TOEFL, iBT, Independent Writing, Anthropogenic impact on the environment - rewrite -

Anthropogenic impact on the environment

Writing Topic

If is often said that the Earth is being seriously damaged by humans. Others feel that the ecological damage of human activity has been exaggerated, and that humans are making the Earth a better place to live. Which opinion do you agree with?

☆Let’s Think

We hear things like the first statement every day. Most people seem to agree on the view that humankind is harming the earth. Let’s take a look at the second one. It says that the idea of the first statement is an exaggeration and that we are “making the earth a better place to live.” The question is for whom are we making the earth a better place to live.

   Humans try to change nature into what humans want to be. We build roads in fields and mountains for transportation, build structures as shelters from elements and for other purposes, or make facilities for energy such as water pipes or nuclear reactors. We build cities so that we can live fending for ourselves together. However, when one gets something there is another that loses it. When human society gains something involving nature (development), the environment loses something (destruction).

Human Activity ↙           ↘ Development of Society    ⇔   Destruction of the Environment

When we were cavemen, most of our activities were part of nature. Like other animals, we slept in our “nests,” and hunted and gathered what we needed to survive. We made a fire to cook, but it was not enough to cause global warming. Perhaps we collected pretty stones and shells for some reason, but the amount was probably not so much as to damage the environment.

   Now, highly-developed technologies allow us to affect the environment on a large scale. We clear cut forests to make towns and fields, bulldoze mountains to get minerals, and drill rocks in the desert and ocean bottoms to get oil and gas. We also kill insects with chemicals to grow food, overfish to satisfy our palate, and wipe out some species for fashion and hobbies. We pollute the air, water, and soil for production and transportation. In addition, we have started global warming by releasing a large amount of greenhouse gases into the air.

   By doing these things, we invade other animals’ natural habitats, deplete natural resources and destroy the environment. To survive, to expand our territories, and to enjoy ourselves, we are doing harm to nature. It is obvious that our activities are causing environmental strain. Our activities might make our lives better but affect nature.

   The word “ecological damage” in the writing topic is about disturbing Mother Earth and causing decline or extinction of lives. It is predicted that about one-fourth of all plants and vertebrate animals may go extinct by 2050 due to global warming. Ecological damage seems to be no exaggeration.

   Of course we cannot live like a caveman. We need energy. We need food. Development is good for us. However, it is usually bad for the environment, and in the end it is bad for us as well because humankind is part of nature.

☆Notes

1. Global Warming Controversy: There are some people and scientists who are skeptical about global warming theory, but “there is a strong consensus that global surface temperatures have increased in recent decades and that the trend is caused mainly by human-induced emissions of greenhouse gases. (Wikipedia)” Moreover, it has been reported that scientists who strongly deny global warming have received money from oil companies.

2. Climategate: In 2009, one of the global warming research centers was hacked and robbed of its emails, which were used to raise suspicions of “global warming conspiracy” or “climategate.” Based on some of the email messages, skeptics claimed that global warming was a hoax. However, rigorous investigations concluded that there was nothing wrong with what the researchers were doing and it was proved that global warming is not a hoax: “Over the course of the next year, six independent investigations looked into the allegations. None of the inquiries found evidence of fraud or scientific misconduct. (Wikipedia)”

3. An Inconvenient Truth: An Academy Award-winning documentary film about climate change, or global warming, presented by former United States Vice President Al Gore. Al Gore’s claim is that global warming is real and largely human-caused. (Wikipedia)

☆Essay Structure

♦Sample essay structure in the case that you have two or three reasons to support your argument

【Introduction = Outline】I agree with the view that the Earth is being seriously damaged by humans because there are many historical evidences.

【Point 1】 Civilizations has harmed the environment and made many species go extinct. 

e.g.  agriculture → water shortage, methane emissions  meat-eating → extinctions of game animals

【Point 2】 Global warming and pollution are killing us as well as other life.

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】Even though technology compensate for the damage, irreversible changes have already taken place.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Development is largely good for us humans, but the ecological damage of human activity is no exaggeration.

Notes:

(1) A counterargument is an argument that points out a vulnerable part of your argument. Taking up a counterargument and rebutting it will make your essay more convincing. When there is a counterargument that most people seem to come up with, avoiding it will make your argument week. Thus, let’s take up counterarguments, deal with them logically, and get a high score.    

(2) typical mistakes related to this topic: 「環境」the environment（theは必要）、「自然」nature (theは不要)、「緑・植物」green (複数のsは不要)、「開発」development（pは1個）、「地球」(the) Earth/earth、「人、人類」humans/humankind/human beings/human species / man （無冠詞）/humanity（複数形=humanitiesは「文系」）

☆Your sample essay structure

Please keep it in mind to clarify the connection between human activity and its negative/positive effects on the ecology when you write your essay on this topic. 

e.g. cutting trees to build houses → fewer creatures → destruction of the eco-system

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Essay for ideas and expressions

The following essay is taken from Writing for the TOEFL iBT, Barron’s:

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