TOEFL, iBT, Independent Writing, One should never judge a person by external appearances. - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. One should never judge a person by external appearances.

☆Let’s think

What does “external appearances” mean? One’s external appearances mean mainly body and clothing. Features of a body include hair color, skin color, stature, body shape, face specs, posture, expressions, and so on. Clothing can be divided into two categories: clothing that shows your social status like uniforms or a very expensive dress and clothing that shows your personality, tastes, cultural background and other characteristics of yours.

We always look at the appearances of people trying to know who they are. However, our judgements can be wrong. Objectively, perceptions are deceiving. Also, impressions vary from person to person. Combined with the habit of deducing by stereotypes, it can bring about problems.

☆Hints for points

You can tell what a person is like to some degree by his or her appearances. People who are dressed nicely can be considered to have common sense. A specific type of fashion or make-up indicates the person’s preferences. A healthy person with right habits has pleasant expressions and good posture. Those with nasty looks on their faces are very likely to bother you.

On the other hand, opinions about others based on their looks can be wrong. In everyday life, you often experience that someone turns out to be totally different from the impression you had. A person who looks like an innocent child can be mean. A neat businessman in a well-tailored suit might commit a white-collar crime and a gloomy-looking person may actually be a kind person who is just tired. Misjudgements made by looks cause tragedies. More blacks are mistaken for criminals than whites. Some people are afraid of women wearing a head scarf because of the bad images attached to the religion of Islam, whose teaching is actually very peaceful. Voluptuous women are often supposed to be easy to approach and are harassed or even killed just by rejecting courtship.

☆Making the framework of the full essay

The basic English essay structure is as follows:

【Introduction = Outline】

【Reason 1】

【Reason 2】

【Reason 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Now let’s make the framework of your full essay. You do not have to write in full sentences. Writing down key words and expressions is fine. You can use them as the main ideas and examples for your full essay.

Sample framework notes 1

【Introduction = Outline】Forming an opinion about someone by the appearances should be avoided under any circumstances because it is potentially dangerous and ethically wrong.

【Point 1】Judging a person by the appearances is forming a prejudice.

【Point 2】Prejudices make one narrow minded and disturb communication.

【Point 3】Having prejudice harms others. Prejudice ignores personalities and denies dignities of others. It does not give them a chance to prove themselves.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】It might be difficult to stop judging others by their looks but to not try to do so is ignorant.

Sample framework notes 2

【Introduction = Outline】I cannot agree with the opinion that one should never judge a person by external appearances because the idea does not suit reality.

【Point 1】It is true that judgement made through observations of appearances can be wrong, but most of the time, a person’s looks indicates who the person is.

【Point 2】Life depends on its senses for survival and judging through the sense of sight is essential to us.

【Point 3】We live by unconsciously judging others based on their looks, so abiding by the idea of the statement is impossible.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】 Judging others only by their looks may lead to a mistake but the behavior itself is as natural as breathing for all lives with eyes.

Your framework notes

【Main Idea = Outline】

I would like to invent a machine that can　…

because …

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆To increase the volume of your essay, find the shortest paragraph and …

1) describe/develop the main idea well: If a paragraph has only one or two sentences, chances are that you have not described/developed well enough. Make sure that each paragraph has its main idea, supporting details (examples), conclusion, and additional supporting details like counter-argument treatment if necessary.

2) describe/develop each sentence well: A statement usually has some exception or needs some condition or concession. Look for a sentence that you can add a reason, condition, concession, or any other additional information, and add “except …”, “as long as …”, “although …”, as well as “because …”

3) describe words well: Which of the following sentences gives a clear picture of someone’s pet?    A) I have a pet.   B) I have a cute cat.   C) I have a little fluffy kitten. With two adjectives and a specific noun, Sentence C) depicts an adorable pet well and it happens to be the longest of the three. Also, use transitions such as First, Also, Moreover, Therefore when necessary.

4) discuss other choices: Even if the Writing Topic does not say, “Discuss the two views” or “Compare and contrast the choices,” you can write about other choices. Doing so will make your essay more convincing and longer. Make sure that you do not digress.

5) take up counter-arguments if necessary: While you are writing, sometimes a counter-argument, “Well, but what about this case?” comes up to your mind. Then it is better not to ignore it but take it up and give a counter-counter-argument or two. By doing so, you can confirm your argument. If you can do it well, you will get a high score.

The key to remember is to try to put what you want to say into words as accurately as you can. Then you cannot help adding some more words and sentences, and some more... In the end, your essay will have many words.