TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, Do you agree that your county has become more similar to other countries because of modern communication and transportation methods? - rewrite -

Writing Topic

With many technological advances in communication and transportation, many people feel that the various countries of the world are becoming more similar to each other. Do you agree that your county has become more similar to other countries because of modern communication and transportation methods? Use specific examples and details to explain why or why not.

☆Let’s Think

Let’s make sure the last part of the question before getting to the main point.

1)    What is communication?

2)    Give examples of transportation?

3)    What does “because of modern communication and transportation methods” mean?

The tense of this question is present perfect, “has become”, and it uses comparative “more similar”, so that your response is likely to have comparison between the past and the present of your country and objective conclusion on whether your country shares more in common with other countries than before.

この問いの時制は現在完了「なってきた」であり比較級「より似ている」を使っているので、回答には自国の現在と過去の比較と自国が以前より他国とより多くの共通点があるかどうかについての客観的結論が入りそうだ。

Does your county look more similar to other countries compared to what it was 150 years ago when, it took a month for a newspaper, the only news medium then, to reach America from Britain and when samurai ruled Japan or when taking an airplane cost a fortune and the Internet did not exist? Have the street views changed? Remember the lifestyle of your grandparents. What do they to eat, wear, and enjoy?

当時唯一の媒体だった新聞がイギリスからアメリカに着くのに一か月かかり侍が日本を納めていた150年前と比べて自分の国は他国に似てきているだろうか？飛行機に乗るのは大金がかかりインターネットは存在していなかった50年前と比べるとどうだろうか。街並みは変化しているだろうか。祖父母のライフスタイルを思い出してみよう。何を食べ、どんな服装をし、何を楽しんでいるだろうか？

Research

My country has become similar to / is still different from other countries in the following aspects.

	1	2	3
Past
Present

☆Hints for points

Points for Agreement

1.      People used to wear traditional clothing before, but now most people wear Western style clothing.

2.      Most houses were made of wood and paper before, but now they are made of modern materials.

3.      Only elites and city people used to enjoy western culture before, but now most people do.

Points for Disagreement

4.      Most people do not speak any foreign language as a second language.

5.      There are more local food stores than international food chains like McDonald’s and Starbucks.

6.      TV programs are very different from those of other countries.

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction】 My country externally appears to have become more similar to other countries because of modern communication and transportation methods, but the inner state has not changed much.

【Point 1】The industrialization has changed the whole society into a modern one.

【Point 2】Globalization has made people share the same commodities and a common culture worldwide.

【Counter Example】We have not given up our language, traditional cultures, and prejudices.

【Conclusion】Exchange of goods and information with other countries has made my country similar to other countries for the most part although some cultures and ideas remain unchanged.

【導入概略】 近現代的なコミュニケーション手段と交通手段により私の国は外面的には他国に似てきているように見えるが内面の状態はあまり変わっていない。

【要点1】工業化によって国中が近代国家に変わった。

【要点 2】グローバル化により世界中で同じ商品と共通の文化を共有するようになった。

【反例】言語や伝統文化そして偏見はまだ捨てていない。

【結論】変わらない文化や考えもあるが、他国との物資・情報の交換は大体において私の国を他の国と似通わせてきている。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Top-down Development: from general ideas to specific ideas 

トップダウンの展開： 一般から具体へ

Let’s compare the present and the past and make conclusions. Make sure that the description starts with the general and moves on to the specific.

Homogenization in materialistic aspects through economic globalization 

経済のグローバル化を通しての物質面の均一化

The development of communication and transportation methods has enabled large corporations to spread the same products all over the world more thoroughly than before and boosted the homogenization of the world, at least materialistically. My country Japan is not an exception. People used to live in wooden houses, wear kimono, and eat rice and fish, but these days, they live with something western or American. They live in buildings made of concrete and steel whose interiors are filled with electronic appliances and modern furniture, wear clothes found in western media, and often eat meat-and-bread-based food.

コミュニケーション手段と交通手段の発展により大企業が同じ製品を以前より徹底的に世界中に広めることが可能になり少なくとも物質的には世界の均一化が進んだ。私の国である日本も例外ではない。昔人々は木の家に住み着物を着て米と魚を食べていたが最近は何か欧米的なものと過ごしている。内部が電化製品と近代的な家具で埋まっているコンクリートと鉄鋼でできた建物に住み、西洋のメディアに出てくる服を着て、頻繁に肉とパンが基本の食事をする。

Westernization of popular music 流行歌の西洋化

Trends in popular music reflect changes of a society very clearly. Japanese pop music has become closer to those in other countries than before. Japanese pop songs were slow-tempo and sounded like traditional folk music before, but now most of them are up-tempo and sound like American and British pops, which have been influenced by the music in other parts of the world. Since music affects many aspects of life, it can be said that our general mentality has also become more similar to those in other countries. This change, the pervasiveness of western culture through music, corresponds to the development of technologies for sharing materials and information. The change of media from the radio to TV to the Internet and more opportunities for concert tours enabled western music industry to market and familiarize its products to more people in my country.

流行歌の傾向は非常に明確に社会の変化を反映する。日本人の流行歌は以前よりも他の国の流行歌に近づいてきている。以前日本の流行歌はテンポが遅く伝統的な民謡の様な響きだったが今ではほとんどがテンポが速くアメリカかイギリスの流行歌の様に聞こえる。そしてアメリアやイギリスの流行歌は世界の他の地域の音楽に影響されている。音楽は生活の多くの面に影響を与えるので私たちの気質も他の国々のそれと似てきていると言える。この変化つまり音楽を通した西洋文化の普及は物質・情報共有用の技術の進歩と一致する。ラジオからテレビそしてインターネットへの媒体の変化とコンサート・ツアーの機会が増えたことにより西洋の音楽産業が私の国のより多くの人々に製品を売り込み親しませることができるようになったのだ。

Assimilation to other cultures through history  

歴史を通しての異文化との同化

The large wave of global assimilation has affected Japan, where I live. As Yuval Noah Harari points out in his book Sapiens, countries and cultures have been integrated into ones with larger realms since ancient times. An island country Japan has also always been in the influential spheres of other cultures, even during the period of cultural isolation－most high levels of thought in the Edo Era were expressed in Chinese. In other words, it has syncretized other cultures into its cultures. Rice farming and use of Chinese characters are examples of cultures Japan has shared with other countries. In modernization and industrialization after the Meiji Restoration, Japan has taken in Western cultures through their languages, and the process has accelerated after WWII for not only geopolitical reasons but also development of the means of communication and transportation. It is natural that it has become similar to other developed countries both in fundamental aspects of daily life such as housing and clothing and in inner life. Therefore, there is no denying the opinion that my country has become more similar to other countries than it used to be through interaction with other countries by communication and transportation.

世界的な同化の大波が私の住む国である日本に影響を与えてきている。ユバル・ノア・ハラリが自著「サピエンス」で指摘しているように、古代から国々と文化はより大きな領域の国・文化に統一されてきている。島国日本もずっと異文化の影響圏に入り続けてきた。鎖国時代でさえも。（江戸時代の高度な思想は漢文で表現された）言い換えれば異文化を自国文化に統合してきた。稲作と漢字の使用は日本が他国と共有してきた文化の例だ。明治維新後の近代化・工業化では日本は西洋言語を通して西洋文化を取り入れてきており、その過程は第2次世界大戦後地政学的理由のみならずコミュニケーション手段と交通手段の発達のために加速した。住宅や衣服の様な日常生活の基本的な面と内面生活の両面で他の先進国と似てきているのは当然だ。従ってコミュニケーションと交通による他国との交流を通して私の国が以前よりも他国と似てきているという意見を否定することはできない。

Your Description

 General Description 一般的な説明

Specific Description 具体的な説明