Pre-TOEFL 1) Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. 2)What do you think we should do to be mentally enriched and at peace? - revised -

Writing Topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

生徒の成績によって教師の給料を決めるべきかどうか。

 

☆Let’s Think

The part of the statement “paid according to how much” indicates competition principle, or principle of market mechanism: the idea that competition will facilitate higher quality. The expression “how much their students learn” allows a wide range of interpretation, from raising test scores to attaining real learning. The former can be quantified, but the latter might not be reflected in test scores.

能力給は競争原理  学習の解釈は様々  テストは数値化できるが真の学習は点数に反映されないかもしれない

 

☆Hints for Points           

Agree

-        Teachers will make more efforts to improve their teaching methods if they are paid according to their students’ performances. 教授法改善の動機づけになる。

-        Teachers who work hard can be rewarded properly. 勤勉な教師が適切に報酬を受けられる。

 

Disagree

-        Test scores do not always reflect the skills and efforts of the teachers. There are many other factors that decide students’ performances, such as learning capacity and timing of the introduction of a certain subject. テストの点は必ずしも教師の能力・努力を反映するとは限らない （能力や習うタイミング）

-        To raise test scores, teachers will focus more on memorization than the real understanding of the subject. They also tend to increase the amount of homework, which can have adverse effects on the overall development of the students. テストの点を挙げるために理解より暗記中心の指導  宿題増加で逆効果

 

☆Sample Essay Structures

A.      【Introduction = Outline】I do not agree with the statement that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn because it does not fit the reality. 現実に合わないので反対

【Point 1】Performances of students are not proportional to teachers’ ability. As the proverb goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. 生徒の成績と教師の能力比例しない。諺にあるように馬を水辺に連れてゆくことはできるが水を飲ませることはできない。

【Point 2】It is unfair if teachers are evaluated based only on their students’ academic achievements. Teaching subjects is not the only school teachers’ job. They take care of students’ development as well as coaching sports clubs and conducting school events. 生徒の成績で教師を評価するのは不公平。部活や成長の世話等授業以外の仕事もある。

【Follow-up】It might seem that achievement-oriented payment system encourage teachers to work harder. However, good teachers already work hard and bad teachers may resort to bad ideas such as corporal punishment. この制度は努力を奨励するように思えるが、良い教師は既に努力している。体罰が起こる可能性もある。

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】It is narrow-sighted to try to make students work better by making school achievement-oriented. Therefore, teachers’ salary should not be increased in proportion to test results of their students. Teachers who make students happy should be highly rewarded. 成果主義は近視眼的。教師の給料は生徒のテスト結果に比例させるべきではない。生徒を幸福にする先生が高い報酬を得るべき

 

B.      【Introduction = Outline】Except for the application of the idea to primary schools, I agree with the statement that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. 小学校以外は賛成

【Point 1】In elementary schools, teaching includes things whose results cannot be tested. Thus, it is impossible to decide teachers’ pays according to the students’ performances, many of which will be clear years later. e.g. following the rules of civil society, awareness of the importance of healthcare, charity, etc. 小学校ではテストできないことも教えるので結果で給料を決められない。（例）市民社会の規則順守や健康管理、慈善等

【Point 2】High schools and junior high schools are the places for study, so good teachers should be rewarded as such. 中学高校は科目を勉強する場なので教えるのがうまい教師はその報酬を受けるべき

【Point 3】The popularity of private schools and cram schools shows that the idea is right.

私立高や塾の人気はこの考えの正しさを証明

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Although there might be some problems in the process of transition, but in the end, students will benefit by making school pay teachers according to the performance of their students.

変化の過程で問題はあるかもしれないが最終的には生徒が利益を得るだろう。

 

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】 

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Follow-up】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

 

 

Writing Topic 2 (optional) Emperor Akihito, having expressed his wish to abdicate several months before, said in his 2017 New Year’s message, “I pray that people will be able to spend a year in which they find themselves mentally enriched and at peace.” What do you think we should do to be mentally enriched and at peace? 心豊かに平和に生きるにどうすべきか

 

☆Hints for Points

We will be able to spend a year in which we find ourselves mentally enriched and at peace by …

-        staying out of trouble, preparing for problems, and making the world a better place to live in.

問題を避け、問題に備え、世界を住みやすい場所にする

-        learning about societies and people, especially those with problems.

社会と人、特に問題を抱える人について学ぶ

-        promoting fairness and seeking for peaceful coexistence. 公正を促進し平和的共存を模索する

-        helping (to) improve lives of those who are vulnerable and suffering. 弱者の生活改善を助ける

-        eliminating bullying. いじめをなくす

-        getting rid of desires and fears, especially the fears of the uncertainty of the future, old age, and death

欲と恐れ、特に将来への不安と老年、死への恐怖をなくす

-        being good and trying not to do harm to others as much as possible 善人になり他人を傷つけない

-        helping each other and being gentle, modest, and tolerant to each other. 助け合い優しく謙虚で寛容に

-        focusing on your duty and enjoying doing jobs. 義務に集中し仕事を楽しむ

-        being calm, considerate, and prudent. 落ち着いて、思いやりがあり、思慮深くなる

-        having a good sense of humor. ユーモアのセンスを持つ

-        appreciating life and nature and being grateful to people doing good to humankind and the environment

人生自然に感謝し人類と環境に良いことをしている人たちに感謝する

-        seeing the positive side of the world, reminding yourself of the facts that prove it. 世界の良い面を見る

-        cherishing the beautiful things and the happiest moments or memories.

美しいものや最も幸せな瞬間あるいは記憶を大切にする

-        picturing angels or whatever is delightful when there is nothing else to do and no hope left.

希望以外何も残っていない時は天使や喜ばしいものを何でも思い浮かべる

 

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】It is obvious that many kinds of things have to be done for a fulfilling and peaceful life, as the emperor is praying it for us, the symbol of whom he is as our constitution provides for, but refining my mind is what I am working on and what I suspect many people want for the purpose. 心の浄化

【Point 1】It is often the case that what you think is real is what you want to believe is real, while the reality is different from your idea more or less. Since the gap between the two affects the reality surrounding you, your image of the world decides your life in either good or bad ways, usually in bad ways. 現実であってほしいと思うことを現実だと思っていることがあるが現実はそうではない。その違いが問題を起こす。

【Point 2】Educating yourself while interacting directly with the world enlightens and liberates you and improves the circumstance you are in. For example, if you disturb yourself less than before as a result of learning, you will also disturb others less and this will lead to others disturbing you less. Refining your mind will make various aspects of your environment better piece by piece. 世界と直接交流することによって自己を教育することにより啓蒙され自由になり状況が改善される。（例）自己改善により他者の態度改善

【Point 3 / Follow-up】It is impossible to be totally free from attacks on your peace of mind because life is as such, but it is possible for you to stop abusing your own mind and life. 精神の平和への攻撃を完全に防ぐことはできないが、少なくとも自分の心と人生を痛めつけるのをやめることはできる。

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Although the world will not change in a day and living is suffering anyway, improving your own perception is comparatively easy and helps make your life easier. 世界は1日では変わらないし生きることは苦しむことだが、認識の改善は比較的容易で人生を楽にする助けとなる。

 

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Follow-up】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】