Pre-TOEFL writing, Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older (16-18 year-old) teenage children. - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older (16-18 year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. 次の意見に賛成ですか反対ですか？１０代後半（16－18歳）の子供の重要な決定は親か他の保護者がすべきだ。具体的な理由と例を使って自分の意見を支持してください。

☆Let’s Think 考えてみよう

16-18-year-old people are high school students in general. They are between older children and adults. Examples of important decisions might be decisions on whether to have a part-time job, whether to study abroad, or whether to go to university or not. 16－18歳は子供と大人の中間。重要な決定はアルバイト、留学、進学など

☆Hints for Points  要点のヒント

I agree with this statement because …この意見に賛成だ。なぜなら．．．

1.    parents are responsible for their children’s actions till they see them leave them.

彼らから離れるまで親は子供の行動に責任がある。

2.    adults have more experience, knowledge, and common sense than their children.  

大人は子供よりも経験・知識・常識がある。

I do not agree with this statement because …この意見に反対だ。なぜなら．．．

1.     one should decide on one’s own future. 自分のことは自分で決めるべきだ。

2.    high school students should learn to be independent. 高校生は自立することを学ぶべきだ。

☆Sample Essay Structure エッセイ構成例

【Introduction = Outline】Although it would be wise for children to ask for advice from their parents when they make decisions, I entirely disagree with the idea that people aged 16 to 18 should leave important decision-making about them to their parents.

【Point 1】Older teens are mature enough to make final decisions.  e.g. voting right

【Point 2】Parents should not deter their older teenage children’s pursuit of happiness by making key decisions over their head.  e.g. which major to choose

【Counterargument-treatment】Mistakes may occur, but trial and error is necessary to be independent.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】 Late teens should control their own lives for themselves and not allowing it is over-parenting.

【導入＝概略】決定をする時に子供が親の忠告を求めるのは賢明だが、１６から１８歳の人たちは重要な決定を親に任せるべきだという考えに完全に反対だ。

【要点1】１０代後半は最終決断するのに十分な年齢だ。 例 選挙権

【要点2】親は重要なことを勝手に決めることによって幸福の追求を阻止してはならない。 例 専攻科目

【反論処理】失敗は起こるかもしれないが、自立するためには試行錯誤が必要だ。

【結論＝まとめ】 十代後半は自分で自分の人生を管理すべきであり、そうさせないのは過保護だ。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Sample Paragraph Development  段落展開例

【Main Idea】Parents should not deter their older teenage children’s pursuit of happiness by making key decisions over their head.

【Supporting Details】Extreme paternalism is fascism. Such actions not only violate their children’s basic human rights but also ignore their existence. Parents must not decide, for example, their son’s future career, nor can they decide what subject their daughter should major in. These actions will force children to either obey or disobey, and neither way will make them happy. If they follow the decision, they will lose their life. Then they will lose their real personality and sense of responsibility, for their lives are not theirs but their parents’. The self-abandonment will crush their soul in the end. Those who defy their parents will save their self, but their family life will never be the same as before. Ambivalence between the instinct to escape the authoritative parents and their love for them will tear their hearts apart.

【Conclusion】All these tragedies are unnecessary and to avoid them it is vital for parents to understand that their older teenage children deserve no less respect as an individual with a personality than their adult acquaintances.

【主張】重要な決定を勝手にすることによって子供の幸福になる権利を奪ってはならない。

【理由・詳細】極端な父権主義はファシズムである。そのような行動は子供の基本的人権を侵害するだけでなく存在を無視する。例えば親は息子の将来の職業や娘の専攻科目を決めてはならない。これらの行為は子供に服従か反抗を強いる。そしてどちらも子供を幸福にしない。決定に従えば人生を失う。それから本当の人格と責任感を失う。というのは自分の人生が自分のものではなく親のものだからだ。最終的には自己放棄により魂が粉砕されるだろう。反抗するものは自分は失わないが家庭生活は以前とは異なってしまう。権威主義的な親から逃れようとする本能と親への愛情の間のアンビバレンス（相反する感情による葛藤）が心を引き裂く。【結論】これらすべての悲劇は不必要なものであり、回避するためには親が自分の子供が成人の知り合い同様人格を持った個人として敬意に値することを理解する必要がある。