2021年8月15日日曜日

TOEFL iBT Independent Writing 1) Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. 2) Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by our society? - rewrite -

Writing Topic A

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

 

 

Lets Think

1.       This topic might be difficult to give a clear-cut answer. Most people have both experiences of being encouraged and discouraged by grades. Share your experiences about grading with your partner or group members.

Note: If the grades are high or higher than before, we are happy. If we keep getting lower grades, we might decide we are not apt for the subject and stop making efforts.

 

2.       When you cannot give a clearly positive or negative answer, how can you put the thesis statement?

Note: When you can think of both merits and demerits of a statement, you might want to use words like mostly agree, partly agree, or cannot totally agree in the thesis statement. If your stand is clear, you could use entirely agree, totally disagree, etc.

 

Ideas and Expressions

Agree

1)  Students can see objectively how much they have or have not made progress.

2)  Students can set the next goal by grades.

3)  Competition makes students study harder.

 

Disagree

1)  Some students get discouraged by repeatedly being told that they are not good.

2)  Grading force teachers to focus on making students get higher scores on tests. This will lead to rote learning, depriving students of real knowledge and making them less interested in the subject.

3)  Grading instill students with the idea that society is nothing but competition, and they will miss experiencing the joy of learning since it arises when there is no pressure to learn.

4) I get encouraged by test scores, but I am not by grades, because I do not trust them. When I changed schools, my grades changed while my test scores did not. When I was in the countryside, my grades were high, but when I moved to a city, my grades dropped. They are indicators of your status relative to your classmates.

 

Essay for Ideas and Expressions  (Barrons, Writing for the TOEFL iBT, pp.285-286)

 


Your Sample Essay Structure

Introduction

Point 1

Point 2

Point 3

Conclusion

 

Speech Time

Make a one-minute speech on this topic.

 

Sample Paragraph Development             

Main IdeaI cannot totally agree with the statement that grades encourage students to learn because there are people who are discouraged by competition.  

Supporting Detail (general)Grades make students compete against each other.

Supporting Detail (specific)There are two kinds of people who dislike this situation: those who are always at the bottom in academic competition and those who just do not like to see themselves competing against their classmates. Both types can lose interest in study the moment they become aware that they are being made to race their classmates.

Follow-upIt is true that competition motivate students to raise scores, but it is questionable if they are really learning. Learning is primarily a personal activity. It is stimulated by pure interest in the subject. Students whose motivation to learn is to defeat someone in tests would lose interest in learning if their target leaves them. They need more fundamental motivation to learn, such as interest in nature or community.

ConclusionThus, grading does not encourage students to learn in a real sense.

 

Your Sample Paragraph Development:

Main Idea                                                                                       

Supporting Detail (general)                                                                      

                                                                                                    

Supporting Detail (specific)                                                                        

                                                                                                    

                                                                                                    

Follow-up                                                                                       

                                                                                                   

Conclusion                                                                                      

                                                                                                   

Comments or Suggestion from your partner or group members

                                                                                                    

                                                                                                    

Writing Topic B

It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by our society? Give specific reasons to support your answer.

 

 

Lets think

1.     Which of the following sentences is more appropriate as a thesis statement for an essay on this topic?

(a)    Contributions of scientists are more valuable than those of artists.

(b)    I think contributions of scientists are thought to be more valued than those of artists in our society.

Note:  Answer (a) is the writer’s opinion, while Answer (b) is the writer’s opinion about the opinion of our society. Since the question is about the opinion of our society, Answer (b) is more appropriate as the answer to the question of this writing topic.

2.      Discuss contributions of artists to our society.

3.      Discuss contributions of scientists to our society.

4.      Which job you think is valued more? Why? Are there any evidences?

Note: Factors to decide which type of contribution is valued more by our society.

1)    the way they are treated in the education system  e.g. the number of subjects, lessons, teachers, and universities

2)    attention paid by society   e.g. social media followers, how often they are taken up by the media

3)    money paid for their work or status given to them  e.g. salary, funding, permanent resident status

5)    confidence they receive from society  e.g. whether most parents want to see their children become artists or scientists

One possible conclusion: The government value scientists, while the people value artists.

 

Ideas and Expressions

Contributions of artists to society

1)    They help us develop our emotions and sense of beauty.

2)    They cultivate our imagination and creativity.

3)    They purify our soul.

4)    They increase our knowledge about the world and humans through their expressions.

5)  They take care of the spiritual world.

 

Contributions of scientists to society

1)    They protect and develop our life.

2)    They help us save our future.

3)    They increase our knowledge about the world and humans.

4)  They take care of the material world.

 

Essay for Ideas and Expressions

(Barrons, Writing for the TOEFL iBT, pp. 304-305)


 

Sample Essay Structures


A.      Introduction

Contributions of Artists

Contributions of Scientists

Which is more valued by society

Conclusion

B.       Introduction

Contributions of Artists and Scientists

Reason for My Opinion 1

Reason for My Opinion 2


 

Your Sample Essay Structure

Introduction

           

           

           

Conclusion

 

Speech Time

Make a one-minute speech on this topic.

 

 

Sample Paragraph Development

A.      Main IdeaScientists seem to gain more respect from the society than artists do.

Supporting Detail (general)How they are treated shows which specialists are more valued.

Supporting Detail (specific) Scientists are called with titles like Doctor or Professor while artists are not. Also, governments are more ready to spend money on science than on art.

Follow-up There are some artists who are treated like a god, but they are exceptions.

ConclusionThose dealing with technology are more valued than those treating soul in our society.

 

B.       Main IdeaMore attention is paid to artists than to scientists.

Supporting Detail (general)We hear about artists every day, while we seldom hear about scientists.

Supporting Detail (specific)Television and magazines are full of the names and performances of artists. Their works are easy to understand and pleasure to the eye and ear. However, science news that appears on the front page once in a while is usually that related to awards like Nobel Prize, and the names of the scientists will hardly be learned by the public.

Follow-upIf asked whether they value science, people would answer in the affirmative, but actually they do not realize how much they owe to the work of scientists, and some even suspect that they are conjuring up a hoax. Climate change deniers are a good example. On the other hand, people follow artists SNS postings enthusiastically.

ConclusionIn the eye of the public, artists are the sweetheart of society, while scientists are brothers in the basement.

 

Your Sample Paragraph Development:

Main Idea                                                                                       

                                                                                                     

Supporting Detail (general)                                                                       

                                                                                                     

 

Supporting Detail (specific)                                                                        

                                                                                                     

 

 

 

                                                                                                     

Follow-up                                                                                       

                                                                                                    

 

Conclusion                                                                                      

                                                                                                    

Comments or Suggestion from your partner or group member

 


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