Pre-TOEFL writing, 1. Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. (rewrite) 2. What do you think we should do to be mentally enriched and at peace?

Writing Topic 1

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

☆Let’s Think

The part of the statement “paid according to how much” indicates competition principle, in other words, principle of market mechanism: having providers of goods and services compete will facilitate their higher quality and lower price. Also, the expression “how much their students learn” allows a wide range of interpretation from raising test scores to attaining real learning. The former can be quantified but the latter cannot.

☆Hints for Points         

Agree

1.    Teachers will make more efforts if they are paid according to their students’ performances.

2.    Today’s world is based on competition and school reflects it. In the end, teachers are required to improve the test results of their students.

Disagree

1.    School is not a business. Cram school teachers are paid according to the test results of their students as a rule because they are in business, but school teachers in general are for more than test results.

2.    It is impossible to measure the result of school education. School teachers not only teach subjects but also teach about life and society. They help students grow up to be good and happy adults. Also, each student is unique and learning is personal.

3.    To raise test scores, teachers will focus more on memorization than though process and understanding of the whole picture. They also tend to increase the amount of homework, which can have adverse effects on the overall development of the students.

4.    Test scores do not always reflect the skills and efforts of teachers. There are many other factors that decide students’ performances such as learning capacity and timing of introduction of a certain subject.

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】I do not agree with the statement that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn because it does not fit the reality of education.

【Point 1】School is not a business.

【Point 2】You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.

【Point 3 / Follow-up】Merit-oriented payment system may sound good, but it is a deterrent to good learning.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】It is narrow-sighted to try to make students work better by making school achievement-oriented. Therefore, teachers’ salary should not be increased in proportion to test results.

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Follow-up】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Writing Topic 2 (an alternative writing topic for those who have already dealt with the above topic)

Emperor Akihito, having expressed his wish to abdicate several months before, said in his 2017 New Year’s message, “I pray that people will be able to spend a year in which they find themselves mentally enriched and at peace.” What do you think we should do to be mentally enriched and at peace?

☆Hints for Points

We will be able to spend a year in which we find ourselves mentally enriched and at peace by …

1.       being good and trying not to do harm to others as much as possible

2.      staying out of trouble, preparing for problems, and making the world a better place to live in.

3.      helping each other and being nice, modest, and inclusive.

4.      focusing on your duty and enjoying doing jobs.

5.       getting rid of desires and fears, especially the fears of the uncertainty of the future, old age, and death.

6.      being calm, considerate, and prudent, and having a good sense of humor.

7.       doing a good thing a day.

8.      appreciating life and nature and being grateful to people doing good to humankind.

9.      learning about societies and people, especially those with problems.

10.   promoting fairness and seeking for peaceful coexistence.

11.    helping improve lives of those who are vulnerable and suffering.

12.   seeing the positive side of the world, reminding yourself of the facts that prove it.

13.   cherishing the beautiful things and embracing the happiest moments and memories.

14.   picturing angels or whatever is delightful when there is nothing else to do and no hope left.

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】It is obvious that many kinds of things have to be done for a fulfilling and peaceful life as the emperor is praying it for us. the symbol of whom he is as our constitution provides for, but refining my mind is what I am working on and what I suspect many people want for the purpose.

【Point 1】It is often the case that what you think is real is what you want to believe is real while the reality is different from your idea more or less. Since the gap between the two affects the reality surrounding you, your image of the world decides your life in either good or bad ways, usually in bad ways.

【Point 2】Educating yourself while interacting directly with the world enlightens and liberates you and improves the circumstance you are in. For example, if you disturb yourself less as a result of learning, you will also disturb others less and this will lead to others disturbing you less. Refining your mind will make various aspects of your environment better piece by piece.

【Point 3 / Follow-up】It is impossible to be totally free from attacks on your peace of mind because life is as such, but it is possible for you to stop abusing your own mind and life.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】Although the world will not change in a day and living is suffering anyway, improving your own perception is comparatively easy and helps make your life easier.

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Follow-up】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】