TOEFL iBT Independent Writing What we are taught in school greatly affects the way we perceive the world. - revised -

Writing Topic

Consider the following statement. What we are taught in school greatly affects the way we perceive the world. Do you agree or disagree with this idea? Support your response by including specific reasons and examples.

 

 

☆Let’s think

Analyzing the statement can help brainstorming. Fill in the blanks, and answer the following questions.

1)       What is “the way we perceive the world”?

I think “the way we perceive the world” is our ______________________.

e.g. the way we see the world, world-view, understanding of the world, interpretation of the world, etc.

 

2)       What are we taught in school? How do they affect the way we perceive the world?

◍ Code of conduct (how to behave): collective behavior/respect for autonomy (independence of mind), academic achievement goal orientation, competition, gender socialization, team work, bullying, etc.

◍ History: Holocaust, slavery, WWII, the French Revolution, Civil Rights movement, the Union Movement

◍ Science: Copernican theory, a theory of biological evolution, Out of Africa theory, etc.

◍ Ethics: the Enlightenment, diversity, tolerance, cooperation, etc.

◍ Civics: ideas of democracy and citizenship, privileges and obligations (rights and duties), how the government works, electoral system (voting system), etc.

◍ Languages: a language that makes you realize your culture is not No. 1, etc.

◍ Art: a piece of work that makes you realize that your reality is not absolute, nor is it the best, etc.

 

3)       What else affect the way we perceive the world? Why?

I think __________________ ( e.g. family and friends, community, environment, media, etc.) also affect the way we perceive the world because                                                                          .

 

4)       Compared to other things that you listed in question 3, can you say that what we are taught in school GREATLY affect the way we perceive the world?

e.g. Yes, because education is given during the critical years in mind development. / No, because school is only a part of life.

 

5)       Are there any objective evidences that prove or disprove the statement?

Evidences that prove the statement:

◍ Most people in modern society believe in science. 近現代社会の大抵の人は科学を信じている。

◍ Depending on the country and generations, people have different ideas. e.g. living god in the imperial Japan, communism in communist countries, war crime territorial issues, same-sex marriage, etc.

国や世代により人の考えが違う。(例) 大日本帝国の現人神、共産主義、戦争犯罪、領土問題、同性婚等

 

Evidences that disprove the statement:

◍ Propaganda through media make people believe in wrong ideas. メディアを通した宣伝活動で人は間違った考えを信じる。

◍ Virtues taught in school are treated as idealistic notions and ignored in the real world. e.g. 〔cooperation < competition〕〔helping the needy < the law of the jungle〕〔equality < discrimination/oligarchy〕 etc.

学校で教えられる美徳は現実社会においては理想主義的な考えとして扱われ無視される。（例 〔協力＜競争〕、〔困っている人を助ける＜弱肉強食〕、〔平等＜差別/少数独裁〕等）

◍ The acquisition of one’s mother tongue is done by six years of age and language is related to thought and culture. Therefore, one’s fundamental world-view is formed before one starts school.

母国語の獲得は6歳までになされる。そして言語は思想と文化と関連がある。従って人の基本的世界観は学校に行き始める前に形成される。

 

☆Sample Essay Structure

A        【Introduction】I agree with the statement that what is taught in school greatly affects our view of the world.

【Point 1】Any regime makes great efforts to control what is taught or not taught in school.

【Point 2】In general, what we learn later in life has less impact on our thought than what is taught in school.

【Counterargument-treatment】Close relationships and media also have strong influence on us, but school education has no less influence because it is the authority in education.

【Conclusion】For better or worse, it is difficult to be free from what school education instills in our mind.

【導入】学校で教わることは人の世界観に大きな影響を与えるという発言に賛成する。

【要点1】どんな政体も学校で何を教え、また何を教えないかについて管理することに大きな努力を払う。

【要点2】一般的に人生の後半で学習することは学校で習うことと比べてあまり大きな衝撃がない。

【反論処理】親密な関係とメディアも強い影響を人に与えるが学校教育は教育の権威なので優るとも劣らぬ影響を与える。

【結論】良くも悪くも学校教育が私たちの精神に教え込むものから自由になるのは難しい。

 

B        【Introduction】As the proverb goes, strike the iron while it is hot. I disagree with the statement that what we are taught in school greatly influences the way we perceive the world.

【Definition】One’s perception of the world is the fundamental view of the world such as ideas about space or gender.

【Language and world-view】One’s view of the world is established during the time of language acquisition.

【Counterargument-treatment】Some would say that school gets rid of ignorance because the latest information is provided at school. However, the ideas learnt in school and later in life are secondary and variables in one’s perception of the world.

【Conclusion】What we learn at school affects only a fraction of our perception of the world.

【導入】諺にあるように鉄は熱いうちに打てという。学校で教わることは世界の認識に大きな影響を与えるという発言に反対する。

【定義】世界の認識は空間や社会的性差についての考えのような基本的な世界観だ。

【言語と世界観】世界観は言語獲得の間に確立される。

【反論処理】最新情報が学校で提供されるので学校は無知をなくすという人もいるだろう。しかし学校とその後に学習する考えは世界観の中で二次的であり可変部分だ。

【結論】学校で習うことは世界観のごく一部にしか影響しない。

 

☆Sample Counterargument Treatment 反論処理例

A        【Counterargument】Family and media also have strong influence,

【Explanation】There is no denying that adults members of a family will form much of the children’s understanding of the world, and the media form the adults’ understanding of the world.

【Confirmation of your argument】However, school education has no less influence because it is the authority of education.

【Example】For example, younger generations are more liberal in general than older generations because school education gradually removes prejudice from people and instill tolerance in them. No matter what their parents say about foreigners or gays, most young voters choose the policies allowing immigrants to come into their country and gays to marry because school teaches them about human rights, and they know what they learned is right.

【Wrap-up】People listen to reasons, and enlightenment that people get at school provides an unwavering base for structuring world-view.

【反論】家族とメディアもまた強い影響を与える。

【説明】家族内の大人が子供の世界観の多くを形成するということは否定できない。またメディアは大人の世界観を形成する。

【自分の主張の確認】しかし、学校教育は教育の権威なので優るとも劣らぬ影響がある。

【例】例えば若い世代の方が年取った世代よりも解放主義的だ。学校教育が徐々に人々から偏見を取り除き寛容性を教え込むからだ。外国人やゲイの人達について親が何を言おうが大抵の若い有権者は移民の入国を許可する政策やゲイの結婚を許可する政策を選ぶ。学校が人権について教えており彼らは学んだことが正しいと分かっているからだ。

【まとめ】人は道理に耳を貸す。そして学校で人が得る啓蒙は世界観構築のゆるぎない基盤を提供する。

 

B        【Counterargument & Explanation】Some would say that school gets rid of ignorance because the latest information is provided at school.

【Confirmation of your argument】However, the ideas one learns at school are secondary and variables in one’s perception of the world.

【Example】For example, we know through school education that the earth orbits the sun, spinning once a day and, but we still say that the sun goes up and down and see the world that way. A person who were born and raised in the International Space Station would have a correct view of the gravitational relationship between the sun and the earth. This shows that our perspective of the world is established in our early years. One can also unlearn or be brainwashed after graduation. Especially, media plays a significant role in forming our views these days. Anti-vaxxers and Trumpers are affected by news stations, podcasts, and social media accounts that tell them false ideas.

【Wrap-up】School education accounts for little in the formation of one’s world-view.

【反論と説明】最新情報が学校で提供されるので学校は無知をなくすという人もいるだろう。

【主張の確認】しかし学校で学ぶ考えは世界観の中で二次的であり可変部分だ。

【例】例えば、学校教育を通して地球は一日一回回転しながら太陽の周りをまわると知っているが、それでも太陽が昇る・沈むと言い世界をそのように見ている。国際宇宙ステーションで生まれ育った人は太陽と地球の引力の関係について正しい考えを持つだろう。これは世界観が幼いころに確立されることを示す。また卒業後に学んだことを忘れたり洗脳され可能性もある。特にメディアは最近私達の考えの形成に重要な役割を果たしている。反ワクチン派やトランプ派の人々は間違った考えを教えるニュース局やポッドキャスト、ソーシャルメディアのアカウントに影響されている。

【まとめ】学校教育は世界観形成のごくわずかしか占めていない。

 

 

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion】