TOEFL iBT Independent Essay The reason why actors/lawyers/tour guides are important to my society -partly rewritten-

Writing Topic:

Many different jobs are important to society for different reasons. Select one of these jobs and explain why you think that job is helpful to your society: 1) actor, 2) lawyer, 3) tour guide.

                           

☆Let’s Think

This topic has two directions. The first direction is “Select one of these jobs,” so you are supposed to choose one of the three jobs given at the end of the topic. The next direction is to explain how you think your society benefits from the job you have chosen. You are not required to compare the three jobs, and neither are you required to choose the most important. The topic just says, “Choose one and explain why it is important to your society?” Note the first sentence of this topic: Many different jobs are important to society for different reasons. This means that you cannot say a certain job is more important than another in many cases; each job has its own significance. From this, we can infer that comparing the importance of these three jobs is not the point of this topic.

♦The questions of the same type

TOEFL Writing Topics of the same type as this one are as follows:

(1)  Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives.  • automobiles   • bicycles   • airplanes

(2)  Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources, such as forests, animals, or clean water. Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved.

♦Similar but different types of questions

Now, here are question patterns that look similar to but different from that of today’s topic:

(3)  A friend of yours has received some money and plans to use all of it either

• to go on vacation   • to buy a car

Your friend has asked you for advice. Compare your friend’s two choices and explain which one you think your friend should choose.

(4)  What do you want most in a friend — someone who is intelligent, or someone who has a sense of humor, or someone who is reliable? Which one of these characteristics is most important to you?

Question (3) requires you to compare the choices, and to answer Question (4), you have to choose the one you think the most important.

The following type of question is also a different kind from the topic of this week:

(5)  You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy?

To answer this question, you need to compare the choices even though you are not required to because of the given condition: to spend a large amount of money on either of the two choices. This automatically requires you to compare them before making your choice.

☆Hints for points

An actor …

♦helps you learn about people, life, and the world.

-- by participating in a movie on something special like a historical event or a personal experience (e.g. Apocalypse Now, Awakening, Citizen Kane, Fahrenheit 911, etc.)

♦helps develop your imagination and creativity, which helps make life more enjoyable with visions about the past, present, and future, or helps become a creative person like an artist, scientist, or entrepreneur.

-- by helping you experience a life which is totally different from yours or a fictional life that are often more real than a real life (e.g. Shawshank Redemption, Star Wars-based on many kinds of mythologies and folklores, love story, etc.)

♦helps you release stress.

 -- by playing amazing roles (Spiderman, Titanic, History of the World Part 1, etc.)

A lawyer …

♦protects one’s rights.

-- by giving advice on what claim one can make and preparing for the law suit (e.g. unfair trial, improper dismissal, copy rights, violation of privacy, minority crime cases, etc.)

♦can shed light on serious issues in society and help make a difference.

-- by taking up a case influential to society (e.g. damages causes by pollution, women’s rights, death penalty, neglect of the government, etc.)

A tour guide …

♦helps people experience different places and cultures safely and easily.

-- by assisting tourists make the most of their tour (e.g. giving information, translating languages, making arrangements for tourists, etc.)

♦works as a citizen diplomat.

-- by assisting in mutual understanding (e.g. helping tourists and the people in the place they are visiting communicate with each other, leaving good impression of the people and the country in tourists’ minds and vice versa, etc.)

☆Paragraph development

A paragraph of the body of an essay often develops its main idea as follows:

【Main Idea】 (主張)

【Explanation】 (主張の説明)

【Detail / Example in general】 (一般的な例)

【More Specific Detail / Example】 (より具体的な例)

【Conclusion】 (結論)

♦Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】 (主張)

Lawyers protect our rights.

【Explanation】 (主張の説明) 

With their knowledge about laws, they fight against unjust treatments of individuals.

【Detail / Example in general】 (一般的な例)

For example, a lawyer can give advice on what claim one can make and will prepare for the law suit.

【More Specific Detail / Example】 (より具体的な例)

If there is an employee whose contract has been terminated for no reason, the lawyer will find the evidence of the wrongdoing of the client’s former employer and will represent him in filing a law suit against the company.

【Conclusion】 (結論)

In this way, the lawyer helps one protect one’s fundamental human right, right to pursue happiness in this case, and helps one get one’s job back or get compensated for the damage caused by the dismissal.

Note: Start with a short and simple sentence and elaborate on the idea in the next one: a simple main idea (topic sentence) and a longer explanation, and a simple example and a more specific example or two. Of course starting with the main idea with expressions for transition like “Another good thing about having a TV set in your room is that” or “Last but not the least” is a good idea and these expressions can sometimes be long and complicated, but the core of the main idea should be short and simple so that you can make the point clearly. Very often, we lose our point by being particular about details at the beginning of the paragraph, so, if you are not the type that can produce a perfect work just by typing what comes up to your mind, I would recommend making it simple first and focus on the details later. A main idea (topic sentence) is the pillar of the paragraph to which you attach other parts (details). Making it straight and firm would be safe in an academic test writing.

Your test paragraph development

Now let’s practice paragraph development. Choose one of the reasons you have come up with, make it the main idea, and develop it using the following form. As this is a tentative part of your real essay, use simple words and sentences for supporting details and focus on the logic and ideas.

【Main Idea】 (主張)

【Explanation】 (主張の説明)

【Detail / Example in general】 (一般的な例)

【More Specific Detail / Example】 (より具体的な例)

【Conclusion】 (結論)