TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, Which would you choose: a high-paying job with long working hours or a lower-paying job with shorter working hours? - rewrite -

Wring Topic

Which would you choose: a high-paying job with long working hours or a lower-paying job with shorter working hours? Support your response by including specific reasons and examples.

☆Let’s think

Discussion

1.    What kind of jobs are high-paying jobs with long working hours?

2.    What is your image of them?

3.    What kind of jobs are lower-paying job with short working hours?

4.    What is your image of a lower-paying job with shorter working hours?

5.    Which working condition would you rather choose? Why?

☆Deepening Thoughts

When you look around you and try to see which of these two working conditions most people choose, the answer seems to be easy. Most people want to be hired as a full-time worker for regular income. However, some people willingly choose the other type of the two. Students and housewives prefer part-time jobs to study or raise children respectively. Jobs that they can find are usually not high-paying.

Also, the real employment status is not simple. Trying to cut costs, companies do not raise regular workers’ salaries and many non-regular workers are becoming the working poor, whose wages are so low that they have to work more than ten hours a day or work at two different places a day to make ends meet.

Be that as it may, the essential quality of this question is about two-alternatives―it asks you which of the two you prioritize, money or time, and why.

☆Hints for Points

a high-paying job with long working hours

1.    It seems that it is common sense to choose a job with regular working hours. I would like to be a respected citizen. I would like to wear a business suit and work from 9 to 5 on week days and enjoy leisure time spending some money on my favorite activities on weekends.

2.    I like working. I would spend as much time as I can to learn the job, expand my knowledge, and improve my skills.

3.    I need money. Some people might view my desire as materialistic, but I would like to live in a safe and comfortable place, wear decent clothes, and eat as much safe food as possible to live a long healthy life. I think this desire of mine is rather humble.

a lower-paying job with shorter working hours

1.    I would like to continue my study over the next ten years. I would like to pass a few tests. I also would like to see the world.

2.    I just cannot work regularly. I am not inclined to long working hours. This does not mean that I am lazy. I have a strong power of concentration, while my body clock is just not attuned to the so called regular life pattern.

3.    Even if you have a lot of money, if you do not have time to spend it to make you feel you are alive, your life is a failure.

☆Essay Structure

Sample 1

【Introduction = Outline】I would choose a high-paying job with long working hours because I would like to lead a decent life.

【Point 1】I have a hard-working nature.

【Point 2】I would like to be a respectable person.

【Counterargument-treatment】Although the saying goes, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, if I devote myself for the good of society, no play will not make dull.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Children play and adults work. I will work and enjoy life to the utmost.

【導入＝概要】まともな生活をしたいので就労時間の多い高級の仕事を選びたい。

【要点1】勤勉な性格だ。

【要点2】私はちゃんとした人になりたい。

【反論処理】「働いてばかりいて遊ばないと馬鹿になる。」と諺では言うが公共の利益に自分を捧げている限り遊ばなくても馬鹿にはならないはずだ。

【結論＝まとめ】子供は遊び大人は働く。精一杯働いて人生をたのしみたい。

Sample 2

【Introduction = Outline】I would choose a lower-paying job with shorter working hours because time is life as the author of Momo says.

【Merit of the First Choice1】Life is stable for a regular worker.

【Merit of the Second Choice 2】A part-time worker can concentrate on his or her interest.

【My Choice】I do not want to be a cog in a machine.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】To stay as human as possible in this modern world of insanity, I would be happy to be less paid and have more leisure time.

【導入＝概要】「モモ」の作者が言っているように時間は人生なので、給料の少ない労働時間の少ない仕事を選びたい。

【長時間高給の利点】正社員にとって生活は安定している。

【短時間薄給の利点】アルバイトは自分の興味に集中できる。

【自分の選択】機械の歯車になりたくない。

【結論＝まとめ】この狂気の現代でできるだけ人間らしさを保つために私は喜んで薄給になり多くの余暇を持ちたい。

Sample 3

【Introduction = Outline】To help reduce suffering of other people, I would rather choose a high-paying job with long working hours.

【Point 1】There is not low-paying jobs with a lot of free time. There are only low-paying jobs with long working hours.

【Point 2】I would like to make the world better and need money and status.

【Point 3】People who contribute to the world do not ask for a long vacation.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】It would be nice if I could make more people can have more money and good times.

【導入＝概要】他人の苦しみを減らすのを助けるためにどちらかと言うと高給・長時間労働を選ぶ。

【要点1】薄給・短時間労働はない。薄給・長時間労働しかない。

【要点2】世界を良くしたいのでお金と地位が必要だ。

【反論処理】世界に貢献する人たちは長期休暇を要求しない。

【結論＝まとめ】より多くの人がより多くのお金と楽しい時を持つことができるならば素敵だ。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Note: The Introduction is the outline of the whole essay. The body is the detail of the introduction. The conclusion is the sum-up. What you write in the introduction and the conclusion are the same, expressed in different ways. Also, the reasons you provide in the introduction are the same that are dealt with in the body in detail. You could make a full introduction, which is complete with the hook, background, and the thesis, but sticking with writing at least the thesis is enough since you have only thirty minutes to finish the essay.

☆Sample Paragraph Development

Sample 1

【Main Idea】I would like to be a respectable person.

【Explanation】A respectable person works hard, and as a result, receives a lot of remuneration.

【Example】Doctors, lawyers, company presidents, government officials and other people in higher positions devote most of their time to their duties and they are rewarded by high income they deserve.

【Follow-up】Some of those in higher positions might not live up to public expectations, but almost all people with higher social status are diligent people who contribute to society,

【Wrap-up】I would like to be one of those adults I respect.

【主題】ちゃんとした人になりたい。

【説明】ちゃんとした人は一生懸命働き、結果として多くの報酬を受ける。

【例】医者や弁護士、会社社長、政府官僚そして他の全ての高い地位の人達は時間のほとんどを職務に捧げ、値する高収入で報われている。

【補足】高い地位にある人の中には一般の人の期待に応えていない人もいるかもしれないが、高めの社会的地位にいるほとんど全ての人は社会貢献をしている勤勉な人達だ。

【まとめ】私は尊敬するあの大人たちの一人になりたい。

Sample 2

【Main Idea】I do not want to be a cog in a machine.

【Explanation】Life of part-time workers is precarious, but the situation which current regular workers face is not so different from that of part-time workers.

【Example】The company can go bankrupt or they can loose their job if they become seriously ill.

【Follow-up】Unless you become a billionaire, you cannot have a safe and secure life, and I have no will to join this jungle-law game.

【Wrap-up】It is better for me to be eaten than to eat someone else.

【主題】機械の歯車になりたくない。

【説明】アルバイトの生活は不安定だが現在の正社員が直面する状況はアルバイトとあまり変わらない。

【例】会社が倒産するかもしれないし重病になったら失業するかもしれない。

【補足】億万長者にならない限り安全・安心な生活はできない。そして私はこの弱肉強食のゲームに参加する意思は全くない。

【まとめ】自分は食べるより食べられる方が良い。

Your Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】

【Explanation】

【Example】

【Follow-up】

【Wrap-up】