TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, There is no benefit in keeping animals in zoos.

Writing Topic A: Do you agree with the following opinion? There is no benefit in keeping animals in zoos. Give specific reasons to support your answer.

 

☆Let’s think

The statement has the word “no” and there are few things that can be described with no because there are usually some exceptions. If there is some benefit in keeping animals in zoos, it is impossible to say there is no benefit in it. Hence you disagree with the statement. To agree with the statement, it is necessary not only to point out drawbacks but also disprove what proponents name as benefits in keeping animals in zoos to be precise.

 

☆Hints for points

 

Disagree

1.    Zoos have educational benefits.

Children can learn about life and the importance of protecting nature.

 

2.    Zoos contribute to preservation.

Some endangered species are kept and bread successfully in zoos.

 

3.    Today’s zoos provide better environment to animals than before..

Cages are larger and cleaner than before. Some zoos are natural parks where animals freely move around.

 

Conclusion: There are some benefits in keeping animals in zoos.

 

Agree:

1.    It is cruel to keep animals in zoos.

The place is unnatural, unclean, and stressful. No matter how much improvement has been made, artificial environment is no match for the natural environment.

 

2.    The educational value of zoos is doubtful.

They look and act differently from those in the wild.

There are books and videos to learn about animals and for the hands-on experience of real animals we have domestic animals such as rabbits, turtles, and parrots that most schools keep.

 

3.    The contribution of zoos to conservation is pointless. Rather than trying to artificially revive endangered species, reviving the environment of their original habitat is the way to go.

 

 

 

☆Essay Structure

♦Sample Essay Structures in the case that you have two or three reasons to support your argument

 

Sample 1

【Introduction = Outline】　主張と理由の概要

I disagree with the statement that there is no benefit in keeping animals in zoos.

【Point 1】理由1の詳細

Zoos entertain many people.

【Point 2】理由2の詳細

Zoos contribute to preservation.

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】理由3の詳細または反論の処理

It is true that there are points that makes it questionable to keep animals in zoos. Keeping animals in unnatural environments is ethically wrong and actually many animals suffer from diseases and stress, but as long as there are people who actually enjoy themselves visiting there, it is impossible to say that there is no benefit in the existence of zoos.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】結論

Although I myself cannot enjoy seeing confined animals anymore, I cannot totally agree with the notion that zoos are good for nothing as I have no intention of rejecting some people’s fascination to zoos.

 

Sample 2

【Introduction = Outline】　主張と理由の概要

I totally agree with the statement that there is no benefit in keeping animals in zoos.

【Point 1】理由1の詳細

It is cruel to keep animals in zoos.

【Point 2】理由2の詳細

The educational value of zoos is doubtful.

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】理由3の詳細または反論の処理

It is true that some zoos have successfully preserved some endangered species, but the project is rather pointless because the original environment of those animals have been lost or changed. Sending them back to nature will either fail or cause other problems.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】結論

Zoos are no better than freak shows that violate animal rights. Therefore, humans should evolve to have no zoos in the future. True animal lovers are to go into the wild themselves, not the other way (a)round.

 

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

 

【Point 1】

 

 

【Point 2】

 

 

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

 

 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

 

 

 

 

Writing topic B: Many high schools in various countries make their students wear uniforms on campus, but there are other high schools which allow their students to wear whatever clothes they like within certain limits. Using specific examples and reasons, discuss these policies. Which do you think is the better policy?

 

☆Let’s think

There are two tasks assigned to you in this writing topic. One is discussing the two policies on high school dress codes and the other is deciding which is the better policy.

☆Hints for points

Uniform policy

.

1.    To have students wear uniform is to control students.

School intends to have less trouble by making students wear uniforms.

e.g.

 

2.    Uniforms make it clear that school is the place for study.

It sends students a massage that they should be focused on study, not in fashion.

e.g.

 

3.    Uniforms help equal treatment.

It is fair for students with financial difficulties. They do not have to feel afraid of being treated unfairly because of their appearances.

   e.g.

 

 

Non-uniform policy

1.    The policy to allow students to wear any clothes with certain limitations shows that the school expects students to have some autonomy.

Students will learn to be responsible for fundamental aspects in their lives.

e.g.

 

2.    Assigning clothing choice will help students become socialized.

By being responsible for what they wear, high school students can learn to dress themselves according to purposes and occasions.

e.g.

 

3.    No uniform policy can make high school life more enjoyable and memorable.

Clothing is an important element for communication and joy of life.

e.g.

 

 

♦Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】Although it is at the discretion of the school to decide its dress codes, I would rather high schools to respect their students’ humanity.

【Point 1】Having students wear uniform is to control students.

【Point 2】A The policy to allow students to wear any clothes with certain limitations shows that the school expects students to have some autonomy.

【Point 3】

Uniform is the reminder of responsibility of having a certain occupations or being in a certain social status. Putting high school students in school uniforms is treating them as children who still need to be watched.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

No uniform policy seems better to me because I think high school students should be treated as adults in fundamental aspects of life.

 

 

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

 

【Point 1】

 

 

【Point 2】

 

 

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

 

 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

 

☆Paragraph development

A paragraph of the body of an essay often develops its main idea as follows:

【Main Idea】Having students wear uniform is to control students.

【Explanation】School intends to have less trouble by making students wear uniforms.

【Detail / Example】 For example, uniforms put pressures on behaviors.

【More Specific Detail / Example】The assumption is that students will less likely end up in places where they are not supposed to be or be involved in unacceptable activities when they are in uniforms although on weekends students go out in their daily clothes and still they are the students of the school they belong to.

【Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】 It cannot be denied that there are some good effects of uniforms such as promoting a simple lifestyle or nurturing a sense of belonging to the school, but the negative influence of feeling the school authority imposed on them in the form of uniform is too strong to ignore.

【Conclusion】The policy will limit the development of students’ personality by explicitly showing that they are watched and controlled.

 

 

Your test paragraph development

Now let’s practice paragraph development. Choose one of the reasons you have come up with, make it the main idea, and develop it using the following form. As this is a tentative part of your real essay, use simple words and sentences for supporting details and focus on the logic and ideas.

 

【Main Idea】

 

 

【Explanation】

 

 

 

【Detail / Example in general】

 

 

 

【More Specific Detail / Example】

 

 

 

 

【Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】