TOEFL iBT independent writing, Grades (marks) encourage students to learn? -partly rewritten-

Writing Topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

☆Let’s think

This topic might be difficult for many to give a clear-cut answer. Most people have both experiences of being encouraged and discouraged by grades. If the grades are high or higher than before, we are happy. If we keep getting lower grades, we might decide we are not apt for the subject and stop making efforts, or start cursing the system, or even get lost in paranoia that something strange is going on in this world. When you can think of both merits and demerits of a statement, you might want to use words like “mostly agree”, “partly agree”, or “cannot totally agree” in the sentence to express your opinion. If your stand is clear, you could use entirely, totally, etc.

☆Ideas and Expressions

For the statement:

1)  Students can see objectively how much they have or have not made progress.

2)  Students can set the next goal by grades.

3)  Competition makes students study harder.

Against the statement:

1)  Some students get discouraged by repeatedly being told that they are not good.

2)  Grading force teachers to focus on making students get higher scores on tests. This will lead to rote learning, depriving students of real knowledge related to the subject, and make them less interested in the subject. For example, making students memorize the titles of three most famous tragedies of Shakespeare without having them read any part of his works doesn’t help them have any feel of fun to read good literal works. Consequently, conventional teaching often produces people who would never bother to read novels all through their lives let alone a Shakespeare.

3)  Grading instill students with the idea that society is nothing but competition and students will miss experience joy of learning since it arises when there is no pressure to learn.

☆Sample short response:

I cannot totally agree with the statement that grades encourage students to learn because there are people who are discouraged by competition. Grades make students compete against each other. There are two kinds of people who dislike this situation: those who are always at the bottom and those who just do not like to see themselves competing against their classmates. Both types can lose interest in study the moment they become aware that they are being made to race their classmates.

It is true that competition raises levels of achievements on the whole and grading is a way to provide students with objective means of reflection about their jobs, but learning is primarily a personal activity, which is stimulated by pure interest in the subject whether you have rivals or not. A student whose motivation to learn is to defeat someone in tests would lose interest in learning if his target leaves him. Students need more fundamental motivation to learn.

Thus, I think it is important that teachers grade in reference to individual’s previous grades based on absolute standards, not relative to other students.

☆Your short response:

I totally /mostly /partly agree / disagree with the statement that grades encourage students to learn because

It is true that

but

Thus,

☆Essay for Ideas and Expressions

  (Barron’s, Writing for the TOEFL iBT, pp.285-286)

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Writing Topic 2

It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by our society? Give specific reasons to support your answer..

☆Let’s think

This writing topic consists of three parts: a premise, an instruction, and a question. The first sentence is a premise that any job is beneficial to society in general. By the second sentence, you are instructed to compare contributions of two types of people: artists and scientists. Because of the premise, you are saved from discussing if either or both of these two occupations are not necessary. The third sentence asks you to judge which job is valued more by our society. Thus, what you are supposed to do is 1) compare contributions of artists with those of scientists and 2) write which job you think is valued more.

☆Note

It just happens that contribution to society is not always valued rightly by society, so it does not matter if your answer to the question doesn’t comply with the result of your comparison of contributions of these two jobs. For example, you think artists contribute to society as much as scientists, but you could conclude that society value scientists more than artists for some reason.

☆Ideas and Expressions

♦Contributions of artists to society

1)    They help us develop our emotions and sense for beauty.

2)    They cultivate our imagination and creativity.

3)    They ease our soul.

4)    They increase our knowledge about the world and humans through their expressions.

♦Contributions of scientists to society

1)    They protect and develop our life.

2)    They help us save our future.

3)    They increase our knowledge about the world and humans.

♦Decisive factors on which type of contribution is valued more by our society

1)    money paid for their work (e.g. salary, government funding)

2)    tokens of respect they receive (e.g. permanent resident status)

3)    the way they are treated in the education system (e.g. the number of subjects, lessons, teachers, and universities)

4)    whether most parents want to see their children become artists or scientists

☆Essay for Ideas and Expressions

(Barron’s, Writing for the TOEFL iBT, pp. 304-305)

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