2017年3月5日日曜日

Pre-TOEFL writing, Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older (16-18 year-old) teenage children. - rewrite -

Writing Topic
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older (16-18 year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.


Let’s Think
The phrase “other adult relatives” would be for cases in which people like grandparents or aunts are playing the role of the older teenager’s parents for some reason. 16-18-year-old people are high school students in general. They are between older children and young adults. Examples of important decisions might be decisions on whether to have a part-time job, whether to study abroad, or whether to go to university or not.

Hints for Points
Yes, because …
1.    parents are responsible for their children’s actions till they see them leave.  e.g. car accident
2.    adults have more experience, knowledge, and common sense than their children.  e.g. quitting school

No, because …
1.    one should decide on one’s own future.
2.    high school students should learn to be independent.

Sample Essay Structure
Introduction = OutlineAlthough it would be wise for children to ask for advice from their parents when they make decisions, I entirely disagree with the idea that people aged 16 to 18 should leave important decision-making about them to their parents.
Point 1Older teens are mature enough to make final decisions.  e.g. voting right
Point 2Parents should not deter their older teenage children’s pursuit of happiness by making key decisions over their head.  e.g. which major to choose
Counterargument-treatmentMistakes may occur, but trial and error is necessary to be independent.
Conclusion = Wrap-up Late teens should control their own lives for themselves and not allowing it is over-parenting.

♦Your Sample Essay Structure
Introduction = Outline

Point 1


Point 2


Point 3


Conclusion = Wrap-up



Sample Paragraph Development
Parents should not deter their older teenage children’s pursuit of happiness by making key decisions over their head. Extreme paternalism is fascism. Such actions not only violate their children’s basic human rights but also ignore their existence. Parents must not decide, for example, their son’s future career, nor can they decide who their daughter should or should not marry. The imposition will force children to either obey or disobey, and neither way will make them happy. If they follow the decision, they will lose their life. Then they will lose their real personality and sense of responsibility because their lives are not theirs but their parents’. The self-abandonment will crush their soul in the end. Those who defy their parents will save their self, but their family life will never be the same as before. Ambivalence between the instinct to escape the authoritative parents and their love for them will tear their hearts apart. All these tragedies are unnecessary and to avoid them it is vital for parents to understand that their older teenage children deserve no less respect as an individual with a personality than their adult acquaintances.


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