TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? - revised -

Writing Topic

People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

☆Let’s Think

1.      How can adulthood be defined in legal or, biological terms? Are these definitions enough to define adulthood? Why/Why not?

--- Legal adulthood is passing the Coming of Age Day. Biologically, if you have reached the age of the ability to reproduce, you are an adult.

2.      What other points of view, can adulthood be explained?

--- Words like “monster/helicopter parents” show that legal or biological adulthood is not enough to make someone an adult. Monster/helicopter parents are so called partly because they are not mentally independent from their children, so “mental independence” can be one condition for adulthood.

3.      What events make a person mentally independent?

Note: The question specifically says, “What events (experiences or ceremonies),” and so you are required to cite specific events and experiences that cause transformation from childhood to adulthood.

☆Hints for Points

Economic independence

Money is not everything, but money very often decides relationships. As long as your parents are paying for what is necessary for your survival, they treat you as such, someone in their custody. Also, until you have a job, you are not fully responsible for yourself and hence you are not full-fledged as a member of society.

Change of the position in the family

When a person has a child, the person becomes a parent, an adult. Now the person has to think and act like an adult to play a role of a care-giver, and over time, the person will become a real adult. Loss of parents can also have the same effect. After losing someone who has seen the person as a child, the part of the person who was a child of the lost parent is lost and the person will act like a child less often than before.

Mental independence

Many people who are economically not independent are looked upon as adults. For example, a woman whose illness does not allow her to support herself can be mentally mature. She can be respected by others for her strong self-restriction, wisdom, and abundant love for others. Therefore, events that develop these qualities can be said to make a person an adult. Experiencing love which is strong enough to set the beloved free or loss of your family member that makes you think what life and relationships are all about might be some of such events.

Mind development

Childish people are those who are selfish, impatient, and thoughtless. They do not understand that they are members of society, do not have respect for others, and embarrass themselves by following impulses without thinking of the results. Therefore, people who are less childish, who do these things less often, can be called adults. An event or events that intensively expose a child to the adult world might help this maturation, such as participating in community projects or joining the Boy Scouts.

Reliability

Parents stop, either consciously or unconsciously, giving directions to their children when they realize that their children know what to do, and so their directions are unnecessary and that they would probably get better results if they leave everything to their children. This usually happens after events like their children being assigned an important job in their community, school, or work place. Through taking responsibility, children become adults, who know what to do and are confident to take care of an unexpected situation.

Awareness of self-responsibility

A person becomes an adult when an event makes the person stop blaming others of his or her problem. If you are an adult, you know the fact that no one can fully take care of you and accept it. Of course we help and love each other as humans, but on the individual level, you have to protect yourself by yourself. Parents, even if they love their child, might not be able to give the child the best care for some reason. A wife cannot always watch her husband’s health no matter how much she loves him. When the child grows up to be physically or mentally weak, when the husband has a lifestyle-related disease, they have to face the problem by themselves. An adult is a person who takes personal responsibility for granted.

☆The Body Structure of Your Essay

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

☆Speech Time

Make a one-minute speech on this topic.