TOEFL, iBT, Independent Writing, Which means of transportaion would you choose to travel from you home ot a place 100 miles from you home?. - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Suppose that you wish to travel from your home to a place 100 miles (160 kilometers) from your home. Discuss the different types of transportation you might use, and compare the merits of the various forms of transport. Which manner of travel would you choose, and why?

☆Let’s Think

A question that requires you to discuss possible choices under some conditions and choose one:

This writing topic sets a specific condition and directs you to compare the merits of the choices under the condition before writing about your choice. You could use your thought process of narrowing down the choices to answer this type of question.

♦A Sample Thought Process

1.    Discuss the conditions and narrow down the choices according to the conditions.

2.    Discuss the choices left.

3.    Make a conclusion giving reasons.

Sample Writing Topic for the Sample Though Process above: A foreign visitor has only one day to spend in your country. Discuss the different possible destinations. Where do you think this visitor should go? Why?

♦Sample answer following the sample thought process

1.    Discussing the conditions, and narrowing down the choices according to the conditions.

A foreign visitor might want to experience something that represents the country. Also, the person might want to see as many aspects of the country as possible. However, there is only one day to spend, so the person might not want to waste time for transit unless the transit itself serves as an experience like riding the Japanese high-speed railway line. For example, seeing contemporary Japan in Tokyo and then traditional Japan in a mountain village in Shikoku in a day is, while attractive, impossible because it takes half a day to move from one to the other.

2.    Discussing the choices that have been left.

There are many attractive sightseeing spots in Japan. Hokkaido would be a good place to visit for those who want to enjoy nature and good food. It is also famous for its annual snow festival with huge snow sculptures. Okinawa, the area of southern islands, has distinct cultures and great hospitality. Kyoto, the old capital, would be the place to visit to experience the essence of Japanese traditional culture. All are most popular tourist destinations in Japan but each individually cannot represent today’s Japan as a whole.

3.    Making a conclusion giving reasons.

I think the visitor should visit Tsukishima, Tokyo. Although not famous, it has both the high-technology and the traditional life of Japan existing side by side with a great contrast. Juxtaposed to state-of-the-art buildings are good old residences, small factories, and eateries serving the local specialty, monja. Businessmen quickly pass an old lady pushing a cart slowly on the sidewalk. This is an old business district near Tokyo Bay that has been experiencing a rapid development over the past ten years. After strolling here for a few hours and feeling a fragment of real Japan, the visitor could take a short train-ride to the Sky Tree Tower and Sensoji Temple nearby, the latest and the oldest sightseeing spots respectively for postcards and souvenirs.

Now let us go back to today’s topic and follow the sample thought process.

1.    Let’s discuss the condition and narrow down the choices according to the condition.

e.g. I live in the center of Tokyo, so a place 100 miles from my place is farther than my school and closer than my grandparents’ place where I usually visit by car.

I live in                                , so the place 100 miles from my place is farther than

                                     and closer than                                              .

e.g. For a 100-mile trip, taking an airplane would not be a good idea because it is too expensive and rather bothersome. Bicycle would also not be an ideal choice because it consumes your energy.

Choices:

【Transportations: an airplane, a bullet train, a train, a bus, a car, a motorbike, a bicycle, etc.】

【Reasons: expensive, time-consuming, troublesome, tiresome, slow, etc.】

For a 100-mile trip/using/taking/riding               would not be a good idea because

                 would also not be an ideal choice because

2.    Let’s discuss the merits of the choices left.

e.g  I could take a train because it allows me to do my work or sleep. It is also punctual and safer. Riding a bus would also be good because it has a good view.

Choices:

【Transportations: a bullet train, a train, a bus, a car, a motorbike, etc.】

【Reasons: fast, safe, inexpensive, punctual, spacious, relaxing, flexible, free, environmentally-friendly, no traffic jam, allows you to do many sings in it, lets you enjoy the view, you don’t have to carry your baggage around, you don’t have to worry about missing your stop, etc.】

♦I could ride/take                 because

                                    

♦Taking/Riding                 would also be good because

3.    Let’s make a conclusion giving reasons.

Note: The question does not require that you reach an objective conclusion. It is about your choice, in other words, about your preference. Therefore you could choose a car because, for example, you like driving!

e.g  I would ride my car to get to the destination because I can start and stop whenever I like.

I would                 because

NOTE: 「交通」transportation （不可算）、「交通手段」means of transportation

Pre-TOEFL writing, Parents should make important decisions for their older teenage children

Writing Topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older (16-18 year-old) teenaged children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

☆Let’s Think

The phrase “other adult relatives” would be for cases people like grandparents or uncles or aunts are playing the role of the older teenager’s parents for some reason. 16-18-yea- old people are high school students in general. They are between older children and young adults. Examples of important decisions might be decisions on whether to have a part-time job, whether to study abroad, or whether to go to university or not.

☆Hints for Points

Yes, because …

1.    parents are responsible for their children’s actions till they become independent.

2.    adults usually have more experience, knowledge, and common sense than their children.

No, because …

1.    one should decide one’s own future.

2.    high school students already have established a sense of self.

☆Sample Essay Structures

Sample 1

【Introduction = Outline】It is parents not their children that should finalize an important decision-making.

【Point 1】Those in parental custody should not make an important decision.  e.g. mentally dependent on their custodians

【Point 2】Parents know their children best and can see the whole picture.  e.g. quitting school

【Counterargument-treatment】Parents should allow their children some freedom and respect their personality, but when it comes to a key decision, parents are the ones who take all the responsibility especially when some problem occurs.   e.g. traffic accident

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Major decisions should be made by those who are responsible for the results.

Sample 2

【Introduction = Outline】I entirely disagree with the idea that people aged 16 to 18 should leave important decision-making about them to their parents.

【Point 1】Older teens are mature enough to decide important things by themselves.  e.g. voting right

【Point 2】Important decisions are related to children’s future, who will face the consequences.

e.g. whether to go to college or not, which major to choose

【Counterargument-treatment】Mistakes may occur, but trial and error is necessary to be independent.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】 late teens can make a right decision and not allowing it is over-parenting.

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Pre-TOEFL writing, why automobiles/bicycles/airplanes have changed people’s lives?

Writing Topic

Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives: automobiles/bicycles/airplanes. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

☆Let’s Think

How can we prove something has changed people’s lives? One way would be to show how our lives are different before and after the change. For example, before the popularization of the jet-plane, not many people used to go overseas and doing it was expensive, but, in these days, people use the plane not only for business but also for fun, expanding and diversifying their activities.

☆Hints for Points

Automobiles

1.    have helped development by increasing mobility of goods and people.  Cars have taken places of horses.

2.    have enabled people to travel around the country. Many people never left their hometown till they die.

3.    have made our future insecure by causing global warming.

Bicycles

1.    have increased mobility of people, especially those who did not have cars or horses.  increased freedom for many people, especially females

2.    have become a new sport or means of exercise.  

3.    currently are appreciated as an environmentally-friendly means of transportation.

Airplanes

1.    have accelerated globalization, making international mobility of materials and people faster. 

e.g.  international mail and packages reaching their destinations much faster than before

2.    have allowed many people to enjoy international tours.  

3.    have increased the proliferation (spread) of organisms around the globe  e.g. extinction, pandemic

☆Sample Essay Structures

【Introduction = Outline】Cars have expanded the sphere of our activity and changed the outlook of society.

【change 1】Automobiles have made our travel freer.  e.g. more flexible than trains or horses

【change 2】Economic activities have become more robust than before, revolutionized the industry, and changed urban landscapes.  e.g. easier shipping, faster transport, development of cities

【change 3】Cars have had a strong impact on our lives and the environment.  e.g. obsession with efficiency, less green due to the increase of roads, noise, accidents, air pollution, climate change

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Automobiles seem to have helped make us anomalous as a species.

Note: 「～に影響を与える」have an effect/influence/impact on (give effect to) ～, affect/influence ～

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Pre-TOEFL writing, good points and bad points of my town or city to live in in the eye of someone I know

Writing Topic

A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

☆Let’s Think

That there is no place like home is in the eye of the beholder. In the eye of a stranger, a person you know, your town or city has a short-coming or two. Objective view of your town would help you to come up with the response to this writing topic question.

☆Hints for Points

1.    many/few facilities for entertainment/study/networking

2.    buildings and streets with beautiful/shabby appearances

3.    sufficient/insufficient transportation systems

4.    existence/absence of scholarship program/free tuition

5.    dense population/under population

6.    caring/apathetic neighbors

☆Sample Essay Structures

Sample 1

【Introduction = Outline】If one of my acquaintances plans to visit my city, the person would find it very exciting to live in but probably dislike the environment.

【good point 1】My city has many stylish places for fun and cultural facilities.  e.g. award-winning bakeries, museums and galleries

【good point 2】It is easy to get around in and out of my city.  e.g. easy access to the subway stations and highways

【bad point】Lack of nature would make some unhappy.  air pollution, noise

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Although it is not perfect to inhabit for a long time, my city is an inspiring place for most people.

Sample 2

【Introduction = Outline】I live in a college town in the middle of the mountains. Most people may find my town boring and a little inconvenient, but bookworms may like to live in it.

【bad point 1】 There are few facilities.  e.g. few coffee shops or restaurants, no sports center

【bad point 2】 The municipal office does not collect some types of waste.   cardboard boxes, fluorescent light bulbs

【good point】There are many facilities for reading. e. g. many book stores, a good library, a museum dedicated to a famous cartoonist. 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】 Other than a small garbage-related problem, the living conditions of my town would be judged good especially for students.

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

TOEFL, iBT, Independent Writing, Anthropogenic impact on the environment - rewrite -

Anthropogenic impact on the environment

Writing Topic

If is often said that the Earth is being seriously damaged by humans. Others feel that the ecological damage of human activity has been exaggerated, and that humans are making the Earth a better place to live. Which opinion do you agree with?

☆Let’s Think

We hear things like the first statement every day. Most people seem to agree on the view that humankind is harming the earth. Let’s take a look at the second one. It says that the idea of the first statement is an exaggeration and that we are “making the earth a better place to live.” The question is for whom are we making the earth a better place to live.

   Humans try to change nature into what humans want to be. We build roads in fields and mountains for transportation, build structures as shelters from elements and for other purposes, or make facilities for energy such as water pipes or nuclear reactors. We build cities so that we can live fending for ourselves together. However, when one gets something there is another that loses it. When human society gains something involving nature (development), the environment loses something (destruction).

Human Activity ↙           ↘ Development of Society    ⇔   Destruction of the Environment

When we were cavemen, most of our activities were part of nature. Like other animals, we slept in our “nests,” and hunted and gathered what we needed to survive. We made a fire to cook, but it was not enough to cause global warming. Perhaps we collected pretty stones and shells for some reason, but the amount was probably not so much as to damage the environment.

   Now, highly-developed technologies allow us to affect the environment on a large scale. We clear cut forests to make towns and fields, bulldoze mountains to get minerals, and drill rocks in the desert and ocean bottoms to get oil and gas. We also kill insects with chemicals to grow food, overfish to satisfy our palate, and wipe out some species for fashion and hobbies. We pollute the air, water, and soil for production and transportation. In addition, we have started global warming by releasing a large amount of greenhouse gases into the air.

   By doing these things, we invade other animals’ natural habitats, deplete natural resources and destroy the environment. To survive, to expand our territories, and to enjoy ourselves, we are doing harm to nature. It is obvious that our activities are causing environmental strain. Our activities might make our lives better but affect nature.

   The word “ecological damage” in the writing topic is about disturbing Mother Earth and causing decline or extinction of lives. It is predicted that about one-fourth of all plants and vertebrate animals may go extinct by 2050 due to global warming. Ecological damage seems to be no exaggeration.

   Of course we cannot live like a caveman. We need energy. We need food. Development is good for us. However, it is usually bad for the environment, and in the end it is bad for us as well because humankind is part of nature.

☆Notes

1. Global Warming Controversy: There are some people and scientists who are skeptical about global warming theory, but “there is a strong consensus that global surface temperatures have increased in recent decades and that the trend is caused mainly by human-induced emissions of greenhouse gases. (Wikipedia)” Moreover, it has been reported that scientists who strongly deny global warming have received money from oil companies.

2. Climategate: In 2009, one of the global warming research centers was hacked and robbed of its emails, which were used to raise suspicions of “global warming conspiracy” or “climategate.” Based on some of the email messages, skeptics claimed that global warming was a hoax. However, rigorous investigations concluded that there was nothing wrong with what the researchers were doing and it was proved that global warming is not a hoax: “Over the course of the next year, six independent investigations looked into the allegations. None of the inquiries found evidence of fraud or scientific misconduct. (Wikipedia)”

3. An Inconvenient Truth: An Academy Award-winning documentary film about climate change, or global warming, presented by former United States Vice President Al Gore. Al Gore’s claim is that global warming is real and largely human-caused. (Wikipedia)

☆Essay Structure

♦Sample essay structure in the case that you have two or three reasons to support your argument

【Introduction = Outline】I agree with the view that the Earth is being seriously damaged by humans because there are many historical evidences.

【Point 1】 Civilizations has harmed the environment and made many species go extinct. 

e.g.  agriculture → water shortage, methane emissions  meat-eating → extinctions of game animals

【Point 2】 Global warming and pollution are killing us as well as other life.

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】Even though technology compensate for the damage, irreversible changes have already taken place.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Development is largely good for us humans, but the ecological damage of human activity is no exaggeration.

Notes:

(1) A counterargument is an argument that points out a vulnerable part of your argument. Taking up a counterargument and rebutting it will make your essay more convincing. When there is a counterargument that most people seem to come up with, avoiding it will make your argument week. Thus, let’s take up counterarguments, deal with them logically, and get a high score.    

(2) typical mistakes related to this topic: 「環境」the environment（theは必要）、「自然」nature (theは不要)、「緑・植物」green (複数のsは不要)、「開発」development（pは1個）、「地球」(the) Earth/earth、「人、人類」humans/humankind/human beings/human species / man （無冠詞）/humanity（複数形=humanitiesは「文系」）

☆Your sample essay structure

Please keep it in mind to clarify the connection between human activity and its negative/positive effects on the ecology when you write your essay on this topic. 

e.g. cutting trees to build houses → fewer creatures → destruction of the eco-system

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Essay for ideas and expressions

The following essay is taken from Writing for the TOEFL iBT, Barron’s:

xxx

国際教養AO入試 reference, religious bondage

Losing my religion: life after extreme belief

The Guardian   April 10, 2016

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/apr/10/losing-my-religion-life-after-extreme-belief-faith

Pre-TOEFL writing, Has preparation of food becoming easier improved our lives?

Writing Topic

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

☆Let’s Think

That food has become easier to prepare means it has become faster and less troublesome thanks to the technological advancement such as the electrification of cooking tools, invention of instant food, and development of ready-to-eat food industry, food has become easier to prepare. Now. technological advancement has both good points and bad points, so this change may not have improved the way people live in all aspects of life.

☆Hints for Points

Good points

1.    faster, saves time, helps make time to do other things

2.    reduce stress related to cooking especially for mothers

Bad points

1.    loss of skills, loss of tradition

2.    less communication between family members

3.    fewer chances to develop creativity

4.    lower dietary life: less tasty, less enjoyable in texture, not fresh, less healthy, contain a lot of chemicals such as additives and preservatives

☆Sample Essay Structures

Sample 1

【Introduction = Outline】Less time to prepare food means more time to improve life.

【good point 1】Reduction of cooking time lead to higher production.  e.g. rice cooker

【good point 2】Release from manual labor leads to higher mental activity.  e.g. social reform lead by housewives

【counterargument-treatment】Some might deplore decline of food culture. However, those interested in cooking are even more enthusiastic about improving their eating experience.   e.g. cook books

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Efficiency is fundamentally helpful in improving life.

Sample 2

【Introduction = Outline】It is true that most of us have experienced the convenience of this change. However, it is doubtful whether it has improved our lives especially in terms of quality.

【good points】Electric appliances and convenience food save us time to do other things although most of us have become busier because of increased workload assigned for the extra time saved by the technology.

【bad point 1】The strong tastes of ready-to-eat foods make you less sensitive about tastes and they are addictive.  e.g. very sweet or salty food with a lot of fat in it

【bad point 2】 An important part of life is lost by the reduction of the cooking process.  e.g. People do not make traditional food such as ohagi cakes for ancestors any more or few families pound mochi, rice cakes for New Year’s feast, together these days. 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】 Diet makes up a significant part of life, and simplified cooking has somewhat lowered the quality of our life by making it gross.

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】