TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion Military or Sports Programs? (Revised)

Imagine your country has a certain budget that can be allocated either to the self-defense force or to sports programs. Which area should receive the funding, and why? Consider the potential impacts on national security, international prestige, and community well-being in your response.

 

 

☆Let’s Read and Think

Read the excerpt from An Appeal from the “Article Nine Association” and answer the following question:

…The use of force only results in robbing a country and its people of their livelihood and of their happiness. Since the 1990s, armed interventions by major nations into regional conflicts have also failed to result in effective resolutions. That is why, in such places as Europe and Southeast Asia, efforts are being strengthened to create regional frameworks that can help to resolve conflicts through diplomacy and dialogue. … Based on Article Nine, Japan needs to develop ties of friendship and cooperation with the peoples of Asia and other regions, and change a diplomatic stance that only prioritizes a military alliance with the United States. Japan must play an active role in the tide of world history by exercising its autonomy and acting in a pragmatic manner. It is precisely because of Article Nine that Japan can engage its partner nations in peaceful diplomacy while respecting their various positions, and collaborate with them in the fields of economy, culture, science and technology.  

 

Question: How would spending more money on each choice affect national security, international prestige, and community well-being?

 

 

☆Hints for Points

National Security

1.       Japan is already one of the largest military powers in the world. The Self-Defense Forces have been training with the U.S. military for almost 20 years. Constitutional amendment will finalize the process.

2.       Militarization of Japan will emphasize its geopolitical position as a buffer country for the United States against China and Russia, which facilitates the U.S. to keep its hegemony in the world.

 

International Prestige

1.        Shift from arms competition to business corporation promotes international security.

2.        Supporting sports rather than increasing military spending will improve the national image (soft power).

3.        Japan has a history of violent past: imperial Japan before and during WWII. Militarization would give a bad impression to other countries, especially countries that Japan invaded in the past. Also. Japan has a history of diplomatic solutions of international problems since the end of WWII. This has earned us a good reputation and has kept us free from terrorism. We must continue this diplomatic peace-building.

4.        Strengthening the military-industrial complex makes the economy dependent on weapons deal as in North Korea and Israel, whose images are extremely bad. 

5.        Self-defense forces are often dispatched to disaster-stricken countries for humanitarian-aids.

 

Community well-being

1.        Self-defense forces are indispensable in rescue efforts while disasters have been increasing recently.

2.        Weapons are much more expensive than sports promotion, while  government spending on sports has been tight as well as those on basic researches, art, education, and fundamental researches in science. To revitalize the economy, these areas must be funded.

3.       Sports are not free from problems. The International Olympic Committee (IOC) is corrupt, prioritizing the profit-making through television broadcasting rights. The government of the host country often funnel tax to related industries, but the trickle-down effect has been proven wrong. The public suffer from the government debt. The environment is influenced.

 

☆Sample Response

【Thesis】Japan, where I live, should not spend more on defense than sports.

【Supporting Details】The defense budget has exponentially increased over the past 15 years. Now it is nearly 2% of its GDP and can be raised to 3.5 of its GDP soon. This sends a negative message to our neighbors like China, Korea, and South-East Asian countries because of the past invasion and war crimes of Imperial Japan. Moreover, most of our military spending goes to the purchase of outdated weapons from the U.S. or is used to make up for the deficit of the U.S. military. It is a waste of money and it makes Japan a potential battle ground.

【Counterargument-treatment】It is true that sports programs are hotbeds of corruption. However, it is within the sphere of who benefits the most, while military spending leads to wars and deaths.

【Conclusion】Instead of using money for fear, I would like my government to use it for peaceful purposes.