Supersonic/Electronic weapon and long term harassment for unknown reasons by a large indefinite number of people

163. 2010/10/22 Woken up at 2:45 a.m. by a strong shock on/in my head which felt like being hit with a grapefruit-sized rock. Studied till 5:00 and went to bed again. Right after that started a noise like a loud male snooze. Wore earmuffs and strange sensation like air-gun shot between my ears happened twice or three times. Pulled the side table close to my bed, put my pillow on it, and again tried to sleep. A week electric shock came to my head, and slight vibrations in the veins of my lower legs. Woke up around 8:30 with a construction-site noise. Felt very dizzy and could not walk straight the first several steps.

Yesterday, the third Thursday since one of my work days at Shibuya branch shifted to this day, on my way to work, not so many weird business men flock between Otemachi and Mitsukoshimae train stations as they did last week, but when I gave up my seat to a senior man, he strangely got excited and stack his hands, palm-leaf-open, towards my breast, almost touching them if I had not slid away from the seat, as seemingly a gesture of rejection, eyes glittering, saying, “Ye, ye, ye!,” “No, no, no.” Japanese, especially old people, do not gesture often and as a sign of rejection we also do not stick out wide open hands towards the other party’s breast. I shouted, “Don’t touch me!” and went towards the door.

On my way home, on Hanzo-mon line, a man who looked like a South Asian came up to me in a least crowded car and started looking at his phone while staring at me. I stared back, thinking I would shout if he did it again. He did not and instead frozen and got off at the next stop with his phone open. A few minutes later, after I moved to another car after avoiding some abusive, a tall slender good-looking young guy dressed in a dark suit, rushed towards me, sticking opened phone towards me, with his head fixed to its screen, and when I shouted, “Kichi-guy!,” “Mad man!,” which is one of the words I use these days to fend off further harassment when one of these abusive crowd starts doing this kind of intimidation, he looked up with a wired aura, and looked into my eyes with animal-like straight stare with some kind of purpose, changed course, and sank into the vacant seat in the corner. I moved to the door, where another young guy standing with similar weird aura looking at his phone. I looked around, there were about 5 or 6 of them doing the same, while other passengers, who used to do the same before, some of them till really recently, stood straight or pretend sleeping in the seats. I decided to get off the car at the next station, a young lady stood next to me before the doors opened, turned around, and stared the first young guy in the seat for seconds before getting off.

On the next train to my station, an old man looked into my eyes with a weird smile, as if he knew me and had seen my anything embarrassing thing, several times. After shouting and asking if he knew me and accusing him of looking at me like that I moved to the next car. The man, who first blushed slightly and started moving his fingers in a strange way when he realized that I was standing within his sight, or vice versa, turned white and stopped moving his fingers after several stations and no one abused me.

At my station Aoto, when I started walking on the platform, I saw around ten turn around and spot me, like “Here is that comedian girl on TV!” When I went up to a narrow space between the edge of the platform and the wall of stairs, 7 to 10 guys came rushing from the other side with their eyes fixed on me, some with robot like stare which is fixed a little diagonally to the right above me. There was little space between each of them. If everyone, including me, had walked straight ahead, I would have touched at least one of them. I thought of twisting my body and walk slightly side way, which I used to do when this happened before, and remembered at least one of them would touch me anyway. I shouted, “What in the world is going on? (Nannan-desu-ka ittai?)” a second before I passed the first two closely walking ones, and they parted. I walked through them without touching any, without being hit by their briefcases or without being pretended to hit me…well may be they did so but I did not look. When all of them were gone, I looked back and saw another similar bunch following me at the same speed, on the front a well-built guy, who is probably usually a nice-looking or taciturn athletic type, with a brutal grin moving his shoulders and arms like those of Bluto in Popeye. As I had reached the end of the narrow space and the top stair, I went down. After walking down several steps, I went up several steps and found the crowd was dispersed and a few guys, including the Bluto, meandering purposelessly, as if they cannot find what they had expected to be there－before, another crowd used to wait for me around the stairs or followed me down the stairs while those before me going down unnaturally slowly, making me either harassed by the crowed behind or elbow through forward being harassed anyway. ― I now regret that I used to say, “Excuse me,” when I elbowed through, for now I know they enjoy making me say that. ― There was one stout man who looked like the remainder of those, practically most people, involved in that “practice” or “ritual” of them going down in front of me. I said, “Japanese are oni kichi-guy (pitiless maniacs), aren’t they?” to nobody.

― I know I demeaned myself with this statement. It might have been better for me to say, “These activities are insane and pitiless,” if I could not help saying something. I know I should not generalize and these words are strong. The following is my excuse and/or justification. I am Japanese, so this is not an ethnic bias; given that I have been alienated by my people, in essence it is an ethnic bias, though. I started using the word kichi-guy, or mad man (actually this word should be spelled kichigai and it means not kichi-person but ki-chigai or mind-gone-wrong, although it is pronounced like kichi-guy), to repel attackers about three years ago. It took me more than five years to come up with the word after the onset of full-dress mass harassment for no reason at least I know of, mainly because I am not very perceptive. To avoid meaning people who suffer from mental disorders, I started putting adjectives such as iji-no-warui or mean before kichi-guy and finally ended up with oni, which originally means demon and is used to mean a merciless and cruel person. Oni is a noun and using this noun to modify another noun is a misusage in Japanese just like saying “demon mad man,” but I could not come up with a better adjective and I doubt anyone else can. I think it is an accurate description for my part. People seem to enjoy harassing me especially when they have the opportunity to remind me of the fact that I am single, childless, getting old and without any love-life, about the last one of which they seem to have some confused or conflicting ideas but this is not the point now. I came up with the word oni two years ago after I had repeatedly seen young mothers give me a blood-curdling “angelic” smile, with their eyes fixed on me and not smiling at all, when they push their baby-cart, change course toward me, and stop it right next to my foot or when they pass as close to me as possible when they cannot park their baby cart right next to me or when they turn their baby cart unnecessarily in a big circle and almost graze my foot before they get off the train car after sitting opposite me staring at me with a smile of satisfaction all the time, after I had seen older men and women seem to enjoy seeing young mothers do those things to me or looking at me and a young couple standing close to me, most of whom conspicuously being flirtatious to each other, after I had seen young women look into my eyes with devilish joy and young men laugh saying that I had expired as woman after signs of aging clearly showed up on me, after people euphorically keep staring at me when the train passes the station where around 2004 my then boyfriend lived and moved out of the apartment because of the landlord’s plan to demolish the building right after I had moved to a nearby station, after I remembered being told over the past fifteen years or so the phrase “hebi-no-namgorohshi (keeping a snake half alive)” by a few men, who without fail were extremely excited in a strange way and smiling in a devious way, after I remembered being told when I was in my middle and late thirties the phrase “hito-no-fukou ha mitsu-no-aji (someone else’s misfortune tastes like honey)” by a few women, most of whom young women, who without fail looked at me in the eyes with evil and satisfied smiles, and after I had realized that the more I became pathetic in their eyes, the more these people enjoy harassing me. I have seen 99.999…% of human beings I encountered, mainly Japanese, act “as,” not “like,” pitiless maniacs. Japanese people have a strong tendency to become extremely brutal and mean under a certain circumstance, and I have seen this phase for over eight years. I am suffering from the scar caused by this experience. I am sometimes at a loss of how to handle the fear, humiliation, and disenchantment I have gone through. Anger and hatred resurge when the same kind of harassment is repeated. And I have been sleep-deprived for more than 5 years, more than half of which are the years of incredible phenomena that seem to be caused by high-tech devices, about which I cannot talk because my sanity will be doubted. At any rate, I hope I will not say the same thing again. ―

A high school boy with earphones who were walking a few stairs up looked at me with a sadistic expression. I walked down and stepped on the descending escalator, which I used to avoid because of abuses by those who pass me but not anymore at this station, and no one bothered me then either. About 3 meters before it reached the first floor, the high-school boy came down from behind and passed me with his head down.