TOEFL, iBT, Independent Writing, Do you think it is more worthwhile for the government to spend money on primary education or on college education? - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Do you think it is more worthwhile for the government to spend money on primary education or on college education? Support your response by including specific reasons and examples.

☆Let’s think

The expression “worthwhile for the government” means that the institution that manages the politics of the country will benefit. What kind of people will benefit a government? Productive people will definitely benefit the government. Which will make a government have a more productive population, spending money on children or college students?

Used at the end of the question of this writing topic is the word “college education”, not university or university studies. Thus the word “college education” in this question means the first four years of the highest education. It does not mean the top-notch research and development conducted by the professors and graduate students, one of the two main functions of a university. The other of the two functions is college education.

☆Ideas and Expressions

Primary education

1.    The primary level of education is crucial to later education. To raise individuals who can think and solve problems proactively, good teachers and facilities are indispensable. Thus spending money on children would benefit the government in the long run. Dr. Koshiba, a Nobel laureate of physics, says that children should be taught science by people who themselves love science and know what they are doing, like university students, in order for children to see how fun it is to learn science.

2.    To narrower the gap between the rich and the poor, which is part of the cause of health and social problems of a country, more money should go to primary education, because there the gap is largest in terms of opportunity of receiving a good education. College students are those who have already proved themselves to be elites and have some advantages because of the status.

3.    To find talents that otherwise would be missed, primary education should be subsidized more. Shusaku Endo, a Japanese Catholic author, wrote in his essay that he feels like crying when he happens to see someone who is so smart that he could have become a distinguished man had he received a proper education in his childhood doing some menial job.

4.    If a long term profit of the country is the base of the decision, tax money should be allocated to primary schools to raise the intelligence level of the larger number of people. Good workforce is the foundation of a good society. In this sense, especially in the case of a developing country, where most people are illiterate, and a small country without resources other than humans like Japan, where I live, spending money on primary education seems to be essential.

College education

1.    If the country needs good ideas as soon as possible, it seems more worthwhile to spend money on college education than it is to do it on primary education. The United States, the richest country in the world, spends abundant money on college education while keeps reducing costs on primary education. The country panders to smart people, so that they pay it back with great inventions and innovations. The result is that, while a large percentage of the population cannot comprehend most news articles and are short of general knowledge, the country has the largest number of patents in the world.

2.    To revolutionize the whole education system, a government should start with the higher education. To produce teachers and leaders who can help others learn to think instead of trying to teach unilaterally, governments should subsidize universities to help them change their educational concept and put their ideas into practice.

☆Sample Body Structures

Sample Body Structure 1

【Merits of Supporting Primary Education】

【Merits of Subsidizing College Education】

【Why Either should be More Prioritized than the Other】

Sample Body Structure 2

【Merits of Subsidizing College Education】

【Merit of Supporting Primary Education 1】

【Merit of Supporting Primary Education 2】

Sample Body Structure 3

【Merits of Supporting Primary Education】

【Merit of Subsidizing College Education 1】

【Merit of Subsidizing College Education 2】

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】