    narrow our interests – sports, music, and fashion and food being what most of our lives are about because they are featured in TV and movies

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】Movies and televisions make people easier to control.

【Point 1】Movies and televisions greatly help shape people’s values.

e.g.  In the Islamic extremists’ animation, the bad guy is always American.

【Point 2】TV and movies encourage consumerism.

e.g. Thousands of brand names instilled in children in the US

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】There can be good news shows and documentaries, but as media depend on sponsors, they cannot go so far as to be straightforward about the dark side of the power, and people’s perception of the world will be skewed.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Movies and television programs provide information and values which comply with the status quo, and people tend to think and behave accordingly.

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

A paragraph of the body of an essay often develops its main idea as follows:

【Main Idea】 (主張)

【Explanation】 (主張の説明)

【Detail / Example in general】 (一般的な例)

【More Specific Detail / Example】 (より具体的な例)

【Follow-up / Counterargument-treatment】 (補足または反論の処理)

【Conclusion】 (結論)

♦Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】Movies and televisions greatly help shape people’s values.

【Explanation】 They create people’s desire for what is valued in their society.

【Detail / Example in general】 For example, children watch TV and decide what they want to be.

【More Specific Detail / Example】 With the intense attention to the celebrity life of the media, American girls fancy being a celebrity instead of someone in a specific profession like an actress. On the other hand, in the Islamic extremists’ animation, Americans are villains, and their boys aspire to become soldiers to be a martyr, i.e. suicide bomber.

【Follow-up / Counterargument-treatment】 Other media and society also help shape our values, but since movies and televisions are more attractive and easier to use than others the influence is greater. Popular good-looking actors and TV personalities beat printed words and graphs.

【Conclusion】 Watching popular movies and televisions help make minds submissive to the power.

♦Your Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】 (主張)

【Explanation】 (主張の説明)

 【Detail / Example in general】 (一般的な例) 

【More Specific Detail / Example】 (より具体的な例)

【Follow-up / Counterargument-treatment】 (補足または反論の処理)

【Conclusion】 (結論)

Writing Topic B 

What is the most important or enjoyable class you have ever taken? Why did this class have an impact on you?

☆Let’s Think

Let’s start by answering the following questions.

1) Recall the most important or enjoyable class that you have ever taken

2) Why do you think so?

(e.g. lesson content, teacher, atmosphere, key events)

3) What impact did it have on you?

(e.g. interest in the subject, interest in studying, acquired some skills or knowledge)

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】 A mock language class for English language instructors.

【Point 1】It was my first time to learn a language without the aid of my mother tongue.

【Point 2】I relearned effective skills.

【Point 3】I also learned students’ psyche in class.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】The class was not only informative but also inspiring.

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Paragraph development

♦Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】 I also learned students’ psyche in class.

【Explanation】 The foreign language class showed me how students feel in class and helped me improve my job as an English instructor.

【Detail / Example in general】 For example, I was surprised and frustrated by my lack of talent.

【More Specific Detail / Example】 I repeatedly failed to pronounce words properly and had difficulty in memorizing names of the things on picture cards.

【Follow-up / Counterargument-treatment】 Since I had thought that I was a quick learner and had a confidence in my short time memory, the class was shocking enough for me to reflect on my ability and attitude as a teacher in class where I would often take it for granted that students could do some tasks without much difficulty.

【Conclusion】 I came to see students’ uneasiness in class and became more patient with them.

♦Your Sample Paragraph Development

Now choose one of the points you have prepared in the essay structure above and develop it, using the paragraph development structure below if you like.

【Main Idea】 (主張)

【Explanation】 (主張の説明)

 【Detail / Example in general】 (一般的な例) 

【More Specific Detail / Example】 (より具体的な例)

【Follow-up / Counterargument-treatment】 (補足または反論の処理)

【Conclusion】 (結論)

TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, Is it important to spend effort and money to dress fashionably and attractively? / Do you think it is a good and useful thing for many foreigners to learn the language of your country?

☆Step 2 - A

Some people think it is important to spend effort and money to dress fashionably and attractively, others think that clothes are not an important way of spending one’s money and energy. Do you think fashion and clothes are important? Use specific details and examples in your answer.

☆Let’s Think

Sample thought process

1.    Analyzing the ideas in the Writing Topic:

1. The first part of the first sentence of the writing topic says, “Some people think it is important to spend effort and money to dress fashionably and attractively”. What makes some people think that way? They might think that it is beneficial to dress well or it is bad not to dress well.

Supposed reasons:

Good impression, especially the first impression. It is a shortcut to tell who someone is For example, …(e.g. job interview)

1)    Self-expression.  For example, …(e.g. an inexpensive way to be creative)

2)    Sense of belonging. For example, …(e.g. a way to show your identity)

Your guess:

I think they think dressing fashionably and attractively is good for …

2. The second half of the first sentence goes that others think that clothes are not an important way of spending one’s money and energy. What kind of values or views might this opinion be based on? What is more important than clothes?

Supposed values:

1)    As the saying goes, you cannot judge a book by its cover. What counts more is one’s personality, not what he or she wears. Money and energy should be spent on self-improvement. A good appearance would follow later naturally. For example, …(e.g. IT business CEOs)

2)    Fashion is not eternal. Its trend changes every year. You can gain respect as long as you make yourself look neat and clean enough. We should be focused more on something that lasts forever such as art or science.

For example, …(e.g. By enjoying music, you will share a sense with many people while fashion seldom allows you such experience.)

3)    There are many things that you should be concerned about in life than fashion. Advertisements distract us from important issues and make many of us buy more than what we need. For example, …(e.g. There were no fashion magazines for teenagers some decades ago, while more people are virtually illiterate nowadays than before.)

Your guess:

They might think clothes are not worth spending one’s money and energy based on a value that ….

☆Writing a one-paragraph essay

Let’s write a one-paragraph essay before writing a full essay using the following template.

I think / do not think it is important to spend effort and money to dress fashionably and attractively, because …

For example,

It is true that … 

                           

but …

Therefore,

☆Step 2- B

Writing Topic

Do you agree or disagree that it would be a good and useful thing for many foreigners to study the language of your country? Express your opinion on this question by including specific reasons and examples.

☆Let’s Think

Sample thought process:

What is the purpose of learning a language?

1)    Business

Things would work more smoothly in doing business with some foreign company if you speak their language.

2)    Culture

To learn about some culture, the knowledge of the language is a must, for language is part of culture and plays a very important role in it.

3)    Communication

To understand or make friends with someone, you have to talk with him or her. Without language, communication will be hampered.

In the case of Japanese:

1)    Business

Japan is one of the largest economies in the world. Japanese companies provide employment domestically and internationally. There are many Japanese multinational conglomerates and, with globalization in progress, there are many Japanese firms that are expanding overseas.

⇔ There is more demand for English as the international language. Also, demands for other major languages such as Spanish and Chinese are stronger than that for Japanese.

⇔ It is a niche to be proficient in Japanese since there is a sound demand while competition is low.

2)    Culture

Japan has traditional culture and sub-culture that are loved all over the world.  e.g. healthy traditional food, good service, cool and cute fashion of the young, etc.

⇔ Japanese culture is so famous and wide-spread that there are abundant translations of relevant materials in many languages. Moreover, many people just learn Japanese by being exposed to Japanese sub-culture such as manga, anime, and pop-songs.

⇔ To know the culture really well, learning the language is necessary.

3)    Communication

The number of Japanese who can use English well is small. Thus, there are many opportunities for Japanese-learners to help communication between Japanese and people from other cultures.

⇔ In ten years from now, most young Japanese will be able to have basic conversation in English because of the curriculum change directed by the administration.

⇔ For higher morale and better relationships, proficiency of Japanese is a big plus.

☆Sample conclusion:

♦ Since Japanese is a minor language, there is little need to study it. People who are interested in learning foreign languages should prioritize English and languages of developing countries to help better communication between rich countries and poor countries.

♦It is at least not a bad thing for many people to learn Japanese. Those who love things related to Japan might well learn Japanese. They have nothing to lose while they would be some rare people who can understand us well and work as liaison between Japan and other countries.

☆Writing a one-paragraph essay

Let’s write a one-paragraph essay before writing a full essay using the following template.

I think / do not think it is a good and useful thing for many foreigners to learn the language of my country, because …

For example,

It is true that …    

                        

but …

Therefore,