vocabulary building
discussion posted 2 months ago by NorikoSasaki
Summarizing a reading material also works.
discussion posted 2 months ago by NorikoSasaki
Summarizing a reading material also works.
Tone Exercise 1
discussion posted 2 months ago by NorikoSasaki
Objective: The bedroom is on the second floor of a small house in the western part of Kyoto, the old capital in Japan. It is full of books. There are several shelves along the walls and one near the ceiling, all full of books. Books are also on the floor surrounding a set of bedding placed in the middle of the room.
Sentimental: The room was on the second floor of a tiny, ancient house in the outskirts of the city of Kyoto. Except for the window facing the center of the old capital, the desk, and the space adjacent to the next room, all the space in the bedroom was filled with book shelves with the books he had collected by haunting second-hand bookstores in the city. A humble wood shelf was placed near the ceiling above the desk. It was sagging slightly because of the weight of the books. In the middle of the room was a set of shabby but clean bedding surrounded by countless numbers of books, magazines, and LP records. The titles of the books indicated the angst and escape into stories in his teenage yeas which had ended a few years before. Now, weak light from the clear winter sky veiled everything in the room tenderly like a mother soothing her child who is falling asleep after sobbing for a while.
Optimistic: The room is a treasure trove for a bookworm. The walls are filled with novels of all kinds. The floor is covered by heaps of books and forests of magazines and LP records. They are surrounding a set of bedding placed in the middle of the room, from which you can reach any of the books you have been reading lately.
Notes
1) As you might have noticed, this place described above is not exactly my place. I cannot describe the place where I live now because it is less than a nest. Probably calling it a torture chamber is accurate. Thus I had to use a room in my memory. It was another person's room, but it was also mine for a certain period of time in my youth.
2) The part in bold letters are added after I received comments. I added the second last line of the sentimental paragraph after receiving a comment from GuillemVaquer. I also added "Now," to the last line to make the two sentences flow smoothly.
3) I omitted the last part of the optimistic paragraph following the advice from prod211. The omitted part was as follows: cozily wrapped in a blanket with a mug of coffee.
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2 responses
I like how you use the past for the sentimental tone. It got my eye.If I have to say anything else, I would add that the sentimental paragraph has a last line that is very emotional but does not seem like part of the description.I hope it was helpful.- Thank you for your response. I'm glad you like the way I use the past tense. Well, actually, it was half unintentional. I first wrote all the three paragraphs in the past tense. Then I realized I'd better put them in the way above. As you say, the last line of the sentimental paragraph may not be called part of the description, but I wanted to use it as a metaphor for the atmosphere of the room. Also, shade of light can be an element of description of a place and so can similes. That's why I leave it there. Probably I should have worked more on the preceding part to make the last line function as a metaphor. PS: I added another sentence before the last line after your comment.posted 2 months ago by NorikoSasaki
- In my opinion, the optimistic sentence is very good but part of the last sentence starting at cozily shows a tone other than optimistic.posted 2 months ago by prod211
- Thank you for your comment, prod211. Probably the part you mentioned is redundant. Or does "coffee" have a connotation other than optimistic? Like scientists using coffee to carry on their hard work? Will coco do instead of coffee?posted about a month ago by NorikoSasaki
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Tone Exercise 2
The tone of a picture of a forest: Melancholy
The tone of a picture of a kitten in a blanket: Innocent
The tome of a fisherman out in the ocean at dawn: hopeful
