Pre-TOEFL writing, People behave differently when they wear different clothes. - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People behave differently when they wear different clothes. Do you agree that different clothes influence the way people behave? Use specific examples to support your answer.

☆Let’s Think

Let us remember seeing people dressed differently than usual and ask ourselves whether they were acting differently or not. Does your family behave differently when they are in different clothes?

☆Hints for Points

Agree

1.    People tend to act very politely when they wear formal clothes and in rough manners in casual clothes.   e.g. ceremony, bedroom, etc.

2.    Uniforms and costumes are used partly to utilize the effect.  e.g. school uniform

Disagree

1.    It is not the clothes they wear but the situation they are in that affects how people behave.  e.g. funeral

2.    Personality does not change with the change of clothes, so the person’s behavior will not change.

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】I largely agree with the opinion that different clothes influence the way people behave although it is not always true.

【Point 1】Based on experience, you can tell the statement hold some truth.

【Point 2】Clothing is closely related to social structure and communication.

【follow-up】On the other hand, the basic nature of an individual will not change with the change of the appearance.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Whether it is the cause or effect, behavioral change corresponds with change of clothes, and it seems to me that the latter is the cause of the former.

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3/ Follow-up】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Sample Paragraph Development

Point 1 in Sample Essay Structure

Based on experience, you can tell the statement holds some truth. Most people have the experience of change of mood and behavior corresponding to change of clothes. You might remember feeling that you have transformed into a new person when you looked yourself wearing a school uniform in the mirror for the first time. Although you knew as an individual you have not changed at all, from that moment on, you started acting like the character that the clothing represents, saying good-by to the earlier you. Some clothes have a power to make you behave differently.

Point 2 in Sample Essay Structure

Clothing is closely related to social structure and communication. Choice of clothes is a choice of your attitude. People in uniform are expected to act in a certain way and they act accordingly. Also, people who see them treat them as they are thought to be, and this makes them act more like what that particular uniform symbolizes. The same can be said for fashion and traditional clothing. A person’s action is significantly decided by the message what he or she is wearing sends to others.

Follow-up in Sample Essay Structure

On the other hand, the basic nature of an individual will not change with the change of the appearance, and neither will his or her behavior change dramatically. A gentle person is always gentle whatever he or she is wearing. A thief will steal even when dressed in expensive clothes. Your mother is always your mother no matter what she is wearing, but it is also true that she acts more actively when she is in a suit than when she is in kimono.