TOEFL iBT Independent Writing 1) There is no benefit in keeping animals in zoos. 2) High school uniforms - revised -

Writing Topic A

Do you agree with the following opinion? There is no benefit in keeping animals in zoos. Give specific reasons to support your answer.

 

 

☆Let’s think

1.    Do you agree with the idea that there is no benefit in playing games. Why/Why not?

2.    Is there any benefit in keeping animals in zoos?

3.    What are bad aspects of zoos? Do they offset the benefit(s) ?

 

 

☆Hints for points

Disagree

1.    Zoos have educational values. Children can learn about life and the importance of preserving the environment.

2.    Zoos contribute to studies and protection of wild life. Some endangered species are kept and bred successfully in zoos.

3.    Today’s zoos provide a better environment for animals to live in than before.

 

Agree

1.    It is cruel to keep animals in zoos. The place animals are kept is unnatural, unclean, and stressful. No matter how much improvement has been made, the  artificial environment is no match for the natural environment. Also, studies have shown that animals have more delicate brain activities, something similar to our emotions and thought, than we have thought. Thus, many of them might be aware of their confinement and be frustrated by the environment of exhibition.

 

2.    The educational value of zoos is questionable. Animals in zoos look and act differently from those in the wild. Also, showing animals that should be free in the wild kept in cages is a bad emotional education.

 

3.    The contribution of zoos to conservation is pointless. Rather than trying to artificially revive endangered species, reviving the environment of their original habitat is the right way to do it.

 

 

☆Sample Essay Structures

Sample 1

【Introduction】I disagree with the statement that there is no benefit in keeping animals in zoos.

【Point 1】Zoos entertain many people.

【Point 2】Zoos contribute to preservation.

【Counterargument-treatment】Many animals suffer from diseases and stress, but their living conditions are being improved.

【Conclusion】Although I myself cannot enjoy seeing confined animals anymore, I cannot totally agree with the notion that zoos are good for nothing because there are some benefits.

 

Sample 2

【Introduction】I totally agree with the statement that there is no benefit in keeping animals in zoos.

【Point 1】It is not beneficial but dehumanizing to keep living things in confinement.    e.g. callousness

【Point 2】The educational value of zoos is questionable.     e.g. not natural

【Counterargument-treatment】It is true that some zoos have successfully preserved some endangered species, but the project is rather pointless because the original environment of those animals have been lost or changed. Sending them back to nature will either fail or cause other problems.

【Conclusion】Zoos are no better than freak shows that violate animal rights. Humans should evolve to have no zoos in the future. True animal lovers are to go into the wild themselves, not the other way (a)round.

 

 

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

☆Speech Time

Make a speech on this topic.

 

 

☆Sample Paragraph Development

A.

【Main Idea】Many animals in zoos suffer from diseases and stress, but their living conditions are being improved.

【Supporting Details】Cages are larger and cleaner than before. Some zoos are natural parks where animals freely move around. Also, open display, which attempts to show the characteristic behaviors of animals to visitors by installing facilities that make the target behavior possible, is becoming popular now.

【Follow-up】Although not all zoos treat animals well, changes are certainly happening as visitors favor zoos that have happier animals.

【Wrap-up】Zoos are not so inhumane as it is thought to be.

 

B.

【Main Idea】Educational value of the zoo is questionable.

【Supporting Details】It is said that people can learn about animals they cannot see around them in the zoo, but most people do not go to the zoo to study. I seldom see people reading the information hung in front of the cage. Also, videos and books will do for the purpose. Watching real animals alive may be more effective, but not essential. At any rate, animals in zoos are different from wild ones. They look and behave differently. For example, wild birds are much more beautiful than birds in zoos, and they are free to fly. Even those stay within their territory fly in a circle of at least some kilometers in diameter a day, many of them flying more than 100 meters high in the air. Zoos cannot provide birds with the same condition under which they live in the wild, and when birds cannot fly freely, they are not birds anymore. The same can be said more or less about other living things in the zoo.

【Wrap-up】Therefore, people learn little about animals in the zoo.

 

 

Your Sample Paragraph Development

Choose one of the points in your sample essay structure above and develop it.

【Main Idea】

【Explanation】

【Supporting Details】

【Wrap-up】

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Writing topic B: Many high schools in various countries make their students wear uniforms on campus, but there are other high schools which allow their students to wear whatever clothes they like within certain limits. Using specific examples and reasons, discuss these policies. Which do you think is the better policy?

 

☆Let’s think

1.      What kind of people wear uniforms?

2.      Why do they wear uniforms, or why are they made to wear uniforms?

3.      Compare the reasoning and advantages/disadvantages of uniform and non-uniform policies in high school.

	Uniform Policy in High School	Non-uniform Policy in High school
Reasoning
Advantages or Disadvantages

4.      Which policy do you agree with? Why?

 

☆Hints for points

Uniform policy

1.    Uniforms make it clear that school is the place to study.

2.    Uniforms are for monitoring.

3.    Wearing a school uniform serves as a protection.

4.    Uniforms help equal treatment. The policy is fair for students with financial difficulties.

5.    Uniforms may nurture a sense of belonging.

6.    Unlike university, high schools should exercise restrictions on some aspects of students’ life.

 

No-uniform policy

1.    The no-uniform dress code reduces economic burden of the students. Uniforms are expensive.

2.    To make students wear uniforms violates freedom.

3.    Having students wear uniform is controlling students on school days.

4.    No-uniform policy can make high school life more enjoyable and memorable.

5.    By wearing everyday-clothes, high school students can relax in class and perform well.

 

 

☆Sample Essay Structure

A.

【Introduction】Although it is at the discretion of the school to decide its dress codes, I would rather high schools to respect their students’ humanity.

【Uniform】Uniforms are labels.  

【Plain Clothes】The policy to allow students to wear any clothes with certain limitations reflects that the school is open to the outside world and treats students in the same way as society does,

【My View】No-uniform policy seems better to me because putting high school students in school uniforms is treating them as young children who still need to be watched and this is wrong.

【Conclusion】I think high school students should be treated as adults in fundamental aspects of life.

 

B.

【Introduction】Although it might not be so much a policy as a custom, to make high school students wear uniform is not a preferable practice.

【Point 1】In terms of productivity, casual outfits are more effective than uniform because of relaxation.

【Point 2】In terms of moral, various facts show that uniform has nothing to do with it.

【Counterargument-treatment】 There might be some good effects of uniforms, such as nurturing a sense of belonging to the school or promoting a simple lifestyle, but the negative influence of feeling the school authority imposed on them concerning what you wear is too strong to ignore. Also, if promoting solidarity of the students is necessary, it can be done through school events. As for a simple lifestyle, casual everyday clothes will do better than uniforms that cost tens of thousands of yen a piece. It is outrageous that parents have to fork out a fortune to buy uniforms that their schools specify when they prepare for their children’s learning.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】If the school uniform manufacturers integrated themselves to make a variety of lines of reasonably-priced high school fashion, I do not think high schools would find any reason to force students to wear uniforms.

 

Your Sample Essay Structure

Use either of the following sample essay structures or the blank form and make your sample essay structure.

A.

【Introduction=Outline】

【Uniform Policy】

【Non-uniform Policy】

【My View】

【Conclusion=Wrap-up】

 

B.

【Introduction=Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Blank Form

【Introduction = Outline】

【        】

【        】

【        】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

☆Speech Time

Make a speech on this topic.

 

 

☆Sample Paragraph Development

A.

【Main Idea】Uniforms are labels.

【Supporting Details】Traditionally, clothing has been an important indicator of social status. Both those in a certain uniform and those seeing them in it confirm that the former is expected to play a certain role and behave accordingly. A high school uniform, therefore, means that the person in the uniform is expected to behave as a minor and as a student of the school that the uniform represents. This has both an advantage and a disadvantage. The advantage is that the student is protected by the society. The disadvantage is the restriction of individuality. Also, in Japan, where schools are ranked according to the deviation scores, school uniforms are literal labels of the students’ positions in the academic hierarchy. Like a jar of jam with a label, students in uniforms are judged, treated, and expected to act in a way that matches the image of the uniform they are wearing.

【Wrap-up】This will discourage students from having self-respect or modesty, and thus it may negatively affect emotional development of the students.

 

B.

【Main Idea】Having students wear uniform is controlling students on school days.

【Supporting Details】School intends to have less trouble by making students wear uniforms. The assumption is that students will be less likely to end up in places where they are not supposed to be or be involved in unacceptable activities when they are in uniforms. However, students go out in their daily clothes on weekends.

【Wrap-up】Therefore, uniform does not help students so much as it helps the school with uniform policy. It can help students stay out of trouble on school days, and the school takes advantage of it.

 

C.

【Main Idea】To make students wear uniforms violates freedom.

【Supporting Details】Having high school students wear a uniform denies their freedom of choice in pursuit of happiness. Deciding one’s appearance is an important, fundamental right. The policy to allow students to wear any clothes with certain limitations shows that the school expects students to have some autonomy, assuming that high school students are old enough to decide what they should wear for the day. It allows students to have freedom, independence, and individuality. School has no authority to limit them.

【Wrap-up】Thus, high school students in a free world should not be forced to wear a school uniform.

 

D.

【Main Idea】Putting high school students in school uniforms is treating them as children who still need to be watched, and this is wrong.

【Supporting Details】A uniform is a reminder of responsibility of having a certain occupation or being in a certain social status. Military officers, medical personnel, restaurant workers, kindergarten pupils, and inmates are in uniforms. They are expected to behave as society expects them to. However, high school students are neither workers nor people who need monitoring. They are half-adults who are in the period of life when their world view and identity is challenged and reestablished. The uniform policy limits this transformation by explicitly showing that they are watched and controlled, and this makes most people stop challenging authorities.

【Wrap-up】Thus, uniforms contribute to making uncritical, irresponsible citizens.

 

E.

【Main Idea】Uniform contributes to fairness.

【Supporting Details】This is because uniforms can prevent wealth gap from being revealed. Under the no-uniform policy, rich students will naturally come to school in high-quality, stylish attire, and poor students keep wearing what they can afford for years. This difference can lead to separation, discrimination and even bullying,

【Follow-up】Students may not show such problems on the surface, but according to a professor, school is a closed space where even the smallest difference can make one ostracized.

【Wrap-up】Till they go to university and acquire freedom to escape from belligerence, high school students, especially the vulnerable ones, need to be protected from it by being in the same clothes as others are wearing.

 

 

Your test paragraph development

Choose one of the reasons you have come up with, make it the main idea, and develop it using the following form.

【Main Idea】

 

【Supporting Details】

 

 

【Follow-up】

 

【Wrap-up】