2017年1月8日日曜日

TOEFL, iBT, Independent Writing, It is always bad to be impolite. - rewrite -

Writing Topic
Consider the following statement. It is always bad to be impolite. Do you agree with this idea? Support your response by including specific reasons and examples.


Let’s Think
The statement of this writing topic includes the word “always”. It is usually the case that things have exceptions, and thus it cannot be said that something always happens in most cases, but there are things without exceptions, and hence can be described with the word always.
     Impolite is a word with negative connotations. Impoliteness is an anathema. Mothers do everything to prevent their children from becoming a bull in a china shop.
     On the other hand, there seem to be some cases in which impoliteness is allowed. We often see not only the young but grown-ups intentionally making breach of manners in public without punishment or even gaining some sympathy. What those people are at is to have some impact on the awareness on some issues. Many people praised Colin Kaepernick, a professional American football player, for raising awareness of the injustice against non-white people in the US by refusing to stand up during the national anthem before the game, though many others thought he does not pay respect to his country.
Also, an action can be humiliating to some while it is not to others. If someone expects a certain person to behave in front of him or her like a sinner in front of a god when he or she is not and behaves just like other people, the person might regard him or her as defiant and thinks that he or she deserves all kinds of punishment. Many black people in the US have lost their lives just by talking back to a policeman, in a crisis which a white person would have pulled through by doing the same.

Hints for Points
Agree
1.    Impoliteness hurt others, and for whatever reason it was, hurting someone is always bad.

2.    As is often said, how you say something counts more than what you say. Even if what you say is right, no one listens to you if you are saying it in a mean way. People cannot stand rudeness. By your violation of manners, you can be looked down upon, lose trust, or just shock others, or even bring in those who simply enjoy bullying into your life.

3.    There should always be ways to avoid impoliteness. We have ways to make our voices heard without seeking resort to impoliteness such as laws and humor.

4.    Being uncivilized is bad and ignoring manners is uncivilized. People and cultures that prioritize courtesy are respected. The civilization which thrived in Kyoto for about thousand years left a culture of cordiality along with sophisticated works of art and literature. Those noble people were not free from the dark side of human activities, but, because of their lifestyle which put supremacy on gracefulness, the farthest from impoliteness, the life of Heian nobles and the culture they left in people in Kyoto have always been admired throughout history.

Disagree:
1.    Impoliteness is used as a protest against unfair or oppressive actions. The examples are as follows:

1)    Burning a flag of a country in protest is a common practice. It is impolite to destroy the symbol of a nation, but the actions are seldom criticized. Also, some peaceful protesters making loud speeches sound impolite to some people but these actions are protected as rights. Even raising one’s middle finger in the air in some circumstances is acceptable to many as a gesture of protest.

2)    An Iraqi journalist threw a shoe, which is the worst insult in his culture, at President Bush who had started Iraq War unilaterally. The story of his conduct has since been music to the ear of not only the most people in Iraq but also many across the world.

2.    It seems that under some conditions, we allow ourselves to break some codes of politeness. Any culture has a tradition of entertainment which often makes use of rude words or actions. Some jokes and pranks lack decency but make us laugh. They seem to attack negative elements in us like hypocrisy, greed, or insensitivity. Comedians and satirists are professionals in this tradition. We enjoy seeing them act rudely to famous people or reading political satires in which prominent people are made fun of. Through behaviors and wording like a fearless child, they remind us that important people also have the same problems as ours, or they speak for us what most of us have in mind but are reluctant to express, like bitterness on tax raise. Some artists use the same tactic for expression and choose offensive ways to provoke viewers and stimulate their artistic experience or thoughts. An apparel maker Bennetone often puts up controversial posters and some people find them offensive. For example, it once produced posters of photo-shopped pictures of opposing world leaders kissing each other.

3.    Unintended impoliteness might be permissible partly because feeling of humiliation is quite subjective. We unintentionally offend others for a variety of reasons such as cultural difference, discrimination, lack of information, or difference of notions. For example, pointing out some mistakes which cannot be ignored as minor ones at work is in itself neither polite nor impolite. It is a duty, for the company or organization might suffer in the future if the mistakes are not corrected. It seems that the action is not thought to be impolite, as long as the mistakes are reported in such a considerate manner as saying, “Excuse me, but while I was doing my task with this document, I noticed something, and I marked the parts of my concern. I would appreciate it if you would take a look at them. However, some people might still get offended by it for some reason. It is unfortunate that we do not have exactly the same standard of politeness. Someone’s highest respect can be another’s irritation. Strictly speaking, we never do the right thing in terms of courtesy. We had better forgive each other on this matter.

Sample Essay Structure
Introduction = OutlineI cannot agree with the statement that it is always bad to be impolite because there are cases in which impoliteness is pardoned.
Point 1Defiant attitudes are often admired.
Point 2Impoliteness is sometimes necessary to do the right thing.
Point 3 / Counterargument-treatmentHurting others’ feelings is bad but losing manners is not always it.
Conclusion = Wrap-upThere are things that are more important than good manners.

Your Sample Essay Structure
Introduction = Outline

Point 1

Point 2

Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment

Conclusion = Wrap-up


Sample Paragraph development
Main IdeaImpoliteness is sometimes necessary to do the right thing.
ExplanationA rigid stickler to manners may miss a crucial moment of life.
Detail / Example in generalFor example, there are times when your inner voice demands you to raise your voice even if it makes some people feel offended
More Specific Detail / ExampleIn 2003, in the wake of America’s decision to invade Iraq over the opposition of the UN, Michael Moore, the documentary film director, shouted, “Shame on you, Mr. Bush!” while he was making his acceptance speech at the Academy Awards ceremony and caused a rage. Many people blamed him of being rude to the President and some even tried to kill him. But in the end, it turned out that he was right. The war was based on a lie fabricated by the US government. Also, the experience made him make Capitalism, a Love Story, a work that a filmmaker living in this moment of human history ought to produce but needs some guts for it.
Follow-up / Counterargument-treatmentThere could be a different approach to make one’s voice heard, but sometimes it cannot be helped to put something before manners. In Michael Moore’s case, there seems to have been no other choice for a conscientious person who happened to have a chance to be heard by all citizens than taking a stand against what he knew totally wrong in a noticeable way.
ConclusionSome things are more important than politeness.

Your Sample Paragraph Development
Main Idea                                                                                                    

Explanation

Detail / Example in general

More Specific Detail / Example

Follow-up / Counterargument-treatment

Conclusion


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