2017年9月25日月曜日

Pre-TOEFL writing, When famous people such as actors, athletes and rock stars give their opinions, many people listen. Do you think we should pay attention to these opinions? . - rewrite -

Writing Topic
When famous people such as actors, athletes and rock stars give their opinions, many people listen. Do you think we should pay attention to these opinions? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer


Hints for Points
1.    Celebrities raise awareness of important issues and make changes.
有名人は重要な問題への意識を喚起し改革を起こす。
2.    Issues taken up by famous people are usually very important.
有名人が取り上げる問題は通常非常に重要。
3.    Most famous people follow the status quo and what they say could be wrong.
ほとんどの有名人は現状に従うので発言が間違っている可能性がある。
4.    Endorsement by stars could be used to manipulate public opinions.
スターの支持は世論操作に使われるかもしれない。

Sample Development
1. Celebrities raise awareness of important issues and make changes. They have the power to mobilize large numbers of people in a short time. Since their admirers follow them through such media as SNS, when they mention something and call for an action through such media, the comments will be shared by people and lead to some positive results. Angelina Jolie has used her fame to support poor people in Africa. Leonardo DiCaprio actively tries to alert the world to climate change whenever possible. The 49ers quarterback, Colin Kaepernick, contributed to attention to police brutality and all the discrimination against black people in the U.S. by refusing to stand up but instead kneeling down during national anthem and the news made people of all walks of life all over the world think about the problem and the importance of taking a stand. Many stars are taking advantage of their status for good causes and we should listen to them.
有名人は重要な問題への意識を喚起し改革を起こす。短期間で多数を動員する力がある。崇拝者がSNSのようなメディアを通してフォローしているので彼らがメディアを通して何かに言及し行動を求めるとコメントが人々にシェアされ肯定的な結果になる。(アンジェリーナ・ジョリー→アフリカの貧困対策、レオナルド・ディカプリオ→温暖化対策、コリン・キャパニック→アメリカの警察の暴力と黒人差別の訴え)多くのスターが良い運動のために地位を活用しており我々は耳を傾けるべきだ。

2. Most famous people follow the status quo and what they say could be wrong. They live on their exposure to the mainstream media, which depend on sponsors. Thus, they consciously or unconsciously conform to the people in power. For example, when a documentary film maker Michael Moore blamed President George W. Bush for having a fictitious war, meaning that the Iraq War was based on a false reason, at the Academy Award ceremony, almost all participants booed him and accused him of being “unpatriotic”, but before long, Michael Moore proved right. There were no weapons of mass distraction in Iraq and it turned out that Bush administration had wanted to attack Iraq since 9.11 not for war on terrorism but for oil. Few celebrities, just like mainstream media, mention it even today. As this example shows, it is necessary to make an educated guess on whether to pay attention to opinions given by famous people.
ほとんどの有名人は現状に従うので発言が間違っている可能性がある。彼らは主要メディアに曝されることで生活しており、メディアはスポンサーに頼っている。従って意識的・無意識的に権力のある人たちに合わせる。(ドキュメンタリー映画監督のマイケル・ムーアがアカデミー賞授賞式でブッシュ大統領を嘘の戦争をしている(イラク戦争は嘘の理由に基づいている)と言って非難した時、参加者のほぼ全員がブーイングし非国民だと非難したが、まもなくマイケルムーアだ正しかったことが分かった。(イラクに大量破壊兵器はなく、ブッシュ政権は9.11直後からテロではなく石油のためにイラクを攻めたがっていたことが明らかになった。)現在そのことに言及する有名人は主要メディア同様ほとんどいない)有名人の意見に注目すべきかどうかについては、知識に裏付けられた推測をすることが必要だ。

Your Sample Essay Structure                                       
Introduction = Outline

Point 1

Point 2

Point 3 / Follow-up

Conclusion = Wrap-up


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