Class Supplement, TOEFL Essay, L 15, 2011

Writing Topic 1
If you could ask a famous person one question, what would you ask? Why Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Let’s think
The same types of questions as today’s topic are as follows:
♦If you could meet a famous entertainer or athlete, who would that be, and why?
♦If you could travel back in time to meet a famous person from history, what person would you like to meet?
♦If you could go back to some time and place in the past, when and where would you go?

Whoever or wherever you might choose, it is safe to choose a person or a place you have many things to write about, the person or place you often think or hear about. If you write about a person your rater might not know even though the person is famous among a number of people, make sure that you explain why he or she or it is famous.

Your short response:
If I could ask a famous person one question, I would ask …

because …


He / She is /was famous for /as …


If I asked the question, he / she might say …


He / She might also say …



Sample short response:
If I could ask a famous person one question, I would ask Bradley Manning if he ever regrets what he has done
because I think what he has done is worth more than respect and I do not know if I would do the same as he did if I were in his position.
He is famous as a wikileaker. He is said to have leaked to WikiLeaks confidential documents and video of the American military and government. Because of his deed, it became open that there are more civilian casualties in Afghanistan and Iraq than were officially reported, there is at least one war crime committed in Iraq, and what the US officials say to the world is different from what they are saying between themselves. Of course he angered the government and he was caught. He has gone through more-than-a-year solitary confinement and suffered harsh treatment, which many people call a torture and which has dulled his mind according to a report.
If I asked the question, he might say he has no regret, because I hear he is a person of a highly moral character. He believes that he has done a good thing for people, especially for the weak. He had been sympathetic to the oppressed under dictatorships before he found the documents that contain facts that they should know.
He might also say that he would do the same but would do it more carefully. He was arrested because he hinted what he had done to a person who he thought was his friend. Bradley Manning was only 23 years old then, and had had a traumatic life. I think it cannot be helped that he told his secret to a chatting mate who shared many of his interests. If there is one thing he might regret, it would be that he tried to believe that a friend would never tell on him.


Essay for Ideas and Expressions
(Barron’s, Writing for the TOEFL iBT, p.297)
If I could ask a famous person one question, I would ask Neil Armstrong what it felt like to walk on the moon. Sometimes I think it would be scary; sometimes I think it would be fun. On the other hand, maybe Neil Armstrong was too busy to feel scared or have fun while he was walking on the moon.

I think it could be every scary to go to walk on the moon. Neil Armstrong was the first person to do it. He was well prepared for the event, but he still couldn’t be sure what he would find. Also, maybe he worried that something might happen. What if he had a problem with his oxygen or couldn’t get back to the spaceship on time? I wonder if he thought about these things, or if he just did his job.

On the other hand, maybe Neil Armstrong had fun walking on the moon. The gravity is different so just taking steps would feel different. I think that would be fun. If I went to the moon, I would want to run and jump and shout, “Hurray! I am on the moon!” I wonder if Armstrong felt that way.

Maybe Armstrong didn’t have time to feel scared or happy or anything else. He had a very important job to do. The whole world was watching him. He had to be serious and focus on his work. His time was short. He probably didn’t have time for anything except to get his job done.

It can be a scary thing or a fun adventure to do something for the first time. Being the first person to walk on the moon is one of the most incredible adventures of all time. I would like to meet Neil Armstrong if I could ask him how it felt.


Writing Topic 2
Some universities require students to take classes in many subjects. Other universities require students to specialize in one subject. Which is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Let’s think
When choosing one out of two, you compare them. In order to say something is the better of the two, you cannot avoid discussing both. In other words, you must prove why one is better than the other. Therefore, even though the topic does not say “Compare and contrast,” it is natural that you discuss both cases.

Ideas and Expressions
♦About taking classes in many subjects
1. People who have general ideas about varieties of subjects can be competent and interesting, because they can see things in many perspectives and easily stay abreast of others over latest topics.
2. University students are still growing intellectually, so they might find other subjects more interesting than those they chose when they entered their university.
3. Subjects are becoming more interdisciplinary these days. For example, students who major in biology also have to study chemistry and those who major in psychology also have to study neurology and chemistry. Economics majors have to study statistics. Inter-disciplinary labs have already started to emerge where physicists, chemists, and biologists are collaborating. Research and development activities are getting more and more interrelated. Therefore, it is better for students to study varieties of subjects.
4. Even seemingly unrelated subjects can be useful for students’ development. For example, a doctor who has studied the humanities can be more sensitive to patients’ feelings than a doctor who is accustomed to looking at only the physical aspect of a human being.
5. Students might get bored if they keep studying only one subject. They need to expose their brain to many kinds of subjects to maintain their interest in their majoring subject.
6. Counter-argument: Taking many different subjects would be a burden and there would be many students who would drop many subjects. ⇔ Time-management would be the key.

♦About specializing in one subject
1. Unlike institutions from primary school to high school, universities are where people pursue subjects of their interests. They are supposed to have acquired general knowledge concerning main subjects by the time they graduate from high school, and at university they are expected to delve into specific areas they have chosen. Therefore, it makes sense for students to focus on one subject.
2. It is more efficient for students to concentrate on one subject. It is too much for students to study other than their majoring subjects and subjects related to them. For Asian students who aspire to be doctors, for instance, studying European literature would do no good at best and pretty often would be a great burden except for some who are also interested in art and literature.
3. Counter-argument: Focusing on one subject would make students narrow-minded. ⇔ Today’s world requires everyone to make efforts to acquire a wider points of view and media and facilities for self-study are abundant. On the other hand, one can obtain special knowledge and technical skills only at university.


☆To meet the minimum 300 words requirement
Sometimes you realize that you have not written more than 300 words, the minimum requirement for TOEFL independent writing, after you have discussed everything. In such a situation, adding another point/reason seems to be the easiest way to write more, but it is actually rather difficult to come up with an extra point/reason after you have brainstormed once. Therefore, I recommend concentrating on the logic and details.

To increase the volume of your essay, …
1) develop the paragraph well: If a paragraph has only a few sentences, chances are that you have not developed well enough. Make sure that each paragraph has its main idea, supporting details (examples), conclusion, and additional supporting details like counter-argument treatment if necessary. Find the shortest paragraph, and you are sure to add something.
2) develop each sentence well: A statement usually has some exception or needs some condition or concession. Look for a sentence that you can add a reason, condition, concession, or any other additional information, and add “because …”, “except …”, “as long as …”, “although …”, etc.
3) describe words well: Which of the following sentences gives a clear picture of someone’s pet? A) I have a pet. B) I have a cute cat. C) I have a little fluffy kitten. With two adjectives and a specific noun, Sentence C) depicts an adorable pet well and it happens to be the longest of the three.
4) describe other choices: Even if the Writing Topic does not say, “Discuss the two views” or “Compare and contrast the choices,” you can write about other choices. Doing so will make your essay more convincing and longer. Make sure that you do not digress.
5) take up counter-arguments if necessary: While you are writing, sometimes a counter-argument, “Well, but what about this case?” comes up to your mind. Then it is better not to ignore it but take it up and give a counter-counter-argument or two. By doing so, you can confirm your argument. If you can do it well, you will get a high score.

The key to remember is to try to put what you want to say into words as accurately as you can. Then you cannot help adding some more words and sentences, and some more... In the end, your essay will have many words.