TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, The mass media (television, magazines, newspapers, and so on) concentrate too much on the private lives of famous people - revised -

Writing Topic

Consider the following statement. The mass media (television, magazines, newspapers, and so on) concentrate too much on the private lives of famous people. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

☆Let’s think

1.      What does the expression “too much” mean? When do we say it?

2.      Is the broadcasting time for gossip too much?

3.      How about the contents of the celebrity news? Do they focus on things that should be left untouched?

4.      Do you agree or disagree with the statement of the writing topic? Why?

Note: We say, “Too much!” when something is over the necessary or acceptable amount, when something is violating some rule, or when something is giving us or someone else pain.

☆Hints for Points

Agree:

1.    Most celebrity reports can be regarded as invasion of privacy.

2.    Celebrity journalism is doing harm to innocent people.

3.    Mass media sell unnecessary information, gossip, for profits.

Disagree:

1.    Gossip accounts for only a small part of the whole media coverage of current issues.

2.    Freedom of press should be protected by any means. It provides important information that we should know which is often hidden from the public.

☆Essays for Ideas and Expressions

Essay A  Writing for TOEFL iBT, Barrons # 28

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Essay B

   When we say something is too much, we mean it crosses some line or it is doing harm, or both. Celebrity journalism makes illegal reports and makes celebrities suffer. In competition for higher ratings, its coverage will go over the top. Therefore, I agree with the statement that the mass media concentrate too much on the private lives of famous people.

   Most celebrity reports are illegal. While freedom of press is strongly protected, a person’s privacy is also protected by law unless hiding it is seriously against public interests. Then publicizing a famous person’s private information that has nothing to do with public interests is illegal. Just like other people, celebrities have no obligation to make their whole lives open to public. However, many reports invading celebrities’ privacy are being made just to satisfy curiosities of audience and readers. The reason why so few law suits are made is that there are too many cases and each case is too small, although not trivial, to file. But this does not change the fact that celebrity journalism goes beyond the bounds of decency.

   In addition, innocent individuals suffer because of celebrity journalism. Many famous people have had their lives irreversibly affected by media reports for which they were not accountable to the public. Some became mentally or physically ill, others died. It is clear that media coverage about famous people has gone too far. Some gossipers might quip that transparent private life is the price for being famous. However, the idea is only one side of a coin. For example, the fact that Queen Elizabeth’s face without make-up will never be in print shows that not all famous people have to show every aspect of their lives. On the other hand, it seems that paparazzi have no qualms about taking any kind of private pictures of pop stars. When you make some people, especially those you consider “weaker” or “lower” than you, feel pain while you do not do the same to the others, the action is called bullying. Gossiping can be a kind of bullying under the guise of attention.

   Mass media, except for independent media, are destined to focus too much on unnecessary topics. Like other profit-making entities, media pursue profits, in other words, higher ratings or circulation, and for that purpose they will do anything to attract attention. Also, like other companies, they produce demand. Just as other companies try to sell unnecessary things like potato chips with a new flavor, mass media try to sell insignificant information, gossip, of which we weak humans cannot stop taking a bite. They advertise gossip with sound bites and sensational pictures, while playing down serious matters related to their sponsors. To be precise, there might be nothing that does not matter at all in this world, but watching what kind of information we put in our head is as important as watching what we eat.

   Because most media attention on famous people is against the law, is doing harm to innocent individuals, and is the reflection of unscrupulous economic activities, it can be said that mass media concentrate too much on the private lives of celebrities. If the media, except for investigative journalism, reported only what celebrities want to share with their fans, we might become better people.

☆Making the structure of your essay

The following is the structure of Essay B, the essay above.

Introduction

Thesis: Agree Gist of Reasons: 1) illegal 2) harmful 3) providing unnecessary information for profits

Body

Reason 1: illegal; invasion of privacy e.g. coverage unrelated to the person’s job, beyond the bounds of decency.

Reason 2: doing harm to innocent people e.g. celebrities who became mentally or physically ill or died, a bullying.

Reason 3: providing unnecessary information e.g. pursuing higher ratings, producing demands for unnecessary information

Conclusion

Conclusion Because most media attention on famous people is against the law, is doing harm to innocent individuals, and is the reflection of unscrupulous economic activities, it can be said that mass media concentrate too much on the private lives of celebrities.

Your Essay Structure.

Introduction

Agree/Disagree Gist of Reasons: 1)                  2)                    3)

Body

About Reason 1)  e.g.

About Reason 2) e.g.

About Reason 3) e.g.

Conclusion

Notes 1) What you write in the introduction and the conclusion are the same but usually worded differently. Supporting details of each reason are provided in each paragraph of the body.  2) When you take the iBT writing test, writing a simple conclusion sentence before starting to write the whole essay would be a good idea so that you can avoid finishing the essay without Conclusion because of the time limit.