TOEFL, iBT, Independent Writing, Games are as important for adults as they are for children. - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Consider the following statement. Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Do you agree or disagree with this idea? Support our response by including specific reasons and examples.

☆Let’s Think

There are many games for adults. We often see office workers challenging crossword puzzles or shooting something in their smartphones in the train on their way home. Old people enjoy playing scrabbles and other board games. A lot of grown-up people are found in penny arcades. It is clear that many adults play games. Still it does not directly mean that games are as important for adults as for children because people pay for not only the important but also the unimportant.

As part of brainstorming, let’s answer the following questions. What are the purposes and benefits of playing games? Do they equally benefit from play games?

☆Hints for Points

We play games …

1.    to have fun, release stress, etc.

2.    to get to know each other well, mingle with others, make friends, etc.

3.    to learn how to communicate, learn about life, etc.

4.    for intellectual training, to learn some skills, etc.

☆Essay Structure

♦Sample Essay Structures in the case that you have two or three reasons to support your argument

Sample 1

【Introduction = Outline】I agree with the statement that games are as important for adults as they are for children.

【Point 1】Adults can benefit from games as much as children.

【Point 2】Games have been part of culture and thus they are indispensable for both adults and children.

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】It is true that play is the main job of children not adults. However, the line between play and work is actually difficult to draw.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Humans develop all through their lives and games can play as important a role for adults as for children.   

Sample 2

【Introduction = Outline】I disagree with the statement that games are as important for adults as they are for children.

【Point 1】Adults have more important things to do than playing games. They play games in leisure time.

【Point 2】Children play games all the time as games provide help for learning before practical learning.

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】 Adults as well as children need to have fun, but people find different ways to have fun as they grow up.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Games are just for fun for adults and they are significant mainly for those who are in the early stages of life.

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆手順

1．Writing Topicの確認: 課題を正確に読みとり要求されている解答内容をイメージします。

2．Brainstorming: 課題に関して思いつくことを書き出します。（頭の中にある材料を頭の外に出して整理しやすくする作業です。）

3．構成: Brainstormingで書き出した材料を整理してエッセイの基本構造に合う形にします。（１）同じ事項に関するものは同じ段落に集めます。（２）段落を重要な順に並べ替えます。

4．書く: 構成でできた段落（本論）に導入と結論の段落をつけ、実際の文章にします。

5．見直し: 論旨の矛盾、説明不足、構文・つづり・句読点等のミスをチェックします。

☆構成

英文エッセイは簡単に言うと【主張（～だと思う）→理由（なぜなら…だからだ）→結論（従って～だと言える）】という流れになります。この流れの各部分は以下のようにIntroduction, Body, Conclusionと呼ばれています。

英文エッセイの基本構造 主張＝Introduction (Thesis)　導入 理由＝Body　本論 結論＝Conclusion　結論

主張＝Introductionでは意見と根拠の要旨を示します。エッセイの概略の段落です。エッセイ全体が見通せるように書きましょう。

理由＝Bodyでは根拠を列挙します。具体例はここに書きます。

結論＝Conclusionでは本論から導き出せる結論を書きます。エッセイの総括の段落です。

Bodyでは示したい根拠の数だけ段落を作ります。例えば主張の理由が2つある場合、Bodyは2段落になります。

英文エッセイでは全体がこの流れになると同時に各段落もこの流れ（主張→理由→結論）になるようにします。

余裕がある場合はIntroductionを更に細かい(1) Hook（つかみ）(2) Background（背景説明）(3) Thesis（主張）(4) Reasons（理由）の構成にし、Conclusionでは最後にinsight（掘り下げの一文）をつけるとより形が整います。

以下は、次のWriting Topicに対するエッセイ構成メモとエッセイ例です。

Writing Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. It is truly enjoyable to play a game only if you win. Support your response with specific reasons and examples.

エッセイ構成メモ

Introduction

Disagree　 Reasons: 1) for fun    2) joy of improvement     3) more enjoyable things than winning

Body

Reason 1: Games are for fun.   e.g.to kill time, to spend time with family or friends

Reason 2: Playing a game involves joy of improvement   e.g. gamers

Reason 3: More enjoyable things than winning can happen during a game. 　e.g. a great performance

Conclusion

Conclusion: Many other factors to make us truly enjoy ourselves than winning  →It cannot be said that it is truly enjoyable to play a game only if you win.

エッセイ例

Humans have had many kinds of games since ancient times and there seem to be many reasons for our fascination with this activity. I disagree with the statement that it is truly enjoyable to play a game only if you win. I think gams are for fun, development and more, not just for winning.

First of all, we play games to have fun. We play games to kill time, to release stress, or to spend time with others. When you feel empty or stressed out, you take out a game machine, play it for a while, and feel good whether you lose or win. Games are also used to promote good companionship. At a party, for example, a game helps people laugh and talk, both winners and losers enjoying themselves. Probably it is precisely because games are not to win but for fun that people enjoy them.

Also, playing a game involves joy of improvement. Humans, like other animals, have desire for learning something new and fulfilling this desire is a great joy of life. A game makes you lose more often than it lets you win, and you will be absorbed in gaining new skills and improving yourself by trial and error. What makes games enjoyable is not only reaching the top but the process.

Last but not least, more enjoyable things than winning can happen during a game. There could be a moment of delight comparable to nothing in a game. There could be a great player or an incredible play. Olympians often express joy of witnessing superb performances of the medalists. A miracle goal at the last moment in an amateur soccer game would make all the participants excited and have them talk about it even years later. A mindset of not being able to truly enjoy a game without winning is one that has lost the essence of enjoying games.

It is true that winning a game can give us a greater joy than just having fun or learning new skills. However, difference in degrees does not deny the authenticity of the less in degree. Winning is an extra delight in playing a game. There are many factors to make us truly enjoy ourselves than winning in games. Therefore, it cannot be said that it is truly enjoyable to play a game only if you win. A mindset that does not allow one to truly enjoy games other than winning them is one that has lost sight of the essence of enjoying games.

 (417 words)