TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, Are humans making the Earth a better place to live? - rewrite -

Writing Topic

If is often said that the Earth is being seriously damaged by humans. Others feel that the ecological damage of human activity has been exaggerated, and that humans are making the Earth a better place to live. Which opinion do you agree with?

☆Let’s Think

Discussion

1.    What are the examples of the first opinion of the Writing Topic?

2.    What are the examples of the second opinion of the Writing Topic?

3.    Which opinion do you agree with?

☆Deepening Thoughts

We hear things like the first statement every day. Most people seem to agree on the view that humankind is harming the earth. Let’s take a look at the second one. It says that the idea of the first statement is an exaggeration and that we are “making the earth a better place to live.” The question is for whom are we making the earth a better place to live.

   Humans try to change nature into what humans want it to be. We build roads in plains and mountains for transportation, build structures as shelters against elements and for other purposes, or make facilities for resources such as water pipes or nuclear reactors. We build cities so that we can fend for ourselves. However, when one gets something there is another that loses it. When human society gains something involving nature (development), the environment loses something (destruction).

Effect of Human Activities over the Last 200 Years Human Activity ↙           ↘    Development of Society        ⇔   Destruction of the Environment

When we were cavemen, most of our activities were part of nature. Like other animals, we slept in our “nests,” and hunted and gathered what we needed to survive. We made a fire to cook, but it was not enough to cause global warming. Perhaps we collected pretty stones and shells for some reason, but the amount was probably not so much as to damage the environment.

   Now, highly-developed technologies allow us to affect the environment on a large scale. We clear cut forests to make towns and fields, bulldoze mountains to build towns or get minerals, and drill rocks in the desert and ocean bottoms to get oil and gas. We also kill insects with chemicals to grow food, overfish to satisfy our palate, and wipe out some species for fashion and hobbies. We pollute the air, water, and soil for production and transportation. In addition, we have started global warming by releasing a large amount of greenhouse gases into the air.

   By doing these things, we invade other animals’ natural habitats, deplete natural resources and destroy the environment. To survive, to expand our territories, and to enjoy ourselves, we are doing harm to nature. It is obvious that our activities are causing environmental strain. Our activities might make our lives convenient but affect nature.

   The word “ecological damage” in the writing topic is about disturbing ecosystem and causing decline or extinction of life. It is predicted that about one-fourth of all plants and vertebrate animals may go extinct by 2050 due to global warming. Ecological damage seems to be no exaggeration.

   Of course we cannot live like a caveman. We need energy. We need food. Development is good for us. However, it is usually bad for the environment, and in the end it is bad for us as well because humankind is part of nature.

☆Notes

1. Global Warming Controversy: There are some people and scientists who are skeptical about global warming theory, but “there is a strong consensus that global surface temperatures have increased in recent decades and that the trend is caused mainly by human-induced emissions of greenhouse gases. (Wikipedia)” Moreover, it has been reported that scientists who strongly deny global warming have received money from oil companies.

2. Climategate: In 2009, one of the global warming research centers was hacked and robbed of its emails, which were used to raise suspicions of “global warming conspiracy” or “climategate.” Based on some of the email messages, skeptics claimed that global warming was a hoax. However, rigorous investigations concluded that there was nothing wrong with what the researchers were doing and it was proved that global warming is not a hoax. (Wikipedia)”

3. An Inconvenient Truth: An Academy Award-winning documentary film about climate change, or global warming, presented by former United States Vice President Al Gore. Al Gore’s claim is that global warming is real and largely human-caused. (Wikipedia)

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction】I agree with the view that the Earth is being seriously damaged by humans because there are many evidences.

【Good Actions】Development is generally good for us humans. e.g. food, shelter, transportation, etc.

【Bad Actions】However, development has reduced forests and wild life. Industrialization has caused pollution and global warming, which are killing us humans as well as other animals.

【Now】We have not stopped development and digging fossil fuels and have not come up with decisively powerful sustainable energy resource that take place of oil.

【Conclusion】Although we may be able to compensate for the damage, irreversible changes have taken place and they are taking place faster than we can cover. Therefore, the ecological damage of human activity is no exaggeration.

【導入】多くの証拠があるので人間によって地球が深刻に損害を受けているという見方に賛成する。

【良い行動】 発展は一般的に人間にとって良い。 例 食、住、交通等

【悪い行動】しかし開発によって森林と野生動物が減少した。工業化によって汚染と温暖化が起こり他の動物同様私たち人間を殺しつつある。

【現在】開発と化石燃料の採掘を止めていないし石油に代わる決定的に強力な持続可能なエネルギー源を思いついていない。

【結論】損害を補うことはできるかもしれないが不可逆的変化が既に起こってしまったしフォローできるよりも速いスピードで起こっている。従って人間活動の生態学的損傷は決して誇張ではない。

☆Your sample essay structure

Make sure to clarify the connection between human activity and its negative/positive effects on the ecology when you write your essay on this topic.  e.g. cutting trees to build houses → fewer creatures

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Notes: 環境the environment（theは必要）、自然nature (theは不要)、緑・植物green (複数のsは不要)、

開発development（pは1個）、地球 (the) Earth/earth、温暖化を嘘だと言う人deniers

人、人類humans/humankind/human beings/human species / man（無冠詞）/humanity（複数形=humanitiesは「文系」）

☆Essay for ideas and expressions

The following essay is taken from Writing for the TOEFL iBT, Barron’s:

The quality of human life has improved greatly over the past few centuries, but Earth is being harmed more and more by human activity. As we develop our technology, we use more and more natural resources and cause more and more pollution. As our population grows, we destroy more and more natural areas in order to expand towns and cities. The Earth is being harmed, and this harms people as well.

We often act as if we have unlimited natural resources, but this isn’t true. If we cut down too many trees to build houses and make paper, not all the trees will grow back. If we catch too many fish, the fish population will get smaller and smaller. If we aren’t careful about how we use our natural resources, we will lose many of them. We are already losing some.

We don’t seem to pay attention to the amount of pollution human activity can cause. Our cars pollute the air. Our factories pollute both the air and the water. We throw our waste into rivers and streams. We act as if the air and water can clean themselves up, but they can’t.

As urban populations grow, the cities grow too, taking over more and more land. New houses, stores, and office buildings are built all the time. Land that was once forest or farms is now parking lots and apartment buildings. We seem to act as if we have unlimited land, but we don’t. We need to plan more carefully so that we use our limited land in the best way possible.

People need to respect the Earth and try to preserve it. If we don’t, we will lose all the natural resources that we depend on for life. Then what will happen?