TOEFL, iBT, Independent Writing, It is a good idea or a bad idea for high school students to have part-time jobs in addition to their studies. -rewrite-

☆Writing Topic

Do you think it is a good idea or a bad idea for high school students to have part-time jobs in addition to their studies? Explain your opinion on this question offering specific reasons and examples.

☆Let’s think

Reading the question carefully is the first step toward a satisfactory essay. This question has a condition in itself. It is the expression at the end of the sentence, “in addition to their studies”. This excludes the case of working at the expense of one’s study. The question takes for granted that students’ main job is studying, and asks if it is a good thing to work for money in their free time.

☆Hints for points

Advantages:  By working part-time, you can

1.    learn what it is like to work for money.

2.    see what it is like to work in society.

3.    learn to work as part of a team.

4.    meet many kinds of people.

5.    learn the importance of money and come to thank your parents.

6.    have an opportunity to think about your future .

Counter-argument & Counter-counter-argument:

1.    You can work after you have finished their study or during your college years. ⇔ Without any knowledge of the real world, it is difficult to have a clear picture of your future career, and the range of your future career choice is decided when you decide which department of a university you will apply for.

2.    Even though it is part-time, a job is a job. Being a student might not often be an excuse to do it half way for the sake of, say, midterm exam. ⇔ Time management can be another skill that working part-time might help us acquire.

Disadvantages: Having a part-time job will

1.    deprive you of time for other things that you can go through only when you are in high school such as extracurricular club activities, conventions for high school students, volunteering, and making friends with the students of your high school.

2.    make you fail to juggle work and study.

3.    lead you to fall behind the competition in this academic-background-oriented society.

Counter-argument & Counter-counter-argument:

1.    Working for money, especially doing some manual labor, is one of the important experiences that a high school student should have to decide what they want to do after graduation. ⇔ Experiencing part-time jobs is not necessary in deciding your future career. You can tell what it is like to do menial jobs through, say, doing daily chores. Moreover, whether you like to continue study or not depends on other factors such as aptitude and interest. If you cannot stand doing monotonous jobs for money, you cannot do the grinding work for grades and degrees.

2.    High school students are half adults. Staying away from the real world will make them out of touch. ⇔ Students do not necessarily have to work to see the real world, their family and community are their reality. By watching and participating in the activities of the society they belong to, they can learn which part of society they belong to and what they need to do for the future.

☆One-paragraph essay = the framework of the full essay

Now let’s write a one-paragraph essay before writing a full essay. You could use each sentence as the main idea (topic sentence) of each paragraph of your full essay.

Sample1

【Main Idea】 I think it is a good idea for high school students to work part-time as part of their experience to grow up mentally and to learn about society.

【Reason 1】 Working for money as part of a team with many kinds of people will make them emotionally mature and help them acquire better moral.

【Reason 2】 They can also see how society is ticking by actually participating in it.

【Counter-argument & Counter-counter-argument】It is true that students can interact with society by doing other activities outside of school such as volunteering, but the real experience of working as a wage-earner at the bottom of a hierarchy cannot be gained in any other activities and is useful to become a well-rounded, sympathetic adult.

【Conclusion】Part-time job is an experience that a high school student should have to be a good citizen.

Sample2

【Main Idea】If not necessary, high school students should not work for money.

【Reason 1】 It should be considered lucky to be able to spend all your time on studies and school activities.

【Reason 2】 Technology has been wiping out many kinds of manual labor and there is little benefits in experiencing part-time jobs.

【Counter-argument & Counter-counter-argument】Career-experience classes provide necessary feel about what it is like to be a worker.

【Conclusion】High school students should make the most of their high school life and get ready for the challenges of life they will face later.

Your one-paragraph essay:

【Main Idea】

【Reason 1】

【Reason 2】

【Counter-argument & Counter-counter-argument】

【Conclusion】