TOEFL iBT Independent Writing One important change in the government of my country I would like to make - revised -

Writing Topic: Suppose you had the power to make one important change in the government of your country. What change would you like to make, and why?

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1. Think of your concern about the government or politics, and do research on it.

2. Tell your partner or team members what you have found.

 

☆Hints for Points

1         Money politics (“seiji to kane” no mondai): Corrupt politicians are supported in elections by interest groups (big businesses) in return for doing favor for them. For decades, they have weakened Japanese economy mainly by allocating large part of the budget for unnecessary projects that only help big companies such as building unnecessary airports, bridges, roads, and other facilities whose construction even the local people question. Anti-corruption laws have been enacted, but there are loopholes. Part of the problem is that those who make these laws are the very people who are regulated by them, politicians. Also, whistleblowing will cost one’s job. To establish a committee which is totally independent of the government and which makes original budget plans and has authority to intervene government spending might be an idea to solve the problem.

 

2         Low number of the female politicians: Japan is one of the countries with few female politicians. Women account for 10.4 % of the Japanese parliament as of 2021. It is unnatural that only one-tenth of the government represents half the population. Our country’s constitution stipulates gender equality. National policies will be better if the houses had more women. For example, Forbes pointed out that the seven countries that dealt with the coronavirus pandemic best 1n 2021 had female leaders.

 

3         High percentage of hereditary politicians: Politicians who are the second or the third generations of political families account for 40% of the government. They are from rich families and are out of touch about the lives of the ordinary people. They do favor for the super-rich families and huge corporations not only in Japan but also other countries, sacrificing the public interest. Increasing the number of politicians who are average citizens is necessary to improve our politics.

 

4         Tilts to the right and fascism: Isolation of the will of the people has been in progress, as seen in the railroading of the right of collective self-defense. Some fact in the Liberal Democratic Party even insists on changing the Constitution to get rid of the sovereignty of the governed and to make Japan able to exercise collective self-defense, which will allow Japan to attack other countries that have not attacked it.

 

5         Decentralization (chihoubunken): Japan is a highly centralized state where government bureaucrats take the initiative. While this practice might be generally suitable for this small country, the drawback is less freedom in local governments and political apathy. The government should partly shift authority in some areas such as education, welfare, and development to local governments.

 

6         Reconstruction Agency working for not the people but the vested interest: Disaster victims such as those hit by Fukushima nuclear meltdown have been suffering since then. The government has been trying to establish only the image that the reconstruction is done while ignoring the concerns and wills of the residents and evacuees. Even though the radiation is not low enough to erase the health concerns about living in the area for a long time, the government has stopped support for the evacuees to make them return to their houses in Fukushima, many of which are not suitable for use anymore. Evacuees also suffer from discrimination. On the other hand, schools and houses are being built, even though few are willing to return. (地図から消される街 青木美希著) We have to continue support for disaster victims to be able to build a new life, as disasters are expected to increase due to climate change.

 

7         Inhumane treatments of migrant workers: Japan has decided to accept a large number of migrant workers due to shortage of workforce, yet it has done little to provide the workers with good conditions to live in Japan. Foreign workers suffer from discrimination and ill-treatment from their employers. Many disappear for better conditions. The death toll, including those of suicides, is extremely high. Also, there are already 40,000 children of foreign descent who need support in studies in Japanese but do not receive it. It is imperative for the government to take action now to make Japan a successful multi-ethnic society.

 

8         Disarmament: As the only country which has been bombed with atomic weapons, Japan should be more assertive in disarmament. When most of the people who actually experienced the attack and the aftermath are no longer with us, we should more consciously try to pass down the memory of the history to the next generation and keep requesting world peace based on diplomatic relations between countries. The first step would be to join the nuclear ban treaty.

 

9         The gap between the rich and (the) poor: Wealth gap has been getting bigger in Japan, which was famous as a relatively equal society till the 2000s. It has been proved that income inequality causes many kinds of problems. Therefore, the government should work on the problem more seriously. For example, cancelling consumption tax, free nursery, free education, and free medicine will help greatly the disadvantaged and the country, which will lead to vitalized economy and stabilized society.

 

10     Tensions with China and South Korea: One idea to solve the conflicts with surrounding countries is to share the rights to use Takeshima and Senkaku Islands with other countries that insist their rights to possess them. This will soften the tension between involved countries and enrich all. （People’s Peace: positive peace in East Asia & Japan’s new role by Johan Galtung）

 

 

☆Let’s make a presentation

Make a presentation of the change you would like to make in your government.

Be prepared to answer the following questions.

1.       What is the problem?

2.       How would you like to change it?

3.       What oppositions can be expected?

 

 

☆Sample Essay Structure

 

A.      【Introduction】

【Present situation】

【Change you would like to make】

【Objections and how you convince them】

【Conclusion】

 

B.      【Introduction】

【Problem 1】

【Problem 1】

【Countermeasures】

【Conclusion】

 

☆Your Essay Structure

【Introduction】

【                        】

【                        】

【                        】

【Conclusion】