2017年4月30日日曜日

TOEFL, iBT, Independent Writing, Television has taken away opportunities to communicate with friends and family. - rewrite -

Writing Topic
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has taken away opportunities to communicate with friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


Let’s think
What did families use to do in the evening before television was invented? They could have talked about their day or had a chat on something of their mutual interest, while doing some small household work together. They might have watched their youngest child starting to walk or talk. They might also have used the time to pass down the history, folk tales, morals and important information about the family and community. Has television deprived family of time to do those things? Given that it is a powerful entertainment tool, it seems it has.

We may have to consider the characteristics of television as a medium. It can be a medium between individuals to share information, thoughts and feelings. What is on television could induce communication. On the other hand, television can be used to escape from direct communication. Also, television can be a medium to brainwash people. Moreover, the spread of television sets may have separated people. Personal televisions, with increasing variety of television channels, might be making us unable to speak the same language.

We might also have to consider what communication is. One could feel lonely while socializing with others watching TV together. Also, the quality of communication over television could be very low, mainly because of the low quality of the contents, and some people might not call it a communication.

Making the framework of the full essay
Here is one idea of an essay-writing procedure. You do not have to start with the introduction, proceeding to the body and the conclusion. Often we do not know the answer before fully discussing the points, so we could begin with the body, then we make a conclusion, and put the introduction which matches the conclusion.

The diagram of the procedure is as follows. The signs and symbols in the diagram represent images of a variety of thoughts.
STEP 1  Working on the body making each point
Point 1#####
Point 2&&&
Point 3$$$$$@@

STEP 2  Making a conclusion
Conclusion = Wrap-upG!!!

STEP 3  Writing the introduction that matches the conclusion
Introduction = OutlineG

The actual structure of the essay made up of the ideas above is as follows.
Introduction = OutlineG
Point 1#####
Point 2&&&
Point 3$$$$$@@
Conclusion = Wrap-upG!!!


Here is a sample which follows the procedure above.
STEP 1  Working on the body making each point
Point 1Television reduces time to do activities that involve communication.
Point 2The contents of television do not connect people so much as isolate them.
Point 3It is true that television can provide opportunities for communication, but usually people do not communicate while watching television and the contents will not provide an in-depth communication.

STEP 2  Making a conclusion
ConclusionTelevision has lessened our communication in general because it now occupies our time and minds.

STEP 3  Writing the introduction that matches the conclusion
IntroductionI agree with the statement that television has taken away opportunities to communicate with friends and family considering people had less distraction before.

Sample Essay Structures
Sample Essay Structure 1  (This is the idea notes above put in the right order.)
IntroductionI agree with the statement that television has taken away opportunities to communicate with friends and family considering people had less distraction before.
Point 1Television has reduced time to do activities that involve quality communication.
Point 2The contents of television do not connect people so much as isolate them.
Point 3It is true that television can provide opportunities for communication, but usually people do not communicate while watching television and the contents will not provide an in-depth communication.
ConclusionTelevision has lessened our communication in general because it now occupies our time and minds.  

Sample Essay Structure 2
IntroductionI cannot totally agree with the statement that television has taken away opportunities to communicate with friends and family because it is in itself a good medium for communication.
Point 1Many spend most of their time watching television without interacting with others.
Point 2However, television can provide catalysts for communication.
Point 3Also, television can be used to share information and ideas.
ConclusionI think not television but the way television is used has prevented us from communicating with each other.


Your Sample Essay Structure
Introduction = Outline

Point 1

Point 2

Point 3

Conclusion = Wrap-up


Essay for Ideas and Expressions
If communication with family and friends is to learn about each other and strengthen or change the relationship, trying to do them while staring at the TV screen or discussing some television content may not be the best way. Considering people had less distraction before television started to prevail, I agree with the statement that television has taken away opportunities to communicate with friends and family.
   Television reduces time to do activities that involve communication. Since it is fun to watch TV, everyone watches it. Sports fans spend most of their lifetime watching live sports programs and sports news shows. It is also a duty to watch TV. You should know about some popular programs and people to keep up with the others. We are too busy watching TV to care about our folks. Also, as television occupies the viewer’s mind, it is difficult to talk to someone who is watching television, and the communication over TV will not become as deep as communication without television, in which each other’s whole being interacts. Nevertheless, because of the ease, mannerism, and expectation for something unexpected we choose to watch TV. Some even use television to escape communication. A busy mother may put her inquisitive child in front of TV, or a son may pretend to be absorbed in a show so that his father cannot talk to him.
   The contents of television may not connect people so much as isolate them. Unlike the old days when family members spent the evening reading the Bible together, individuals have their own interests to spend time on now. Everyone has a personal terminal, and the number of channels and programs are countless. This divides us. People feel they are more associated with those who share the same interest with them than with their blood relatives and friends. Your brother or friend thinks he has his comrades in a specific audience community such as anime fans and far-right ideologists. Although this may make him happy, he often loses touch with the people around him, and more or less the same kind of segmentation among us has been going on through the use of television.
Television can help induce communication. You could laugh together or pick up a conversation piece on a television program. However, the same kind of communication can be done without the medium of television and these interactions usually convey only simple messages like affection or agreement, or some basic information. Even when a lively conversation is going on, the topic is about a program, not you or your family or friend. Some content may trigger an in-depth exchange of thoughts and feelings on rare occasions, but doing something else together always involves good communication between family and friends. Just washing the dishes together or chatting while one is doing it would make your relationship better.

   When we seriously want to communicate with someone, we do not give a glimpse to the TV screen. However, television usually keeps our attention, makes our interests disparate, and prevents us from knowing each other well. Since it occupies a large part of our time and mind, I think that television has lessened our chances to communicate with family and friends. Perhaps keeping our eyes off from the TV screen would let us see our relationships better than now.

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