2012/05/05
(Sat) Went to bed around 0:00. Slept from 0:3003:00 + 6:10-8:50 + 8:50-10:20
(2.5 + 3.5 + 1.5 + 1.5 hrs).
-0:16
a few electric shock to brain (esb)
0:32
esb + fit of body
0:35
esb (strong) fit of left knee
around
3:00 – 3:20game/car-like noise (g/c)
3:30
esb (strong) g/c gone
3:33
esb
3:39
esb3:43 g/c
3:47
esb
3:50
esb
3:51
esb (strong)
around
4:06 blasts of a motor bike
4:10
– 5:50 gave up sleeping and worked
5:50
went to bed again
6:02
esb
-6:10
several esb +fit of right index finger placed on a small heater placed on my
stomach
8:54
woke/woken up
10:24
work/woken up
Did
laundry and some winter clothes. Marked essays at the fast food restaurant from
around 15:00 to 18:00, bought food, and got home a little before 18:30.
As
few males look at me in dirty ways at least around the station in my town these
days, and as it was as warm as a summer day, instead of what I usually wear in
summer, a thick jean jacket with two tears on the front, I tried wearing
lighter clothes: a sleeveless T-shirt with a narrowest neck and a long-sleeved
cotton shirt and my usual baggy jeans. A
couple of old males looked at my bust and face with dirty smile, to each of
whom I swore…. I’ll try not to next time. For myself and for those people who
seem to be really concerned about me, those people I call nice and kind people
I mean, to whom I am thankful and ashamed for my doing this kind of things. I
haven’t flipped birds since I promised not to, I think. Maybe once, but not
more than that. When I want to, I make a fist. Should I bite my lips when I am
about to swear?
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