TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, What we are taught in school greatly affects the way we perceive the world. Do you agree or disagree with this idea? - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Consider the following statement. What we are taught in school greatly affects the way we perceive the world. Do you agree or disagree with this idea? Support your response by including specific reasons and examples.

☆Let’s think

Analyzing the statement can help brainstorming. Fill in the blanks or answer the following questions.

Question 1 What is “the way we perceive the world”?

I think “the way we perceive the world” is our ______________________.

Question 2 What are we taught in school and how do they affect the way we perceive the world?

e.g. what we are taught in school: history, ethics, languages, discipline, democracy, , cooperation, etc.

Physical education teaches us that physically advantageous people are made much of in this world.

Question 3 What else affect the way we perceive the world? Why?

I think __________________( e.g. family, friends, community, media, work place, etc.) also affect the way we perceive the world because                                                                          .

Question 4 Compared to other things that you listed in question 3, can you say that what we are taught in school GREATLY affect the way we perceive the world?

e.g. Yes, because education is given during the critical years in mind development. / No, because school is only a part of life.

Question 5 Are there any objective evidences that prove or disprove the statement?

Evidences that prove the statement:

e.g.

◍The fact that issues on school textbooks are taken seriously and make news indicates that what are taught in school is significant in one’s world view. (e.g. war crimes in the past, recommended language education, territorial issues,  etc.)

学校教科書に関する問題が真剣にとらえられニュースになるという事実は学校で教えられることが人の世界観において重要だということを示している。（例 過去の戦争犯罪、奨励される言語教育、領土問題等）

◍Fundamental political ideas of the states are taught at school and people believe them. (e.g. living god in the Imperial Japan, communism, democracy, etc.)

国家の根本的な政治思想は学校で教えられ人々はそれを信じる。（例 大日本帝国の現人神、共産主義、民主主義等）

Evidences that disprove the statement:

e.g.

◍Virtues taught in school are treated as idealistic notions and ignored in the real world. (e.g. 〔cooperation < competition〕,〔helping the needy < the law of the jungle〕,〔equality < discrimination〕, etc.)

学校で教えられる美徳は現実社会においては理想主義的な考えとして扱われ無視される。（例 〔協力＜競争〕、〔困っている人を助ける＜弱肉強食〕、〔平等＜差別〕等）

◍The acquisition of one’s mother tongue is done by six years of age and language is related to thought and culture. Therefore, one’s fundamental world view is formed before one starts school.

母国語の獲得は6歳までになされる。そして言語は思想と文化と関連がある。従って人の基本的世界観は学校に行き始める前に形成される。

☆Sample Essay Structure

A

【Introduction】I agree with the statement that what is taught in school greatly affect our view of the world.

【Point 1】Any regime makes great efforts to control what is taught or not taught in school.

【Point 2】In general, what is learned later in life has less impact on one’s thought than what is taught in school.

【Counterargument-treatment】Close relationships and media also have strong influence us, but school education has no less influence because it is the authority in education. s

【Conclusion】For better or worse, it is difficult to be free from what school education instills in our mind.

【導入】学校で教わることは人の世界観に大きな影響を与えるという発言に賛成する。

【要点1】どんな政体も学校で何を教え、また何を教えないかについて管理することに大きな努力を払う。

【要点2】一般的に人生の後半で学習することは学校で習うことと比べてあまり大きな衝撃がない。

【反論処理】親密な関係とメディアも強い影響を人に与えるが学校教育は教育の権威なので優るとも劣らぬ影響を与える。

【結論】良くも悪くも学校教育が教え込むものから自由になるのは難しい。

B

【Introduction】As the proverb goes, strike the iron while it is hot. I disagree with the statement that what we are taught in school greatly affects the way we perceive the world.

【Definition】One’s perception of the world is the fundamental view of the world such as ideas about space or gender.

【Language and world view】The critical period of language acquisition finishes in 6 years after birth and language and culture are closely related. Therefore, one’s view of the world is established during the time.

【Counterargument-treatment】Some advanced ideas cannot be understood by a six-year-old and school plays an important role in forming one’s world view. However, the ideas learnt in school and later in life are secondary and variables in one’s perception of the world.

【Conclusion】What we learn at school affects only a fraction of our perception of the world.

【導入】諺にあるように鉄は熱いうちに打てという。学校で教わることは世界の認識に大きな影響を与えるという発言に反対する。

【定義】世界の認識は空間や社会的性差についての考えのような基本的な世界観だ。

【言語と世界観】言語獲得の臨界期は生後6年以内に終わり言語と文化は密接に関連しているので世界観はその間に確立される。

【反論処理】6歳には理解不可能な高等な考えもあり学校は世界観形成に重要な役割を果たす。しかし学校とその後に学習する考えは世界観の中で二次的であり可変部分だ。

【結論】学校で習うことは世界観のごく一部にしか影響しない。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion】

☆Sample Counterargument Treatment

反論処理例

A

【Counterargument】Relatives and media also have strong influence,

【Explanation】There is no denying that adults in their family will form most of the world view of the children, and media form the world view of the adults.

【Confirmation of your argument】However, school education has no less influence because it is the authority in education.

【Example】For example, younger generations are more liberal in general than older generations because school education gradually removes prejudice from people and instill tolerance in them. No matter what their parents or news anchors say about foreigners or gays, most young voters choose the policies allowing immigrants to come into their country and gays to marry because school taught them about human rights in methodical ways and they know what they learned is right.

【Wrap-up】People listen to reasons and school conducts enlightenment, which provides unwavering base for structuring world view.

【反論】親戚とメディアもまた強い影響を与える。

【説明】家族内の大人が子供の世界観の大部分を形成するということは否定できない。また、メディアは大人の世界観を形成する。

【自分の主張の確認】しかし、学校教育は教育の権威なので優るとも劣らぬ影響がある。

【例】例えば若い世代の方が年取った世代よりも解放主義的だ。学校教育が徐々に人々から偏見を取り除き寛容性を教え込むからだ。外国人やゲイの人達について親やニュース番組の司会者が何を言おうが大抵の若い有権者は移民の入国を許可する政策やゲイの結婚を許可する政策を選ぶ。学校が徹底的に人権について教えており彼らは学んだことが正しいと分かっているからだ。

【まとめ】人は道理に耳を貸す。そして学校は世界観構築のゆるぎない基盤を提供する啓蒙を行うのだ。

B

【Counterargument】Some would say that some advanced ideas like liberalism cannot be understood by a six-year-old and school plays an important role in forming one’s world view.

【Confirmation of your argument】However, the ideas learnt at school and later in life are secondary and variables in one’s perception of the world.

【Example】For example, we learn at school that the earth spins once a day and that not the sun but we are the ones that are playing hide and seek, but we still say that the sun goes up and down and see the world that way. We do not think that we go down or up facing it. One can also unlearn or be brainwashed after graduation and have a totally different ideas about some aspects of the world.

【Wrap-up】School education accounts for little in the formation of one’s world view.

【反論】自由解放主義の様な進んだ考えは6歳児には理解できないので学校は世界観形成に重要な役割を果たすという人もいるだろう。

【主張の確認】しかし学校とその後の人生で学ぶ考えは世界観の中で二次的であり可変部分だ。

【例】例えば、地球は一日一回回転するのであり、かくれんぼをしているのは太陽ではなくて私たちだと学校で習うがそれでも太陽が昇る・沈むと言い世界をそのように見ている。太陽の方を向いて自分たちが下がったり上がったりしているとは思わない。また卒業後に学んだことを忘れたり洗脳されて世界のある面について全く異なる考えを持ったりする可能性がある。

【まとめ】学校教育は世界観形成のごくわずかしか占めていない。

Your Counterargument Treatment

【Counterargument】

【Confirmation of your argument】

【Example】

【Wrap-up】