TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, A product I would like to invent -partly rewritten-

Writing Topic

Suppose you were an inventor and you had the knowledge and ability to develop a new product. What product would you like to invent?

 

 

☆Let’s think

This topic starts with “Suppose you were …” This means that you can use your imagination and write about things that would not really be possible. If it seems that you can never come up with anything, trying to think of an idea related to the matter you know well is one idea. As you are always thinking about the matter, you have many things to write about it. If you are a political person, you might think of a product that can solve one of the biggest problems in the government of your country. If you are always concerned about your relationships, you could write about a machine that can improve them.

 

 

☆Ideas and Expressions

1       a medicine that would stop American politicians from accepting donations from large corporations and doing favor to them while punishing the poor

2       a totally clean and safe reusable energy source

3       an edible plant that grows anywhere to escape food crises

4       an application program which would tell you how the person you are text-messaging with is feeling and what you should or should not say or do in the situation

5       a spaceship to another earth

6       Doraemon’s Wherever Door: tour, disaster evacuation

7       a translation machine for better mutual understanding

8       a flying car: traffic jam, parking, disaster

9       time machine: learn from the past, find out the real history

 

 

☆Let’s prepare

Here is a little activity to help you think of what you are going to write about your invention.

Picture yourself making a presentation on your plan for a new product. The procedure is as follows:

 

1)    Here is the present situation. 

2)    I would like to change this situation this way by inventing a product like this.

3)    Expected problems of this product and ways to deal with them are as follows.

 

 

To prepare for structuring your essay, answer some of the following questions.

1.    What is the present situation?

 

 

2.    How would you like to change the situation with your product?

 

 

3.    What are the expected problems and how would you deal with them?

 

 

 

 

☆Making the framework of the full essay

 

The basic English essay structure is as follows:

【Introduction = Outline】

【Reason 1】

【Reason 2】

【Reason 3 / Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Note: A counterargument is an expected rebuttal. Taking up a counterargument when necessary is important to get a higher score. You do not really have to deal with the counterargument in the third paragraph of the body as in the structure sample above. You can deal with a counterargument in an appropriate part of a paragraph. Also, you can use a whole paragraph to deal with it.

 

 

Now let’s make the framework of your full essay, using the answers above. You do not have to write in full sentences. Writing down key words and expressions is fine. You can use them as the main ideas and examples for your full essay.

 

Sample framework notes

【Introduction = Outline】 a machine that can resolve CO2 into carbon and oxygen, making carbohydrate

to tackle the problems of global warming and food security.

【Point 1】Reducing CO2 is the top priority in the climate change issue.

【Point 2】Making carbohydrate could contribute to stabilization of food security.

【Point 3】Making diamonds from CO2 would do more harm than good.

Reusable energy sources will not be in place soon.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】a machine that can make food using CO2 in the air

 

 

Your framework notes

【Main Idea = Outline】

I would like to invent a machine that can　…

because …

 

【Point 1】

 

 

【Point 2】

 

 

【Point 3】

 

 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

 

 

☆Essay for ideas and expressions

If making such a thing were possible, I would make a product which can resolve carbon dioxide into oxygen and carbon, producing carbohydrate as a by-product of the process at a relatively low cost so that people can tackle the problems related to global warming in two ways: CO2 reduction and food security stabilization.

 

Reducing the amount of greenhouse gasses, especially CO2, is the top priority in the climate change issue. If there were a machine which can resolve CO2 into two harmless substances like oxygen and carbon, it could safely and directly reduce the amount of CO2 that already exists in the atmosphere and drastically reduce CO2 emissions. We could install the device on top of buildings and mountains, in the smokestacks of factories, and the exhaust pipes of vehicles.

 

Since carbohydrate is the source of energy, if there is a CO2 reduction process which produces it as a by-product, it would contribute to stabilizing food security. Global warming, combined with population increase and increasing demand for meat as a result of globalization, is worsening the problem of food shortage. For example, the rising temperature has been rapidly changing the flora and fauna in many regions and affecting agriculture. Many farmers have started having difficulty growing the same crops in the same ways as in the past, but studies on new types of crops more suitable to new weather patterns are devastatingly behind the speed of climate change. Also, the number of inundated fields due to rising sea level or flood is increasing, and still many other places have problems of water shortage due to desertification, extremely rapid thawing of glacier, or drought, all of which are at least partly the results of rising temperature. It is clear that many more parts of the world will have difficulty providing people with enough food. Carbohydrate made from the air, which might need less water to make and which, unlike carbohydrate originating from plants, could be provided on a regular bases, might be a great help when this problem ensues.

 

Although putting reusable energy sources in place is the best thing to do, implementing them seems to be hopelessly behind the rate of the rise in average global temperature. I could also have considered designing the device to make diamonds, crystalized carbon, instead of carbohydrate. However, diamonds cannot help counter the imminent threat we face now. Moreover, they could cause conflicts, for human greed has no limit.

 

It would be nice if we could make food using CO2 in the air. Therefore, I would like to invent a machine that can break CO2 into carbon and oxygen if I had the knowledge and ability.