Class Supplement, TOEFL Essay, A new product I would like to invent - partly rewritten-

Writing Topic

Suppose you were an inventor and you had the knowledge and ability to develop a new product. What product would you like to invent?

☆Let’s think

This topic starts with “Suppose you were …” This means that you can use your imagination and write about things that would not really be possible. You could write about a medicine that would stop American politicians from accepting donations from large corporations and doing favor to them while punishing the poor, or you could write about a totally clean and safe reusable energy source. You can also write about an application program which would tell you how the person you are communicating with is feeling and what you should or should not say or do in the situation.

Chances are that if you think of an idea related to the matter you know well, you can easily develop your thoughts because you are always thinking about the matter and thus have many things to say about it, putting them into words well.

If you are a political person, you might think of a product that can solve one of the biggest problems in today’s politics. If you are always concerned about your relationships, you could write about a machine that can detect and fix your weak character related to relationships.

Of course, if you are a really creative person, go ahead and make a real approach as an inventor and eloquently describe what the product would be like and what benefits you would have with it. Write about a spaceship for Mars and its mission, a contact lens computer screen, or a nano-sized computer chip.

Also, if you are a really imaginative thinker, you can write in great detail about what changes a purely fictitious product could cause. For example, you might choose Doraemon’s Wherever Door and envision what people would do with it and what boons and problems would ensue.

But, if you are like me, neither creative nor imaginative, and given that you are taking a test, not a creative writing class, it would be safe to think of a thing related to the area of your interest in order to write a satisfactory essay, for it is almost impossible to write in a short time, 30 minutes, about things that you do not really know of or to picture an imaginary world that you usually do not live in.

☆Note

Whatever product you might come up with, it is important that you explain why you would like to make the product. What you are going to write in the TOEFL writing section is supposed to be an academic essay, and you are required to show how well you can logically explain the reason for your idea. Therefore, focusing well on explaining the problems that you want to solve or the changes that you would like to make would be a good idea. The reason for your idea should be your insight about things around you, society, or the universe. The product itself might be regarded as a symbol of the theme of your essay.

In some cases, describing the product in detail is also important. If you are writing about something only in your head, no one else can see it, so it is necessary for you to paint a clear picture of it for the reader, the rater of your essay.

☆How to structure the essay for this type of topic

The basic essay structure is as follows:

【Main Idea = Outline】

【Reason 1】

【Reason 2】

【Reason 3 / Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Note: A counterargument is an expected rebuttal. Taking up a counterargument when necessary is important to get a higher score. Deal with a counterargument in an appropriate part of a paragraph or use a whole paragraph to deal with it.

However, for this type of question, you can often think of only one reason, the problem you want to solve. Then what else should be written in the body? Well, the body is for the details of your idea, so things necessary to convey your idea should all be in the body. Therefore, the body can include not only the problem you want to solve but also how you would like to solve the problem, or what the product would be like, and what results would be expected. Picture yourself making a presentation on your plan for a new product. The flow of the thought is as follows:

1)    Here is the problem. 

2)    I would solve the problem by inventing a product which can do this.

3)    Then the result would be this way.

To prepare for structuring your essay, answer some of the following questions.

1.    What is the problem?

2.    How you would solve the problem?

3.    What can the product do?

4.    What would change?

5.    Who would benefit from the invention?

☆Making the framework of the full essay

Now let’s make the framework of your full essay, using the answers above. You do not have to write in full sentences. Writing down key words and expressions is fine. You can use them as the main ideas for your full essay.

Sample framework

【Main Idea = Outline】

a machine that can resolve CO2 into carbon and oxygen, making carbohydrate

to tackle the problems of global warming and food security.

【Point 1】Reducing CO2 is the top priority in the climate change issue.

【Point 2】Making carbohydrate could contribute to stabilization of food security.

【Point 3】Making diamonds from CO2 would do more harm than good.

Reusable energy sources will not be in place soon.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】a machine that can make food using CO2 in the air

Your framework

【Main Idea = Outline】

I would like to invent a machine that can　…

because …

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Essay for ideas and expressions

If making such a thing were possible, I would make a product which can resolve carbon dioxide into oxygen and carbon, producing carbohydrate as a by-product of the process at a relatively low cost so that people can tackle the problems related to global warming in two ways: CO2 reduction and food security stabilization.

Reducing the amount of greenhouse gasses, especially CO2, is the top priority in the climate change issue. If there were a machine which can resolve CO2 into two harmless substances like oxygen and carbon, it could safely and directly reduce the amount of CO2 that already exists in the atmosphere and drastically reduce CO2 emissions. We could install the device on top of buildings and mountains, in thesmokestacks of factories, and the exhaust pipes of vehicles.

Carbohydrate is the source of energy. Therefore, making carbohydrate as a by-product of CO2 reduction process could contribute to stabilization of food security. Global warming, combined with population increase and rapidly rising standard of living as a result of globalization, is worsening the problem of food shortage. For example, because of rising temperature, flora and fauna in each area on this planet have been changing and affecting agriculture. Farmers are starting to have difficulty growing the same crops in the same ways as in the past. Studies on new types of crops more suitable to new weather patterns are devastatingly behind the speed of climate change and governments have not seriously started funding these studies. The number of inundated fields due to rising sea level or flood is increasing, and water shortage caused by desertification, extremely rapid thawing of glacier, or drought caused by climate change is already happening. It is clear that many parts of the world will have more difficulty providing people with enough food. Carbohydrate made from the air, which might need less water to make and which, unlike carbohydrate originating from plants, could be provided on a regular bases, might be a great help when this problem ensues.

I might have considered designing the device to make diamonds, which are also made of carbon, instead of carbohydrate. However, diamonds cannot help counter the imminent threat we face now. Moreover, they could cause conflicts, for human greed has no limit. Although putting reusable energy sources in place is the best thing to do, implementing them seems to be hopelessly behind the rate of the rise in average global temperature and its effects.

It would be nice if we could make food using CO2 in the air. Therefore I would like to invent a machine that can break CO2 into carbon and oxygen if I had the knowledge and ability.