TOEFL iBT. Independent Writing, What would you choose to learn about the future? - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Imagine that you had the power to know one thing about the future. What would you choose to learn and why? Offer specific reasons and details to support your choice.

☆Let’s Think

Discussion

1)    In the Sci-fi classic, Back to the Future, one of the characters, accidentally visiting the future with the main character, gets a copy of almanac to get some future information in gambling and tries to get rich. The main character, on the other hand, tries to fix his family bond. Which character do you sympathize?

2)    What is your main concern about the future? Here are some keys for your response:

I would like to know about the future related to

the environments: climate change, nuclear wars, etc.

world: geopolitical map, the gap between the rich and the poor, etc.

economy: next financial meltdown, etc.

medicine: highly-sophisticated medical technology, etc.

culture: fashion, language, food, etc.

life: the future outlook of my country, the day I die, etc.

3)    What makes you concerned about it?

4)    How would knowing about it benefit you?

☆Hints for Points

1.    Will my favorite species have gone extinct in the future?

2.    How do future humans/animals/plants look?

3.    Will the energy policy go well?

4.    Will the world be governed by a few extremely rich people?

5.    Will an economic system free from depressions have been established?

6.    What kind of music will the future people be listening to?

7.    Will baseball still be played in the future?

8.    Will we be having “natural” human relationships in the future?

9.    Will Japan be more internationalized?

10.  How long will I live?

☆Essay Structure

Sample 1

【Introduction】If I had the power to know one thing about the future, I would like to know if the number of psychopaths will increase in the future because it seems to me to be related to the end of our species.

【What is psychopath?】Psychopathy is a mainly congenital disorder that shows lack of empathy.

【My concern 】It seems that psychopaths will prevail in number because they can do anything without qualms. If so, treatment and education methods for them need to be developed as soon as possible.

【Counterargument-treatment】A scientific experiment in a form of a game showed that people who easily deceive and betray others for their own good do well at first but not necessarily win because of the defense or offence given later by the people they had cheated. However, this would not always apply to reality as there are cases in which the first attack is fatal.

【Conclusion】Biology and cultural anthropology tell us species with sociality will thrive. In the Darwinian sense, psychopaths might well thrive in the future and end the history of mankind. Therefore, I would like to see the result and do something for it if necessary if I could.

【主張=概略】もし将来に関してひとつ知る力があるならば、サイコパス（反社会性人格障害者）の数が将来増えるかどうかについて知りたい。なぜなら私たちの種の終わりに関連しているように思えるからだ。

【ｻｲｺﾊﾟｽとは】サイコパス的人格は共感が欠如している主に先天性の障害だ。

【自分の関心】サイコパスは平気で何でもできるので数が優勢になるように思える。もしそうなら彼らの為の治療法と教育法ができるだけ早く開発される必要がある。

【反論処理】ゲームの形をとったある科学的実験は自分の利益のために容易に他人をだまし裏切る人は最初はうまくやるが、ズルをされた人が後で防御したり攻撃したりするので必ずしも勝たないということを示している。しかし最初の攻撃が致命的な場合があるので現実には必ずしも当てはまらないだろう。

【結論＝総括】生物学と文化人類学によれば社会性のある種は反映する。進化論的な意味でサイコパスが将来繁栄すれば人類の歴史は終わるかもしれない。できるなら結果を見て必要ならなにか対処したい。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】It seems that psychopaths will prevail in number because they can do anything with no qualm. If so, treatment and education methods for them need to be developed as soon as possible.

【Explanation】It is said that psychopaths lie about and even kill others to get what they want without guilt. Many are attractive, intelligent people, so that people around them do not notice their problem. There are psychopaths even among people with respectable occupations such as CEOs, lawyers, or surgeons. Since successful people have more chances to leave offspring, this trait of theirs will be more likely to be passed down. Moreover, as children of rich families are more likely to survive in competition, this trait will be augmented in our species.

【Detail in General】Such humane feelings as trust, sympathy, or mercy will be rare. Psychopaths take advantage of these feelings of others relentlessly. I suspect that in the beginning of our history, we had fewer of them than now, and through the mechanism of the survival of the fittest, we have attained the current rate of one out of four or five. Culture has the power to contain anti-social behavior, but, based on materialism, the culture spreading around the world now seems to not just lack this power but promote this behavior. The future will be a paradise for psychopaths. In the future, psychopaths can kill each other and humankind can see its own demise.

【Specific Detail】For example, a psychopathic ruler can attack a country in the Middle East just for his own interest and be retaliated by a psychopathic ruler who happened to be looking for an excuse to attack some country to make up for his past lie, triggering the world nuclear war. Psychopaths never care about those who will die or be injured. They never fear committing genocide.

【Follow-up】It is said that there is no cure for psychopathic personality, but science has made impossible possible in the past. Also, as all the humans are descendants of the past survivors, we all might well have more or less of the disposition.

【Wrap-up】Psychopaths’ problem is all humans’ problem.

【主張】サイコパスは平気で何でもできるので数が優勢になるように思える。もしそうなら彼らの為の治療法と教育法ができるだけ早く開発される必要がある。

【説明】サイコパスは罪悪感なしに他人について嘘をつき欲しいものを得るために人を殺しさえすると言われている。 多くが魅力的で知的な人なので周りの人は彼らの問題に気付かない。最高経営責任者や弁護士、外科医の様な立派な職業の人の中にさえサイコパスがいる。成功者は子を残す可能性がより高いので、彼らのこの形質はより受け継がれそうだ。さらには裕福な家庭の子供はより競争で生き残りそうなので、この形質は私たちの種の中で増加するだろう。

【一般的な詳細】信頼や同情や慈悲のような人間的な気持ちは稀になるだろう。サイコパスは他者のこれらの感情を容赦なく利用する。人類の歴史の始まりにはサイコパスは今より少なかったが適者生存の仕組みを通して現在の4～5人にひとりという割合を達成したのではないか。文化は反社会的行動を抑える力があるが、現在世界に広がりつつある文化は物質主義に基づいておりこの力が欠如しているばかりが反社会的行動を促進する。未来はサイコパスの楽園になるだろう。将来はサイコパス同士がお互いを殺し合って人類は終わる可能性がある。

【具体的な詳細】例えばあるサイコパスの支配者が自分の都合で中東のある国を核爆弾で攻撃し、それに対し過去の自分の嘘を隠すためにどこかの国を攻撃する口実を探していたサイコパスの支配者が報復し、世界的な核戦争を引き起こすかもしれない。サイコパスは亡くなる人達や負傷する人達の事は一切気にしない。大量虐殺を犯すことを決して恐れない。

【補足】サイコパス的な人格への治療はないと言われているが科学は不可能を可能にしてきた。また、全ての人類は過去の生存者の子孫なので、私たち皆が多かれ少なかれこの気質を持っているかもしれない。

【まとめ】サイコパスの問題は人間すべての問題だ。

Your Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】

【Explanation】

【Detail / Example in general】

【More Specific Detail / Example】

【Follow-up】

【Wrap-up】

TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, Games are as important for adults as they are for children. - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Consider the following statement. Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Do you agree or disagree with this idea? Support our response by including specific reasons and examples.

☆Let’s Think

Survey

Question	Your Response	Classmate A’s Response	Classmate B’s Response
How do games benefit you?

Discussion

1.    Do adults play games?

2.    When, where, and how do they play games?

3.    Why do you think adults play games?

4.    Are games as important for adults as they are for children?

☆Hints for Points

We play games …

1.    to have fun, release stress, etc.

2.    to get to know each other well, mingle with others, make friends with coworkers, etc.

3.    to learn some skills, to learn how to communicate, learn about life, etc.

☆Essay Structure

Sample 1

【Introduction】I agree with the statement that games are as important for adults as they are for children because society at all levels utilize games.

【Point 1】Adults can benefit from games as much as children.

【Point 2】Games have been part of culture and thus they are indispensable for both adults and children.

【Counterargument-treatment】It is true that play is the main job of not adults but children. However, the line between play and work is actually difficult to draw aside from responsibility and earning.

【Conclusion】Humans grow all through their lives and games can play as important a role in development for adults as for children.

【導入】社会は全ての段階でゲームを活用しているので、ゲームは子供にとってと同様大人にとって重要だという発言に賛成だ。

【要点1】大人は子供と同じくらいゲームから利益を得る。

【要点2】ゲームは文化の一部なので大人と子供両方にとって不可欠だ。

【反論処理】確かに遊びは大人ではなく子供の主な仕事だ。しかし責任と収益は別として遊びと仕事の間の線引きは実は難しい。

【結論】人間は一生成長する。そしてゲームは子供にとってと同様大人にとっても発達において重要な役割を果たす。

Sample 2

【Introduction】As games are secondary to adults, I disagree with the idea that games are as important for adults as they are for children.

【Point 1】In terms of learning through games, most of what adults learn is too practical to be covered by games.

【Point 2】Adults play games in leisure time as they have more important things to do than playing games.

【Counterargument-treatment】 Adults need to have fun, but they could do without it. Also, people find many other ways to have fun as they grow up.

【Conclusion】Games are just for fun for adults and are significant mainly for those who are in the early stages of life. Adults who seriously think games are important may have some problems such as escapism.

【導入】ゲームは大人にとって二次的なので、ゲームが子供にとってと同様大人にとって重要だという考えに反対だ。

【要点1】ゲームを通した学びという点では、大人が学習することのほとんどは実践的過ぎてゲームでカバーできない。

【要点2】大人はゲーム遊びより重要なすべきことがあるのでゲームは余暇にする。

【反論処理】 大人も楽しむ必要はあるが無しでも済まされる。また成長すると他のいろいろな楽しむ方法を見つける。

【結論】ゲームは大人にとって単なる楽しみであり、ゲームは人生の初期段階の人にとって主に重要だ。ゲームが大切だと真剣に考えている大人は、例えば現実逃避癖の様な何らかの問題を抱えているかもしれない。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】Games have been part of culture and thus they are necessary for both adults and children.

【Explanation】Like language and custom, games help people (to) think and act normally.

【Example】It is often the case that a game element is introduced in adults’ daily activities.

【More Specific Example】A company management often tries to raise morale among employees by having them have competitions named after popular sports. Workshop instructors and learning applications take advantage of games for effective learning.

【Follow-up】 Even when they do not think they are playing games, their minds might be working as if they  were playing a game. They might always be saying to themselves that they will challenge someone, bet on something, or won or lost something and acting accordingly, and this behavior seems natural for most of us.

【Wrap-up】Adults who forget playfulness completely may not act well in society.

【主張】ゲームは文化の一部なので大人にも子供に必要だ。

【説明】言語や習慣の様にゲームは人が正常に考えたり行動したりするのを助ける。

【具体例】ゲームの要素が日常の大人の活動に取り入れられていることはよくある。

【より具体的な例】会社の経営陣はしばしば人気のあるスポーツにちなんだ名前の競争をさせることによって従業員の士気を上げようとする。研修の指導員や学習アプリは効果的な学びのためにゲームを利用する。

【補足】ゲームをしていないと思っている時でさえ、頭はまるでゲームをしているように働いているかもしれない。誰かに挑戦するとか何かにかけるとか何かに勝ったあるいは負けたといつも心の中で言いそのように行動しているかもしれないし、この行動は大抵の人にとって当然だと思える。

【まとめ】遊び心を完全に忘れた大人は社会でうまく行動できないかもしれない。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Main Idea】

【Explanation】

【Detail / Example】

【More Specific Detail / Example】

【Follow-up】

【Wrap-up】

☆Sample Introduction  (Optional)

【Hook】 There are many adults who play games.

【Background】 We often see office workers challenging crossword puzzles or shooting something in their smartphones in the train on their way home. Old people enjoy playing scrabbles and other board games. A lot of grown-up people are found in penny arcades.

【Thesis and Reason】 Still it does not directly mean that games are as important for adults as for children because people spend and efforts doing not only the important but also the unimportant, although importance can be subjective.

【注意喚起】 ゲームをする大人がたくさんいる。

【説明】 会社員が仕事帰りに電車内でクロスワードパズルに挑戦したりスマートフォンの中で何かを撃ったりしているのをよく見る。お年寄りはスクラブルや他のボードゲームを楽しみ多くの成人がゲームセンターにいる。

【主張と理由】それでもそのことが直接子供にとってと同様大人にとってゲームが重要だということにはならない。なぜなら人は重要なことだけでなく重要でないことをするのに時間と労力を費やすからだ。重要性は主観的でありうるとはいえ。

Your Sample Introduction

【Hook】

【Background】

【Thesis and Reason】

Pre-TOEFL Writing, What are the qualities of a good neighbor? - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Neighbors are the people who live near us. In your opinion, what are the qualities of a good neighbor? Use specific details and examples in your answer.

隣人は近くに住む人々です。あなたの意見では良い隣人の資質は何ですか。答えには具体的な詳細と例を使用して下さい。

☆Let’s Think

You can tell what kind of neighbors are good ones based on your experience or draw on your knowledge gained from the media or talks with people around you. You could also imagine an ideal neighbor by asking yourself what kind of neighbor you want to have or you yourself want to be. 実際の隣人との経験・メディアや人から聞いた話・自分の理想の隣人を考えてみよう。

☆Hints for Points

A good neighbor …良い隣人は

1.    is thoughtful and gentle. 思いやりがあり優しい。

2.    is helpful and reliable 助けてくれ、頼りになる。

3.    is calm and quiet  大人しくて静か。

4.    is cheerful and outgoing. 明るくて外交的。

5.    does not discriminate against any neighbors. どんな隣人も差別しない。

6.    do not interfere his or her neighbor’s life. 邪魔しない。

7.    does not bother others by being selfish. わがままで人を煩わせない。

8.    follows rules. 決まりに従う。

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】In my opinion, qualities of good neighbors are tolerance and empathy.

【Tolerance】Good neighbors are tolerant; they pay respect to their neighbors’ culture.

【Empathy】Good neighbor are empathic, so they can get along well and cooperate.

【Other Qualities】A friendly and communicative neighbor would be nice, but as long as we can respect and help each other, the neighborhood will be a good place to live.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Good neighbors will ward off discrimination and apathy.

【導入＝概要】私の意見では良い隣人の資質は寛容性と共感性だ。

【寛容性】良い隣人は寛容性がある。隣人の文化を尊敬する。

【共感性】良い隣人は共感性があるので他人とうまくやれるし協力できる。

【他の資質】友好的で話好きな隣人は良いだろうがお互いを尊敬し助け合える限り近所は住みやすい場所になるだろう。

【結論＝まとめ】良い隣人は差別と無関心を防ぐ。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Body 1】

【Body 2】

【Body 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】.

☆Sample Description

Good neighbors are empathic. They are like extended family members who are in good terms with you. They respect your privacy, but give you a good smile and warm words when you meet them and come help you when you are in trouble. In a traditional society, where most of the members were related, such neighbors were common. If there was a young couple who had their first child cry hard every night, the neighbors would send them a gentle middle-aged housewife, who would ask them if there was anything wrong with their child. By doing so, they saved both the parents and the child. In a modern society, where most inhabitants in an area do not know each other, it is difficult for a next-door neighbor to visit a household with a problem, but similar thoughtful actions would be possible if we seriously think about our neighbors instead of being preoccupied with our own business all the time.

良い隣人は共感力がある。関係が良好な遠縁の親戚のようだ。プライバシーは尊重するが会えば優しく微笑み暖かい言葉をかけてくれ、困った時は助けてくれる。伝統社会では構成員の大半が親戚でそのような隣人が普通だ。毎晩子供を泣かせている若い夫婦がいれば、近所の人は優しい中年の主婦を行かせて子供に何か問題があるのか尋ねさせる。そうすることによって親と子両方を救った。現代社会ではある地域の住民の大部分がお互いを知らず、問題のある家庭を隣の人が訪問するのは難しいが、いつも自分自身のことに夢中になっている代わりに隣人について真剣に考えるならば同様の思慮深い行動が可能だろう。

国際教養学部AO入試、reference, Environmental Issues, Technology, Plastic

BBC Podcast, The Inquiry
How Do We Get Hooked on Plastic?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3csvsyn