TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, It is always good to have as much information as possible. - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Consider the following statement. It is always good to have as much information as possible. Do you agree with this idea? Support your response by including specific reasons and examples.

☆Let’s Think

Discussion

1.    Which sentence do you sympathize with more? Why?

a.    It is good to be with your friend.

b.    It is always good to be with your friend.

2.    In what situation would you be happy to have as much information as possible?

3.    Have you ever found it troublesome to have a lot of information?

☆Deepening Thoughts

Lack of information causes a lot of trouble. It leads to confusion and fear in emergencies for example. Prejudice would be used as another example. You might have heard somebody say, “I had thought such and such people were stupid and mean, but after I made friends with Mary, who was intelligent and very kind, my image of those people changed.” The problem is that until meeting Mary, the person missed good communication and relationships with the other members of the group that Mary belongs to. Stereotype is the child of lack of information, and its children are discrimination, bullying, conflicts and wars. In politics, shortage of information will destroy democracy, or vice versa.

情報不足は多くの問題を引き起こす。例えば緊急事態には混乱と恐怖を引き起こす。偏見はまた別の例として使えるだろう。「これこれの人たちはおろかで意地悪だと思っていたが知的でとても優しいメアリーに会ってからあの人たちのイメージが変わった。」と誰かが言うのを聞いたことがあるかもしれない。ここで問題なのはメアリーに会うまでその人はメアリーの属する集団の他の構成員との良い意思疎通と関係を得損ねたということだ。ステレオタイプは情報不足の子供であり、その子供たちは差別といじめと衝突そして戦争だ。政治においては情報不足は民主主義を破壊し、その逆もまた真なりだ。

Abundant information makes us happy. Compare computer graphics in the past and those we see now, for example. Examples of CGs in the past are character icons of Packman of Mario Brothers, not Super Mario Brothers. Because today’s CGs have much more information than CGs in the past, they are clearer and more real than before. When trying to understand a piece of news better, people read more than one newspaper. Before making an expensive purchase, you try to collect as many catalogues as possible and read as many reviews as you can. Plenty of information brings better recognition and confidence.

十分な情報はうれしい。例えば過去のコンピューターグラフィックスと現在私たちが見るものを比べてみなさい。古いCGの例はパックマンやマリオブラザーズ（スーパーマリオブラザーズではない）のキャラクターアイコンだ。現在のCGは過去のCGよりもずっと多くの情報があるので以前より明瞭で現実感がある。あるニュースを理解しようとすると人は新聞を2紙以上読む。高価な買い物をする前はできるだけ多くのカタログを集めようとし、できるだけ多くの評価を読もうとする。豊富な情報はより良い認識を自信をもたらす。

On the other hand, the word “always” in the statement makes you think twice before agreeing with the statement. A lot of information may do harm to us. I remember a teacher saying that we would be confused if we had extra eyes on the back side of our heads. There would be too much information to process, and we would be at a loss of which way we should take, ending up being unable to move at all. Birds have a wide view, as we say a bird’s-eye-view, but even birds have a blind spot, a narrow area in their back. This spot, from the existence of which a bird knows which side is its back and which is covered by its mates facing the other direction, could be a necessary anatomy, not just a weak point.

一方で発言の中の「常に」という言葉で賛成するのに二の足を踏んでしまう。多くの情報は害を与えるかもしれない。頭の後ろに余分な目がついていたら混乱するだろうとある先生が言ったのを覚えている。情報が多すぎて処理できずどちらに進むべきか途方に暮れ全く動けなくなるだろう。鳥は鳥観図と言うように視野が広いが鳥でさえ盲点がある。後頭部の狭い一点だ。その存在から鳥は後ろがどちらかが分かり、反対側を向く仲間の鳥によって庇（かば）われているその点は単なる弱点ではなく必要な体の構造なのかもしれない。

Probably, there are things that you had better not know depending on the kind of information, After all, who wants to know how a vomit-flavored jelly bean tastes, although Every Flavor Beans are every child’s dream come true? However, in general, the more information you have, the better recognition you have, and the problem of confusion caused by abundant information can be avoided by general knowledge such as checking the news source and shunning fake news.

恐らく情報の種類によっては知らない方が良いことはある。つまるところ吐瀉物味のジェリービーンズがどんな味か知りたい人などいないだろう。百味ビーンズは全ての子供の夢の実現だけれども。しかし一般的には情報が多ければ多いほど一層認識は良くなる。そして豊富な情報によって引き起こされる混乱の問題は情報源を確認し偽ニュースを避ける等の常識によって回避が可能だろう。

☆Hints for Points

Agree:

1.    The more information there is, the better perception of the world you can have.

e.g. higher digits → higher resolution images,  more dictionaries → better understanding of a word or expression,   the Internet → decentralization of information

2.    Information disclosure helps society progress.  e.g.Patent information disclosure helps other inventors improve the invention. The government information disclosure enables citizens learn concerning the facts about past and present activities of the government.

3.    Two heads are better than one: This saying shows the benefit of sharing information in getting better results. School often uses group activities to take advantage of this benefit for better performances.

Disagree:

1.    As the saying goes, “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” Sometimes, it becomes difficult to do a task when there is a large amount of information. A class teacher decides the amount of information to provide in the class according to the levels and characteristics of the students.

2.    It is also said that ignorance is bliss and that curiosity killed a cat. It is often better to leave something unrevealed. Trying to know more than you are supposed to could put you in trouble.  e.g. white lie. Pandora’s box

3.    There are cases in which there is something that should be protected from the exposure for the benefit of the concerned.

e.g. (1) It seems that information should be limited in some stage of life. For example, a child may be confused with many pieces of contradicting information without ability to process information well. In case of language acquisition, it is said that the number of languages a child can learn at the same time to be a real multilingual is limited, around 5 or 6.  (2) Leaking information that the public should know such as war crimes or corruptions is always done in consideration of sensitive information related to the leak such as personal information or names of related agents (spies).

☆Sample Essay Structure

Sample 1

【Introduction】I agree with the statement that it is always good to have as much information as possible.  

【Point 1】Times of lack of information were dark eras of human history.  e.g. the medieval eras in the European history, the periods of national isolation in the Japanese history

【Point 2】Having as many information sources as possible helps make a good decision. e.g. choice of school

【Counterargument-treatment】It sometimes seems difficult to make a decision when there is more information than can be processed, but the problem is in the processing process such as lack of prioritization or determination.

【Conclusion】Excessive amount of information is not a problem but a luxury which is inherently a boon as long as dealt with wisely.

【導入】できるだけ多くの情報があることは常に良いという意見に賛成する。 

【要点1】情報不足の時代は人類の歴史で暗黒時代だ。  例 ヨーロッパ史の中世、日本史の鎖国時代

【要点2】できるだけ多くの情報源があることは良い決定をするのに望ましい。 例 進学先の選択

【反論処理】処理できる以上の情報があると決定を下すのが難しく思えるときもあるが問題は優先化や断固とした決意の欠如のような処理過程にある。

【結論】過剰な量の情報は賢明に扱う限り問題ではなく本質的に恩恵である贅沢だ。

Sample 2

【Introduction】I cannot totally agree with the opinion that it is always good to have as much information as possible because there seem to be cases in which a revelation works negatively.

【Merit 1】Lack of information is dangerous.  e.g. state control of information

【Merit 2】Abundant information contributes to creativity.  e.g. public domain

【Exceptions】There are many kinds of information that should be controlled.  e.g. security, privacy, education

【Conclusion】Prudence is necessary in handling information.

【導入】暴露が逆効果になる場合があるように思えるのでできるだけ多くの情報があることは常に良いという意見に完全には賛成できない。

【長所1】情報不足は危険だ。 例 政府の情報操作

【長所2】豊富な情報は創造性に寄与する  例 公有財産

【例外】管理すべき様々な情報がある。 例 安全、プライバシー、教育.

【結論】情報の扱いには思慮深さが必要だ。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Note: as much many information/knowledge as possible （不可算）, a piece of information （数えたいとき）,

the Internet （ｔｈｅ付き”I “大文字が正式）, SNS = Social Networking Service

☆Sample Paragraph Development of Point 2 in Sample 1

【Main Idea】 Having as many information sources as possible is desirable to make a good decision.

【Explanation】 The more information you have, the more wrong decisions you can avoid.

【Example in general】 For example, a decision on the school of your choice is one which involves a few important factors.

【More Specific Example】When you decide which university you should go to, you would consult the Internet or specialists for information so that you can find a school which provides what you want to learn with the best faculty and facilities possible for the smallest expenses.

【Follow-up】Even if it takes time to decide because of many choices to compare, as long as you know what you want, you can find an answer and it will save time in the end because careful research helps eliminate bad choices beforehand.

【Conclusion】 You need to inquire as much as possible so as not to be sorry later.

【主題】 できるだけ多くの情報源があることは良い決定をするのに望ましい。

【説明】 情報が多ければ多いほどより多くの間違った情報を避けることができる。

【一般的な例】 例えば進学先の決定はいくつかの重要な要素を含む決定だ。

【より具体的な例】どの大学に行くかを決める時、学びたいことを可能な限り最高の教授陣と設備を最小の経費で提供する学校を見つけることができるようにインターネットか専門家に情報を求めるだろう。

【補足】たとえ比べる選択肢が多いため決定に時間がかかっても何が欲しいか分かっている限り答えが見つかるし、注意深い調査が前もって悪い選択をなくすのを助けるので長期的には時間の節約になる。

【結論】 後で後悔しないためにできるだけたくさん探求する必要がある。

Your Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】

【Explanation】

【Detail / Example in general】

【More Specific Detail / Example】

【Follow-up / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion】