TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion High school students and part-time work - revised -

Should high school students take on part-time jobs while managing their academic responsibilities? 

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1.       Paraphrase the following expressions in your own words to make sure of the question.

・“the complex intersection of education and practical experience”

e.g. balancing academic studies and work experience

・“an era where real-world experience and academic achievements are both highly valued”

                            e.g. well-rounded, resourceful workers with higher academic background are needed

・“how this balance affects students’ development and preparation for future challenges”

                            e.g. the optimal balance between the two in high school education

 

2.       What do you think people should learn while they are in high school other than academic subjects?

 

3.       Does your school allow you to work part-time? Do you know the reason for the policy? Have you ever had a part-time job? If so, share the experience with other students.

 

 

☆Hints for Points

For:

1.     As the saying goes, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

2.     By having a part-time job, they can meet many kinds of people and learn social skills.

3.     Students can learn what it is like to work for money, and it will help them (to) think about their future.

 

Against

1.     School is primarily for academic education and should stay out of students’ extracurricular activities.

2.     Don’t do today what you can put off till tomorrow. (This is the reversed version of the saying, “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.) Missing other experiences is the concern.

3.     Working involves what students do not have to go through, like harassment or deceit.

 

 

☆Sample Responses

A        【Thesis】I’m all for high school students working part-time as I believe that it will be a catalyst for students’ development that facilitates their studies.

【Supporting Details】Working for money in a team among people of all walks of life enhances cognitive ability, maturity, and acquisition of fundamental work ethics like honesty and punctuality. Better understanding of reality will lead to a clear future vision, which will be a strong motivation to study hard. It also facilitates emotional development. For example, part-timers are often the target of harassment. This makes students more aware of discrimination and inequality, which will not only be a motivation for hard work but also empathy to those who are disadvantaged.

【Counterargument-treatment】While time-management can become a challenge, personal development is no less important than academic achievement during high school years, when children turn young adults, and there will be no loss in allotting a few after school hours to work.

【Conclusion】Part-time jobs during high school years, when people are most sensitive, make students’ life more fulfilling and help make them good citizens. (177 words)

 

B        【Thesis】High school students can wait for the experience of working part-time till they graduate.

【Supporting Details】Or else the loss would be irretrievable, because students are going through the critical years in their academic achievement and personality development. They need to focus on studies while seeing the world and bonding with others in various occasions. The events and projects at school and the interaction and relationships with other students will significantly influence the formation of their personality and values.

【Counterargument-treatment】Part-time work may provide valuable life lessons, but the opportunity will come soon, right after graduation or in several years. There is little reason why high school students have to get work experience before they go to university or start real work. Rather, school should help them equip themselves with a good education and relationships that will protect them after graduation. Understanding of reality owes not so much to work experience as to personal history. It is exactly for this reason that high school students need to have meaningful interactions with their peers and struggle with their studies while they can. After all, those who don’t do well in studies and school life usually won’t do well in the real world. It is ridiculous to assume waiting at a coffee shop or delivering food or doing simple paperwork is vital in education.

【Conclusion】Hence, there isn’t much to expect in part-time work as part of education. (236 words)

Write your draft on this topic. Give feedback to other people’s drafts, asking questions and making suggestions.

 

 

DRAFT