国際教養学部AO入試 reference, globalization, job loss

Trade creates losers. Here’s how to help them
Addressing hardships requires both redistribution and regulation, writes Swati Dhingra of the London School of Economics

The Economist   May 28th, 2018 
https://www.economist.com/open-future/2018/05/28/trade-creates-losers.-heres-how-to-help-them

TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, The government should provide a national curriculum for all children up until college. - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Consider the following statement. The government should provide a national curriculum for all children up until college. Do you agree with this idea? Support your response by including specific reasons and examples.

☆Let’s Think

Notes

◍ The word “should” is about ideal situations, so the discussion could be purely in theory as in “We should not kill even for self-defense”. The word “should” also means duty, so that the focus of the discussion can be about responsibility as in “The government should support the disadvantaged”. It also means necessity as in “We should exercise caution in changing the whole system.”

◍ In Japan, where we live, there is a national curriculum for all children up until high school. Universities are allowed to decide what to teach by themselves.

1.    Read the sentences below and answer the questions.

a.    May was here up until now.  When did May leave?

b.    May was educated in Japan up until high school. Do you think May went to Japanese high school?

c.     May wants to study up until graduate school. What academic credential does May want?

2.    Discuss in pairs or groups what would happen if there were or were not a national curriculum at each level of education, compulsory education, high school, and college in terms of egalitarianism, freedom, and reflection or individual needs.

	egalitarianism	freedom	regional needs and individual differences
compulsory education
high school
college

3.    Tell your partner of group members whether you agree with the statement or not and why..

☆Hints for Points

Agree:

1.    It is egalitarian. All children can receive adequate general knowledge required today.

2.    Quality of college education will be ensured.

3.    It will strengthen the national power. It is easy to produce a type of workforce needed by the nation.

Disagree:

1.    It will reduce freedom. Possibility of teaching will be limited.

2.    Regional needs and individual differences are not reflected in a national curriculum.

3.    We need an international standard for higher level of education.

             

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction】I cannot entirely agree with the idea that the government should provide a national curriculum for all children up until college. College students should be free and the existing curriculum does not seem to be working very well.

【Point for Agreement】A national curriculum guarantees a certain level of quality of education throughout the nation.

【Point for Disagreement 1】The idea touches the problem of how much the government should control. It is also impossible for the government, or anyone, to know what university students should learn.

【Point for Disagreement 2】The goodness of a national curriculum in itself is questionable.

【Conclusion】On the one hand, curriculum for all up until college under the guidance of the government is egalitarian, but on the other side, it seems unnecessary and unrealistic. Therefore, I cannot totally agree with the idea.

【導入】政府が全ての子供たちのための大学までの国家カリキュラムを提供すべきだという考えには完全には賛成できない。学部生は自由であるべきであり既存のカリキュラムはあまりうまく機能していないように思える。

【賛成理由】国家カリキュラムは国中である水準の質の教育を保証する。

【反対理由 1】この考えは政府がどの程度管理すべきなのかという問題に触れる。また、政府あるいは誰でも学部生が何を学ぶべきかを知るのは不可能だ。

【反対理由 2】国家カリキュラムの良さ自体が疑わしい。

【結論】一方では政府指導の下の全ての人に対する大学までの国家カリキュラムは平等主義だが一方では不要で非現実的の様に思える。従ってこの考えに完全には賛成できない。

☆Essay for Ideas and Expressions

While I think as someone of humble upbringing I should appreciate the fact that my country Japan provides a unified curriculum for all up until high school, although as far as I remember, most of my real learning happened outside of school, and I believe that the officials in the ministry of education, culture, sports, science, and technology are conscientious and sincerely care about our children, I cannot totally agree with the idea that the government should provide a national curriculum for all children up until college. College students should be free and the existing curriculum does not seem to be working.

覚えている限り真の学びは学校外で起こったとはいえ、私の国日本が高校まで全ての人のための統一カリキュラムを提供していることに貧しい育ちの人間として私は感謝すべきだと思うし文部科学省の官僚は良心的で心から子供たちのことを思っていると信じているが、政府が大学まで全ての子供たちのために国家カリキュラムを提供すべきだという考えには完全には賛成できない。学部生は自由であるべきだし既存のカリキュラムはうまくいっていないように思える。

A national curriculum guarantees a certain level of quality of education throughout the nation. This will partly reduce the problem of the regional difference in the quality of education. Although difference of teaching methods will remain as the cause of the educational level gap between regions seriously grappling with education and those that are not, setting the minimum requirement of the class contents will ensure that all nationals will not fail to be taught to what they should know. Therefore, it is good to have a unified curriculum for basic and probably intermediate levels. It might also be true with college. Most universities provide courses in the liberal arts and usually the first half of the college years are spent on the acquisition of the introductory level knowledge of a variety of disciplines prior to or in addition to major subjects. Thus, it might be good for a national standard to raise the level of college education. Also, governmental management of higher-level of education can help secure tax money and faculty for necessary areas of higher education instead of having them at the mercy of vested interests.

国家カリキュラムは国中である水準の教育の質を保証する。これにより教育の質における地域差の問題は部分的に減少する。教授法の違いが教育熱心な地域とそうでない地域の教育水準の差の原因として残っているとはいえ、授業内容の最低限度の要求を設定することにより全国民が知っているべき事を必ず教わることになる。従って初級と恐らく中級レベルの統一カリキュラムがあるのは良いことだ。大学でも当てはまるかもしれない。大抵の大学は一般教養科目を提供しており通常大学前半は専攻科目の前または専攻科目に加えて様々な科目の入門レベルの獲得に費やされる。また、大学教育を大学が管理すれば税金と教授陣を既得権益の思い通りにされる代わりに必要な大学教育分野のために確保するのを助けることができる。

However, unified national curriculum may also have an adverse effect at the advanced level of education. First, the idea touches the problem of how much the government should control. It would be an intervention of the freedom of university. University is supposed to provide a place for voluntary pursuit of intellectual interest. It provides primordial environment for fact-finding and creativity. It ought to be chaotic and unpredictable, the opposite of being under a management. If there were such a government as tries to openly control the learning of the brightest people of the country, it would be the last entity that you would like to live under.

しかし、統一国家カリキュラムはまた大学では逆効果かもしれない。まず、この考えは政府がどの程度管理すべきなのかという問題に触れる。大学の自由の侵害になるだろう。大学は知的関心の自発的追及のための場を提供することになっている。事実の発見と創造のための原初的環境を提供するのだ。混沌として予測不能であるはずであり、管理下にあるのと逆なのだ。もし、国で最も聡明な人々の学びをあからさまに管理しようとする政府があったらその下で最も住みたくない存在だろう。

It is also impossible for the government, or anyone, to know what college students should learn. The above-mentioned unfettered environment for study will contribute to the development and innovation of knowledge and skills. A humanities student would learn higher mathematics for fun and later become a competent manager; a student majoring in French literature would spend all four years reading all kinds of novels day and night would see the limit of the reality depicted in fiction and become an award-winning non-fiction writer of science and politics (a true story); a medical student who happened to be fascinated by Egyptology would work out a new approach to evolutionary anthropology by analyzing DNAs of old remains such as Egyptian mammies or Neanderthals (another true story); or a future leader of an IT giant company would take a Oriental calligraphy course and later draw on the skill in creating new machines, as in the well-known case of Steve Jobs. Let smart people study as they like, and something amazing would come out. It is ridiculous for the government to try to decide what college students should get out of university education.

また、政府あるいは誰でも学部生が何を学ぶべきかを知るのは不可能だ。上記の足かせのない研究環境が知識と技術の発展と革新に貢献する。文系の学生が高等数学を楽しみで学び、のちに有能な部長になるかもしれないし、仏文科の学生が4年間全てを昼夜を問わず全ての種類の小説を読んで過ごし、フィクションにおける現実描写の限界をみて賞を取る政治科学のノンフィクションライターになるだろうし（本当の話）、たまたまエジプト学に魅了された医学部生がエジプト人のミイラやネアンデルタール人のような古い遺体のDNAを分析することによって進化人類学への新しい方法を編み出すだろうし（また本当の話）、あるいはスティーブ・ジョブズの有名な例の様にIT大企業の将来の指導者が東洋の習字コースをとり、後に新しい機械を作る時にその技術を使うだろう。賢い人に好きなように勉強させれば驚くべきものが生まれる。学部生が大学教育から何を得るかを政府が決めるのは馬鹿げている。

Last but not least, the goodness of a national curriculum in itself is questionable. The interests and abilities of people vary, and the unified curriculum may have nothing to do with what many young people are trying to get out of life. What education helps develop is only a fraction of human activities. The present national curriculums, for instance, seem to be the enemy of real learning. Each child is born with a great capacity, but most elementary school children seem to find few subjects attractive, and after toiling all the way up to high school, many people not only fail to acquire anything significant but also develop a inferiority complex about studies. Moreover, even those who seem to like studying will also forget most of what they learn at school in twenty years. This indicates that real learning seldom, if ever, takes place under the present curriculums. Even considering other factors such as teaching methods or the overall environment of education like poverty or the academic achievement-oriented society, bad performance may well be attributed to bad materials, the class contents. The system is not working, and the concept of national curriculum itself may need reviewing.

最後ではあるが同様に重要なのは、国家カリキュラムの良さ自体が疑わしい。人の関心や能力は様々であり、統一カリキュラムは多くの若者が人生から得ようとしているものと何の関係もないかもしれない。教育が発達させるのを助けるのは人間活動のほんのひとかけらだ。例えば現在の国のカリキュラムは真の学びの敵のように思える。子どもはひとりひとり大きな可能性を持って生まれるがほとんどの小学生はほとんどの科目が魅力的だとは思わないように思える。そして高校まで苦労した後、多くの人は何も重要なことを得られないだけでなく勉強への劣等感も持つようになる。更に、勉強が好きなように思える者たちも十年後には学校で習ったことの大半を忘れる。教授法あるいは貧困や学歴偏重社会のような全体的な教育環境などの他の要因を考慮しても悪い業績は悪い材料すなわち授業内容に原因を帰することが十分できるだろう。制度がうまくいっていないのだから国家カリキュラムの概念自体の再考が必要かもしれない。

A national curriculum is egalitarian and most people benefit from it. However, it is a double-edged sword. What is for everyone suits no one. It seems that at least college should be left free, but some college might perform better under governmental guidance. Therefore, I cannot make it clear whether I agree with the idea of a national curriculum for all up until college. It would be nice if there were a system with a wide range of choices that provides a core curriculum for each field with a view to helping maximum development of each individual’s ability from the elementary school to college.

国家カリキュラムは平等主義でほとんどの人は利益を得ている。しかし諸刃の剣でもある。皆のためのものは誰にも合わない。少なくとも大学は自由にさせるべきの様に思えるが、政府の指導の下でよりよい仕事をする大学もあるかもしれない。従って大学までの全ての人のための国家カリキュラムの考えに賛成か反対かを明確にすることはできない。小学校から大学まで各個人の能力の最大限の発達を助けることを念頭に置いた、各分野に核となるカリキュラムを提供する広い選択肢のある制度があったら素敵だろう。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

国際教養学部AO入試 reference, language use, euphemism, Israel and Palestine, media

In America's news headlines, Palestinians die mysterious deaths
Moustafa Bayoumi   The Guardian   May 16th, 2018

"Judging by some stories, it’s almost as if bullets just hang in the air, waiting for Palestinians to walk deliberately into them"
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/may/16/israel-palestine-us-news-headlines-mysterious-deaths?CMP=share_btn_tw

TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, Imagine that you have been given a large area of land to use however you wish. How would you choose to use this land? - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Imagine that you have been given a large area of land to use however you wish. How would you choose to use this land?

☆Let’s Think

l  Question

Which of the following three responses to this writing topic do you think is the least proper? Why?

1)    I would sell it to make money for my studies.

2)    I would build an amusement park on the land.

3)    I would make it a refugee camp which can help refugees (to) become independent.

This writing topic is a hypothetical question with few conditions. It requires us to think about land usage. The word “land usage” often reminds you of investment and you might think of building condominiums on it and making a fortune by renting or selling them. Although this idea might be dealt with from the viewpoint of business economics, it could be considered slightly off the topic in that you do not tackle the core of the question. The core of the question is thinking about a good way to use a huge area of land, which is not just an object of investment but something that provides space, soil, ecological system, the atmosphere above it, life and joy, and many other good things that we can take advantage of.

このライティング・トピックはほとんど条件のない仮説上の質問だ。土地利用について考えることを要求している。「土地利用」という言葉はしばしば投資を思い出させ、マンションを建てて賃貸や売却によりひと財産築くことを思いつくかもしれない。このアイディアは経営学の視点から取り扱うことができるかもしれないが、問の核心に取り組んでいないという点で少し的外れだとみなされるかもしれない。問題の核心は、広大な土地、単なる投資の対象であるだけでなく空間や土壌、生態系、上空の大気、生活と喜び、そして利用できる他の多くの良いことを提供する何かでもある土地の良い使い方を考えることだ。

One idea to answer a hypothetical question with few specific conditions in writing is to draw on your specialty, the thing that you have a lot to write about. It would be easier to come up with a good point if you think of the area that you know well. For example, you could ask yourself such questions as follows in brainstorming for this writing topic: What do I like or what am I concerned about? What is its present situation? How would you use the land to change the present situation? How would you persuade readers to accept the idea?

ライティングにおいて具体的な条件がほとんどない仮説上の質問に答えるためのひとつのアイディアは自分の専門分野、それについて沢山書けることを使うことだ。よく知っている分野について考えれば良い要点を思いつくのがより容易だろう。例えばこのライティング・トピックのブレインストーミング用に以下の様な質問を自問しても良いだろう。自分は何が好きか、あるいは何に関心があるか？その現状はどうだろうか？その現状を変えるためにその土地をどのように使えるだろうか？どうやって読み手にこの考えを受け入れるよう説得するか？

l  Presentation

1.    Make a presentation to your partner or group members on your response to this writing question by answering the following questions.

Note: This question does not mention the cost. Therefore, you do not have to deal with it. In other words, you do not have to worry about whether your idea is financially feasible or not.

1)    What do you like or what are you interested in or what is your concern? 

e.g. I am concerned about the issue of refugees.

2)    What is its present situation? 

e.g. Many kinds of refugees are in desperate situations around the world, especially in Europe.

3)    How would you use the land to change the situation?

e.g. I would make the land a refugee camp which can help refugees (to) become independent.

4)    What is the merit? 

e.g. It would save many lives.

5)    What problem can you expect and how would you address it?

e.g.

a. The local residents might not be happy about accepting refugees, but we accepted some refugees in the past during a refugee crisis in Asia and we can cope with this problem by learning from what we did then.

b. Some refugees might not be happy about living in an environment totally different from that of their homeland, so we should keep in mind that politics must keep working for them to be able to return home as soon as possible.

2.    Ask each other questions about each other’s presentations. This will help (to) make your essays more interesting.

☆Essay for Ideas and Expressions

There would be many wise or innovative uses of a large tract of land, but I would make it a town which is a test case for peaceful coexistence of people and jungle crows. No other birds are so stigmatized as crows, probably in Japan, where I live, in particular. They are regarded as filthy garbage-eaters, spiteful punks, and the sign of death. Yet, if observed carefully and without prejudice, they will turn out to be as likable as dolphins. In fact, some people even call them flying dogs. They could possibly be our best friends in the sky.

大きな土地の賢い使用や革新的な使用は沢山あるだろう。しかし私は人とﾊｼﾌﾞﾄｶﾞﾗｽの平和的共存の試験台の街にするだろう。恐らく私の住む日本ではカラスほど汚名を着せられている鳥はいない。しかし注意深く偏見無しで観察すればイルカと同じくらい好ましいことが分かるだろう。実際カラスを空飛ぶ犬と呼びさえする人もいるのだ。カラスたちは私たちの最良の空の友になり得る。

Jungle crows are the big black birds often seen scattering the contents of garbage bags collected on the sidewalks to find food in many Japanese cities. They used to live in forests and feed on dead animals on the ground. Development replaced trees with buildings and animal bodies with garbage bags. They have been doing the same to survive, nesting on the power poles and eating waste on the ground, but now humans are offended by their routine. People think crows are dirty and dangerous. However, crows bathe a few times a day if possible. Also, crows attack people only when they are near their young, and the worst thing they can do is to swoop and kick from behind, which they rarely actually do because they are afraid of humans. It is true that they remember the face of the person who attacked or threatened them and repeatedly retaliate, but think of their trauma and it is understandable that they do it for self-defense. The biggest stigma that crows bear is the image of death, which probably derives from their color. Surely they eat dead bodies but so do many other creatures, from bacteria to dogs. The fear of the color black is our problem, not theirs. In the eyes of humans on the ground crows on power lines are eerie dark spots in the sky, but seen from high above, they are precious pieces of life shining in purple and green.

ハシブトガラスは多くの日本の都市で食べ物を見つけるために歩道に集められたビニール袋の中身を散らかしているのがよく見られる大きな黒い鳥だ。昔は森にすみ地面の上の死んだ動物を食べて生きていた、開発により木が建物になり動物の死骸がゴミ袋に取って代わった。カラスたちは生き延びるために同じことをやっており、電柱に営巣し地面の無駄なものを食べている。しかし現在では人間はカラスの決まりきった仕事に腹を立てている。カラスは汚くて危険だと思っている。しかしカラスは可能なら一日に数回水浴びをする。また、人がひなの近くにいる時しか攻撃しないし、できる最悪のことは急降下して後ろからけることだが人間が怖いので実際にはめったにやらない。攻撃した人や脅してきた人の顔を覚えており繰り返し仕返ししてくるというのは本当だ。しかしカラスたちのトラウマを考えれば自己防衛のためにやるのは理解できる。カラスが負っている最大の汚名は恐らくその色から来ている死のイメージだ。確かにカラスは死体を食べるが細菌から犬まで他の多くの生き物が死骸を食べる。黒い色に対する恐怖は私たちの問題であってカラスの問題ではない。地上の人間の目には電線に止まったカラスは空の不気味な黒い点だが高みから見ると紫色と緑色に輝くかけがえのない命のかけらなのだ。

Although loathed, crows are well known to be very smart, affectionate, and remarkable birds. They store their food in hundred to several thousand places and remember them. They use their calls for their communication and use and, at least one species, make tools. Sometimes, their behavior cannot be explained by any other words but play. There are reports of crows repeatedly sliding down the slide or snow slope or hanging upside down from the power line. Also, jungle crows mimic many kinds of things such as human words or machine noises. They cherish their mates and babies. There are many reports that crows grieve the death of other crows. I myself know a jungle crow which missed its mate for at least three years. It made the saddest voice I have ever heard when its mate suddenly disappeared. One of the most striking things about crows is their eyes and ears. As they can see ultraviolet like other birds, they can spot a very small thing from high above. Above all, they should be appreciated for their role as scavengers getting rid of things people do not want to see lying on the ground such as a dead mouse. They hear what we cannot hear. Now you might find this bird a little more interesting than before, if not wishing to make friends with it.

嫌われてはいるが、カラスはとても賢くて愛情深く注目すべき鳥であることはよく知られている。100か所から1000か所に貯食し覚えている。鳴き声をコミュニケーションに使用し少なくともひとつの種は道具を作る。時として彼らの行動は遊びという言葉以外では説明できない。滑り台や雪の坂を何度も滑り降りるカラスや電線から逆さにぶら下がるカラスの報告がある。またﾊｼﾌﾞﾄｶﾞﾗｽは人間の言葉や機械音の様な様々なものを真似る。つがいの相手と子供を大切にする。他のカラスの死を悼むという報告が多数ある。私自身連れを少なくとも三年哀悼していたカラスを知っている。連れが突然いなくなった時そのカラスは私が今まで聞いた中で最も悲しい声を出した。カラスについて最も驚くべきことのひとつはその目と耳だ。紫外線が見えるので高所から非常に小さなものを見つけることができる。私たちが聞こえない音を聞く。何よりも死んだネズミの様な地面に転がっているのを人が見たくないものを処分するごみ処理人としての役割を感謝されるべきなのだ。さて、あなたは前よりはこの鳥が少し面白いと思うかもしれない。友達になりたいとは思わなくても。

In my opinion, it is a shame that we do not have good relationships with jungle crows, these charming and interesting birds that happen to live closest to us, and here comes my model town for both jungle crows and humans. This town would have several parks full of tall trees, to which the garbage the residents produce would be sent. Since jungle crows are originally from forests and tend to live where food is abundant, it can be easily expected that they would stay in the parks most of the time. Thus, they would never litter the streets. Moreover, the cost of waste incineration would be reduced and so would CO2 emissions. Humans can enter the parks and enjoy nature anytime except for crows’ breeding season. My wildest dream is to have crows participate in rescue operations. For their ability to fly a long distance and high cognitive level, not to mention the great eyesight and hearing, they could make good rescue crows. Of course to protect animal rights, only those that are willing and having the aptitude would be given the missions. I actually know a crow that is eligible for it. Like humankind, crows also have some individuals that seek for challenge and bond.

私の考えではたまたま私たちの近くに住んでいるこれらの魅力的で興味深い鳥たちであるﾊｼﾌﾞﾄｶﾞﾗｽと良い関係にないのは残念なことだ。そこでﾊｼﾌﾞﾄｶﾞﾗｽと人間両方の為のモデルタウンだ。この街は高い木でいっぱいの公園がいくつかありそこに住民の出す生ごみが送られる。ﾊｼﾌﾞﾄｶﾞﾗｽは元々森林が起源であり食べ物が豊富な場所に住む傾向があるので大抵の場合公園内にいることが容易に想像できる。従って道路を決して汚さないだろう。さらにごみ焼却のコストが下がり二酸化炭素排出量も下がるだろう。人間はカラスの子育て期間以外はいつでも公園に入って自然を楽しむことができる。私の途方もない夢はカラスに救助活動に参加させることだ。すごい視力と聴力はいうまでもなく長距離を飛ぶ能力と高い認知水準のゆえに良い救助烏になれるだろう。もちろん動物の権利を守るため、意欲があり適性があるものだけが任務を与えられるだろう。私は実際この任務の資格があるカラスを知っている。人類の様にカラスもまた挑戦と絆を求める個体がいるのだ。

I once saw a jungle crow perched on a power line entertaining a dog down in a garage. The dog, wagging its tail and jumping around in the small space, looked quite happy to see its friend with wings. The scene reflected their positions in this world, for one is confined and the other free. Crows could have been domesticated long ago since their cleverness must have been noticed by our ancestors, but they have not. I feel, with no offence to dogs, that crows know what dignity is and keep a distance from humans. They are hated but live proudly. They are sensitive enough to feel the pain of life, yet they won't give up on life and can do without such things as hope or dream or religion. Perhaps we could learn something important from them by living more intimately to them than now.

かつて電線に止まったﾊｼﾌﾞﾄｶﾞﾗｽが下のガレージの中にいる犬を楽しませているのを見たことがある。羽のある友達を見て犬はその小さな空間内でしっぽを振りながら飛び回りとてもうれしそうに見えた。この情景はこの世界における彼らの位置を反映していた。というのは一方は閉じ込められており他方は自由だからだ。私たちの祖先はカラスの賢さに気付いたに違いないのでずっと昔に家畜化もできただろう。でもしていない。犬には失礼かもしれないがカラスは尊厳とは何かを知っており人間との距離を置いているという気がする。カラスは嫌われているが誇り高く生きている。生の痛みを感じるほど十分感受性があるが生を決してあきらめず希望や夢や宗教のようなものなしでやってゆける。たぶん私たちは彼らと今よりもっと親密に生活することによって彼らから何か重要なことを学ぶことができるかもしれない。

(Some of the information about crows included in this essay are taken from Karasu no Kyokasho by Hajime Matsubara) （このエッセイに含まれるカラスに関する情報のいくつかは松原始の「カラスの教科書」からとられた。）

Pre-TOEFL Writing, Which is more important for success: the natural ability you are born with or hard work? - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Which is more important for success: the natural ability you are born with or hard work? Explain your opinion, using specific reasons and examples.

生まれつきの能力と勤勉のどちらが成功にとってより重要ですか？具体的な理由と例を使って意見を説明してください。

☆Let’s Think

考えてみよう。

What is success? Perhaps it means achieving an above average goal like winning a difficult game or becoming rich. It also may mean becoming a respectable adult. How are these two words, the natural ability you are born with and hard work, related to success? Thinking of some so called successful people would help answer this question. For example, Barak Obama and Muhammad Ali are probably two of many successful people who were born with great abilities and worked hard as well. Which of these two factors were more important in their success?

成功とは何だろう。たぶん困難な試合で優勝するとかお金持ちになるような平均より上の目標を達成することを意味する。また立派な大人になることを意味するかもしれない。生まれつきの能力と勤勉というこれら二つの言葉はどのように成功と関係があるのだろう。いわゆる成功している人たちを思い浮かべることはこの質問に答える助けとなるだろう。例えばバラク・オバマとモハメッド・アリは恐らく素晴らしい能力を持って生まれ一生懸命に働きもした多くの成功者の中の二人だろう。これら二つの要因のどちらが彼らの成功においてより重要だったのだろう？

☆Hints for Points

要点のヒント

Natural Ability 生まれつきの能力

1.    It is often the case that a genius grows up in the worst environment

最悪の環境内で天才が育つということがよくある。

2.    Success owes largely to luck, and heredity is part of luck.

成功は運に大いに負っている。そして遺伝は運の一部だ。

Hard Work 勤勉

1.    Competitions are held among talented people, of whom one working hardest will win. e.g. athletes

才能のある人々の間で競争が行われる。彼らの中で最も努力したものが勝つ。 例 運動家

2.     There are more elements that can be improved by efforts in achieving success than those determined by nature.

成功を果たす時に、生まれつきによって決定される要素よりも努力によって改善できる要素の方が多い。

☆Sample Essay Structures

エッセイ構成例

Sample 1

【Introduction = Outline】In my opinion, genetic factor is the most important in success.

【Point 1】Successful people appear in all social classes in any kind of society.

【Point 2】Each person is born with a talent in a certain area and nurturing the talent properly will lead to success.

【Counterargument-treatment】Of course, to win a competition, hard work is necessary, but when two people make the same amount of effort, the more talented one will win.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】 Rather than sanctifying diligence, we had better know ourselves and try to make the best of given conditions for a better and happier life.

【導入＝概要】私の意見では遺伝的要因が成功においては最も重要だ。

【要点 1】成功者はどんな社会においても全ての階層において現れる。

【要点2】各自がある分野の才能を持って生まれておりその才能を適切に育む

ことが成功につながる。

【反論処理】もちろん競争に勝つために勤勉は必要だが二人が同じ努力をした場合才能がより多くある方が勝つ。

【結論＝まとめ】 より良くより幸福な人生のために、勤勉を神聖視するよりむしろ自分を知って与えられた条件から最善のものを得ようとした方が良い。

Sample 2

【Introduction = Outline】The question of “nature or nurture” in terms of success is an age-old inquiry. Personally, I think hard work plays a larger role in success than innate ability.

【Point 1】 The tale of the rabbit and the turtle teaches us that a hard worker can beat a talented opponent in the end.

【Point 2】Gifted people do not seem to make efforts, but actually they do. They just enjoy hard work and often do not realize that they might be working twice as much as the others.

【Counterargument-treatment】In sports and art, innate quality counts a lot, but no person with inherent ability can be successful without working hard.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】 I believe industriousness is more important for success than heredity.

【導入＝概要】成功における「生まれか育ちか」の問いは昔からある問だ。個人的には、生得の能力よりも勤勉が成功においてより大きな役割を果たすと思う。

【要点1】ウサギと亀の物語は勤勉なものが最後には才能ある対戦相手を倒すということを私たちに教える。

【要点2】才能のある人は努力していないように思えるが実際にはしている。彼らは単に勤勉を楽しみ他人の2倍働いているかもしれないことに気付かないことがよくある。

【反論処理】スポーツや芸術においては生得の資質が大いに重要だ。しかし生まれつき能力のある人で努力しないで成功できる人はいない。

【結論＝まとめ】遺伝よりも勤勉さの方が成功にとってより重要だと信じる。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

単語メモ： 成功する achieve success   succeed in ～   be successful

生まれつきの才能  talent   natural ability  innate ability  inherent ability  ability that one is born with

勤勉 hard work（名詞句） working hard（動名詞句） diligence  industriousness

Cf. work hardly ほとんど勉強しない

☆Sample Paragraph Development

A.

【Main Idea】That fact that successful people appear in all social classes in any kind of society seems to show talent is more decisive in success than habit of making efforts.

【Supporting Details】It is well-known that people born in rich families are usually well-disciplined and hard-working. If you are born in a poor family, you do not even think that making efforts will give you a chance to be successful. They believe that they are not in the game. Thus, the rich are more likely to be successful than the poor in general. It is very hard to break this law. Nevertheless, there are people who make it. Their phenomenal power leads them to success surpassing all the hard-working but less talented people. Also, poor people tend to be more successful in the area where talent is necessary such as sports and art than in the area where efforts count more than talent such as academic studies. In the former, genius can overcome the delayed start of making efforts while in the latter, it is hard for talent to overcome the handicap of late start, which is a social factor.

【Conclusion】In the absence of the social factor, talent would always beat efforts in success.  

【主張】成功者はどんな社会においても全ての階層において現れるという事実は、努力する習慣よりも才能の方が成功において決定的だということを示しているように思える。

【詳細】お金持ちの家庭に生まれた人は通常規律が良く勤勉であることはよく知られている。貧しい家庭に生まれると努力が成功の機会を与えると思いさえしない。自分たちは成功の可能性はないのだと信じている。従って一般的にお金持ちの方が貧しい人より成功しがちだ。この法則を打ち負かすのはとても難しい。にもかかわらずやってのける人たちがいる。彼らの驚異的な力が全ての勤勉だが才能で劣る人を追い越して彼らを成功に導くのだ。また、貧しい人はスポーツや芸術のような才能が必要な分野での方が学問研究の様な才能より努力の方がより重要な分野でよりもより成功する傾向がある。前者では天才が努力の開始の遅れを克服することが可能だが後者では才能が開始の遅れと言うハンディキャップを克服するのが困難であり、これは社会的要因だ。

【結論】社会的要因がなければ、成功において常に才能は努力を負かすだろう。

B.

【Main Idea】There are more elements that can be improved by efforts in achieving success than those determined by nature.

【Supporting Details】For example, actors have to have ability to attract people. This is mostly what they are born with. However, they also have to be able to speak clearly, act properly, and control themselves well to succeed. They also need to have general knowledge, especially that related to culture. These are what they learn by everyday practice. Only those who are able to do all of them can be professional actors. The same can be said in other areas, too.

【Conclusion】Success results from many factors and talent is only one of these factors.

【主張】成功を果たす時に、生まれつきによって決定される要素よりも努力によって改善できる要素の方が多い。

【詳細】例えば、俳優は人を引き付ける能力がなくてはならない。これは主に生まれつきだ。しかしまた活舌をよくし適切に演じうまく自制ができなくてはならない。一般常識、特に文化関連の常識も必要だ。これらは日々の実践により学習することだ。これら全てができる人だけがプロの俳優になることができる。同じことは他の分野にも言える。

【結論】成功は多くの要因の結果であり、才能はこれらの要因のひとつにすぎない。

(I took the core idea used in the last sample from an essay written by one of my former students. 最後の例の中心となるアイディアは過去の生徒さんのエッセイから取りました、)