TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, We should be willing to change a decision we have already made if the situation and circumstances change. - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Consider the following statement. We should be willing to change a decision we have already made if the situation and circumstances change. Do you agree with this idea? Support your response by including specific reasons and examples.

☆Let’s Think

Discussion

1. Which Lay would you rather disrespect? Why?

a. Lay is willingly to help the weak.

b. Lay is willingly to do whatever Bossy tells him to do.

2. It is often said that you should not change a decision once you have made it while it is also true that you have to be flexible about your decision to survive in this ever-changing world. In the following cases would you change your decision?

a.    You are (a) team leader of a group project and you decided on Plan A over Plan B because voting was a tie and you were asked to choose. However, Plan A is not working well.

b.    You are a high school student who is good at science and mathematics. Your teacher suggests that you prepare for majoring in science at university, but you choose humanities course to be a language major because you believe that language will help make the world better. In a few months, it turns out that humanities studies are harder than you had thought and you may have to go to a university ranked lower than those that you can attend if you switch to science courses.

c.     You are a father and you have agreed to take your children to a movie that they are eager to see. However, a research shows that the movie is boring. You are sure that it will disappoint your children. You try to persuade your children but they are too young to understand.

☆Hints for Points

Agree:

1.    As the saying goes, “Better late than never.” Although it is difficult and often scary to change a decision once you have made, doing it will often save you from failure.

2.    Admitting bad decisions helps development. Authoritarianism prevents some countries from advancing in science and technology. Their culture prohibits questioning the decisions made by the seniors.

3.    When the focus is money, readiness to change decisions is a virtue. Business policies are reviewed and revised every quarter for adjustment to change of circumstances. Every three months, businesses assess whether they have been keeping up with the projections they have made and if necessary, they immediately change the policy.

Disagree:

1.    In the case of a dream or idea, it might not be a good idea to give it up. Because it is related to your very existence, giving it up is giving yourself up. For example, something like a key code in a constitution should not be willingly changed with regard to a circumstantial change.

2.    Time solves problems in many cases. A bad situation may be over in a few more efforts, or the circumstance might change again and you might regret giving up so easily. For example, in relationships, although it is important for people to be honest with their feelings, people change as they go through many events, become mature, and understand more about each other. Willingly terminating a relationship may not be wise.

3.    Sticking with something to the end in itself has some significance. Doing something to the last is in itself an accomplishment. People respect those who make it to the end for their determination and courage to take responsibility of what they have set out to do. Following through something by staying the course, managing the difficulties, and taking the damage done into stride, takes on something holy around it.

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction】I almost agree with the statement that we should be willing to change a decision we have already made if the situation and circumstances change.

【Point 1】In our daily lives, it is usually appropriate to conform to new circumstances.

【Point 2】 Specifically, authorities’ reluctance to change decisions costs a lot of resources and even lives.  e.g. 9.11, scientific research

【Point 3】 In some cases, changing a decision can cause loss of something important. e.g. relationship, faith

【Conclusion】Adjusting to a new reality is necessary as long as it does not risk more important things in life.

【導入】状況や環境が変化した場合既に行って決定を進んで変えるべきだという発言にほぼ賛成する。

【要点1】日常生活では通常新しい環境に合わせるのが適切だ

【要点2】特に権威当局が決定を変えることを厭うと多くの資源や命さえもが犠牲になる。 例 9.11, 科学研究

【反例】 場合によっては決定の変更により何か重要なものの喪失を引き起こす。 例 人間関係、信念

【結論】人生でもっと重要なことを危険に曝さない限り新しい現実に順応することは必要だ。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】                                                                   e.g.

【Point 2】                                                                   e.g.

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Sample Paragraph Development

Sample 1

【Main Idea】 Specifically, authorities reluctance to change decisions costs a lot of resources and even lives.

【Explanation】 An organization cannot change its operation until its leader orders to even when the rank-and-file know the problem. Many organizations have lost much of their resources because of inertia.

【Supporting Detail in General】This problem exists in all kinds of groups from a sport team to a nation. History fans may cite countless such examples as war-time tragedies caused by sticking too much to a wrong decision.

【More Specific Supporting Detail】More recently, despite repeated C.I.A. reports on the possibility of terrorist attack using an aircraft before 9.11, President Bush kept dismissing it, and the country with the strongest military in the world let the tragedy happen. Even in scientific researches, which seem to allocate budgets to only up-and-coming research projects, may not be totally free from this problem. In a South Asian country, for instance, because no one can question their senior professor, a project led by the professor can waste the research fund,

【Follow-up】 Of course if the top do not show determination, disruption will occur among the members of the group. Thus opportunism should be avoided.

【Wrap-up】However, taking responsibility includes always being alert and change their policy if necessary.

【主張】特に権威当局が決定を変えることを厭うと多くの資源や命さえもが犠牲になる。

【説明】実務担当者が問題に気付いている時でさえ、組織というものは指導者が指示するまでは業務を変更できない。この惰性のために多くの組織が資源の多くを失ってきた。

【一般的な詳細】 この問題はスポーツチームから国家まで全ての種類の集団に存在する。歴史ファンは間違った決定に固執しすぎたために引き起こされた戦時中の悲劇の様な例を無数に上げられるかもしれない。

【より具体的な詳細】 より最近では、航空機を使用したテロ攻撃の可能性が9.11の前にCIAによって繰り返し報告されたにもかかわらずブッシュ大統領はそれを無視し続け世界最強の軍隊を持つ国があの悲劇を起こさせてしまった。将来有望な研究計画のみに予算を割り当てそうに思える科学研究でさえこの問題から完全に自由ではないかもしれない。例えばある南アジアの国では目上の教授に異議を唱えることは誰もできないのでその教授の率いる計画は研究費を無駄にする可能性がある。

【補足】もちろん指導者が断固とした決意を示さなければ集団の構成員の間に混乱が生じる。従ってご都合主義は避けるべきだ。

【まとめ】しかし、責任を取ることは常に用心深くし必要ならば方針転換をすることを含んでいる。

Sample 2

【Main Idea】 In some cases, changing a decision can cause loss of something very important.

【Explanation】 There seem to be things more important than success or even life.

【Supporting Detail in General】 Many people stick to a failed relationship or unsuccessful project to the end.

【More Specific Supporting Detail】 Some women stay till they die with their husband who call them “stupid” for decades, but they may have been happier than they had divorced their husband. The great explorer Scott did not stop his doomed exploration in the Antarctic because carrying out his mission such as scientific and geographic researches was more important to him than reaching the Pole first and coming back alive, for which he is still admired.

【Follow-up】For many, these behaviors may appear futile, but life is more profound than our understanding and god works in mysterious ways. A smart move might not always be wise or satisfying.

【Wrap-up】It might deserve respect in some cases to abide by one’s decision for something important to one.

【主張】場合によっては決定の変更により何か非常に重要なものの喪失を引き起こす。

【説明】 成功あるいは命さえよりも重要なものがあるように思える。

【一般的な詳細】 多くの人が機能不全の人間関係や失敗した計画から離れない。

【より具体的な詳細】 女性の中には自分のことを「馬鹿」とよぶ夫と死ぬまで一緒にいる人もいる。しかし夫と離婚していたよりも幸せだったかもしれない。偉大な探検家のスコットは失敗する運命にある南極探検を止めなかった。なぜなら最初に南極点に到達し生きて帰るよりも科学・地理の研究等の任務を全うすることの方が重要だったためであり、その故に彼は今でも敬愛されている。

【補足】多くの人にとってこれらの行動は無益に思えるかもしれない。しかし人生は私たちの理解するところよりも深遠であり神は人生の妙を見せて下さる。賢い立ち回りが必ずしも賢明あるいは満足を与えるとは限らないのだ。

【まとめ】本人にとって大切な何かのために決めたことを守ることは場合によっては敬意に値するかもしれない。

Your Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】

【Explanation】

【Supporting Detail in general】

【More Specific Supporting Detail】

【Follow-up】

【Wrap-up】