Class Supplement, TOEFL Integrated Writing, Sample Answer 7

Question:
Compare and contrast these two opinions.



Sample response:
The text touts American democracy while the professor doubts it.

According to the text, America has realized an open and inclusive society where people enjoy freedom and life full of mobility. The text says that this is partly because America accepts immigrants and this contributes to a society where people with different backgrounds live side by side respecting each other. It also says that America is a society free from constraint, where people can go wherever they want to go and anyone, even a recent immigrant, can become anything if he/she so wishes and works hard. However, the professor reminds the students that inequality exists by giving the example of black people. He says that they are poor on average and that black murderers are more likely to be subject to execution than those of different races.

The text says that the constitution which guarantees rights such as freedom of speech and freedom of religion makes the government listen to the opinion of its people. On the other hand, the professor says that the fact that most Americans abstain from voting these days is the sign that American democracy is not functioning well. He also says that the attitudes of the government do not reflect public opinions. The example is the difference between the opinion poll results and the consensus of the representatives on abortion: most people are for abortion but most representatives are against it. The professor also implies that free speech applies to all American citizens except communists, atheists, liberals and those who dissent over the US foreign policy. He says that Europeans are more open to different views and hence more interested and involved in politics.

The text casts no doubt about the success of the political system and the bright future of America but the professor concludes that American democracy is not perfect and that you should be careful of uncritical views about it. (318 words)




この解答例の構成:
第1段落: アメリカの民主主義に対する立場のLectureとTextの比較
第2段落: 自由平等思想の実現に関するTextの主張とLectureの反論
第3段落: 言論の自由と民意の反映に関するTextの主張とLectureの反論
第4段落: アメリカの民主主義の総括におけるTextとLectureの比較