TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion The involvement of parents and communities in school education - revised -

Should parents and communities play an active role in improving the quality of school education? 

 

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1)     In Japan, the board of education manages the education of the community. They choose textbooks, change school rules, and dismiss teachers if necessary. However, the board members are not elected from parents or community members. On the other hand, the board of education consists of anyone over the age of voting including parents, community members, and students in many states in the U.S. Which do you think is better? Why?

2)     Have you ever seen a helicopter parent or unreasonable parent who bother teachers and school?

 

 

☆Hints for Points

Agree

1.     The concept of children as the asset of the community will be revived and this will lead to more involved citizens’ actions to require the government to provide better education for children.

2.     Parents are the most serious about providing quality education to their children.

3.     The community, rather than the government, often know what should be taught at school, so their voices should be reflected more in education.  e.g. About 100 years ago, in Taisho era, merchants of the city of Osaka felt the need of language skills in the international trade and funded to make a language school for young merchants. The school was nationalized after WWII and named Osaka University of Foreign Studies, later integrated into University of Osaka.

4.     Mind development will be accelerated.  e.g. Some communities have started support systems for learning by retiree volunteers and has improved performances of children at school.

 

Disagree

1.     Helicopter parents interrupt school education.

2.     Leaving education to specialists is the best policy. The government has the department of education and trains professionals to provide a good education.

3.     Voting is the channel to reflect citizens’ opinions.

4.     Influential entities such as strong men or a religious group can prevent proper education.

e.g. There are people who are against girls’ education because of their belief.

 

 

☆Sample Essay Structure

A        【Thesis】I am totally for the active role of parents and communities in school education in terms of mind development. I actually think they themselves should even directly help teaching.

【Supporting Details】The benefit of this policy is heightened awareness and cognitive ability of the children that their exposure to various adults in the community will stimulate. For example, after-school schooling volunteers can provide children with knowledge and experiences crucial to mind development. They can teach morals, pass down community history, culture, and tradition, and present new perspectives that are not taught at school. The interactions and the organic way of nurturing will give children a sense of security and help build well-rounded personalities.

【Counterargument-treatment】It is true that too many cooks can spoil the broth as the saying goes, but it is the golden rule of a good society that youngsters are taken care of by the adults around them to raise the next generation for the continuation of the community.

【Conclusion】Therefore, communal involvement is vital in school education. (170 words)

 

B        【Thesis】With caveats, I think parents and communities should play an active role in improving the quality of education.

【Benefits】Citizen’s involvement makes reforms appropriate, easier, and faster. Financial aid from the community for education can increase. Interest in child-rearing and education will increase among citizens as well as parents.

【Caveat 1】On the other hand, ideology can overwhelm reality and the school system can be disrupted such as children being forced to follow unnecessary rules.

【Caveat 2】Also, the power structure among parents or in the community may undermine the education, leading to greater inequality.

【Conclusion】Active participation of the adults in education is fundamentally good, but unless it is decided to what extent parents and communities are involved in education, adverse effects may follow. (127 words)

Write your draft on this topic. Give feedback to other people’s drafts, asking questions and making suggestions.

 

 

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