Supersonic/Electronic Weapon 不特定多数による長期にわたる原因不明の嫌がらせ（６）

2012/04/17 (Tue) Went to bed around 1:50 Slept from 2:00-7:30 (5.5 hrs).
1:50-for several minutes several e-shocks + huffing caused by a shock
7:30 the game/car-like noise woke me up

Silent prayer for my mother’s third week after her death in the train on my way to work.

Had two lessons (17:00-a little before 21:00) at Yotsuya. Left school a little past 21:00, got to my station about 10 past 22:00, bought food, and got home around 22:30.

On my way back, in the subway (Hanzomon-line),I jumped out of the seat when a man sat next to me. All I could see was the male body in a suit and the cell-phone, and the quick movement. He looked like a good man, and I regretted escaping him like a cockroach. I even thought of going back to the seat, but my body did not move. I think it was because I had encountered more numbers of abusers and had been annoyed a lot. Trusting and letting a male sit right next to me, without any space in between, is still very difficult for me to do. I am sorry anyway…It was not you but my experience of nasty Japanese males, ……well maybe I should say MAINLY Japanese males to be a pacifist but definitely and accurately MAINLY Japanese males….., that made me avoid you… (Till recently, I couldn’t tell the difference between Mongolian peoples in my country Japan: Japanese, Koreans, and Chinese, probably Mongolians sometimes. But now I can tell some from the others because they have some lovely character…:) And I cannot find in my memory people like them among those who used to relentlessly and sadistically harass me both individually and in groups till recently.)

Before and after I got up avoiding the probably innocent male, there was a male who kept looking at me with the evil smile, looking into my eyes whenever he had a chance to. He was in his 50s, middle height for his generation and middle weight, wore a suit, looked like an office worker, and was with his wife. He kept talking euphorically for rather a long time till he noticed all the others were quiet. Then at one station came in a fat male and stood in front of me facing me unnaturally close to me with a lap top opened. That first male became alive again and seemed to savor watching me. His euphoria lasted another several stations. A few stops before Oshiage, the station where many people including me get off, he coughed loudly, which action many males, sometimes females, used to take before harassers’ “corporation” started. Tonight, nobody reacted. At Oshiage, the male stood in front of the door opposite the point where I was standing. As I watched him get off and walk toward the escalator on the platform, he kept wearing a wondering face, as if saying to himself that something was wrong while there was nothing wrong with him. He was 99 % a Japanese, or a Chinese. He looked like a good-for-nothing relative of the Chinese President now, three or four of whom I see every day. （誰か私の毒舌を止められる方、付き合ってください。Somebody who can stop my sharp tongue, be my man, please.）


Note: 2012/03/04 and 2012/04/15 are the days when I saw the “real lovers of violence and humiliation.”