TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, A product I would like to invent -partly rewritten-

Writing Topic

Suppose you were an inventor and you had the knowledge and ability to develop a new product. What product would you like to invent?

 

 

☆Let’s think

This topic starts with “Suppose you were …” This means that you can use your imagination and write about things that would not really be possible. If it seems that you can never come up with anything, trying to think of an idea related to the matter you know well is one idea. As you are always thinking about the matter, you have many things to write about it. If you are a political person, you might think of a product that can solve one of the biggest problems in the government of your country. If you are always concerned about your relationships, you could write about a machine that can improve them.

 

 

☆Ideas and Expressions

1       a medicine that would stop American politicians from accepting donations from large corporations and doing favor to them while punishing the poor

2       a totally clean and safe reusable energy source

3       an edible plant that grows anywhere to escape food crises

4       an application program which would tell you how the person you are text-messaging with is feeling and what you should or should not say or do in the situation

5       a spaceship to another earth

6       Doraemon’s Wherever Door: tour, disaster evacuation

7       a translation machine for better mutual understanding

8       a flying car: traffic jam, parking, disaster

9       time machine: learn from the past, find out the real history

 

 

☆Let’s prepare

Here is a little activity to help you think of what you are going to write about your invention.

Picture yourself making a presentation on your plan for a new product. The procedure is as follows:

 

1)    Here is the present situation. 

2)    I would like to change this situation this way by inventing a product like this.

3)    Expected problems of this product and ways to deal with them are as follows.

 

 

To prepare for structuring your essay, answer some of the following questions.

1.    What is the present situation?

 

 

2.    How would you like to change the situation with your product?

 

 

3.    What are the expected problems and how would you deal with them?

 

 

 

 

☆Making the framework of the full essay

 

The basic English essay structure is as follows:

【Introduction = Outline】

【Reason 1】

【Reason 2】

【Reason 3 / Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Note: A counterargument is an expected rebuttal. Taking up a counterargument when necessary is important to get a higher score. You do not really have to deal with the counterargument in the third paragraph of the body as in the structure sample above. You can deal with a counterargument in an appropriate part of a paragraph. Also, you can use a whole paragraph to deal with it.

 

 

Now let’s make the framework of your full essay, using the answers above. You do not have to write in full sentences. Writing down key words and expressions is fine. You can use them as the main ideas and examples for your full essay.

 

Sample framework notes

【Introduction = Outline】 a machine that can resolve CO2 into carbon and oxygen, making carbohydrate

to tackle the problems of global warming and food security.

【Point 1】Reducing CO2 is the top priority in the climate change issue.

【Point 2】Making carbohydrate could contribute to stabilization of food security.

【Point 3】Making diamonds from CO2 would do more harm than good.

Reusable energy sources will not be in place soon.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】a machine that can make food using CO2 in the air

 

 

Your framework notes

【Main Idea = Outline】

I would like to invent a machine that can　…

because …

 

【Point 1】

 

 

【Point 2】

 

 

【Point 3】

 

 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

 

 

☆Essay for ideas and expressions

If making such a thing were possible, I would make a product which can resolve carbon dioxide into oxygen and carbon, producing carbohydrate as a by-product of the process at a relatively low cost so that people can tackle the problems related to global warming in two ways: CO2 reduction and food security stabilization.

 

Reducing the amount of greenhouse gasses, especially CO2, is the top priority in the climate change issue. If there were a machine which can resolve CO2 into two harmless substances like oxygen and carbon, it could safely and directly reduce the amount of CO2 that already exists in the atmosphere and drastically reduce CO2 emissions. We could install the device on top of buildings and mountains, in the smokestacks of factories, and the exhaust pipes of vehicles.

 

Since carbohydrate is the source of energy, if there is a CO2 reduction process which produces it as a by-product, it would contribute to stabilizing food security. Global warming, combined with population increase and increasing demand for meat as a result of globalization, is worsening the problem of food shortage. For example, the rising temperature has been rapidly changing the flora and fauna in many regions and affecting agriculture. Many farmers have started having difficulty growing the same crops in the same ways as in the past, but studies on new types of crops more suitable to new weather patterns are devastatingly behind the speed of climate change. Also, the number of inundated fields due to rising sea level or flood is increasing, and still many other places have problems of water shortage due to desertification, extremely rapid thawing of glacier, or drought, all of which are at least partly the results of rising temperature. It is clear that many more parts of the world will have difficulty providing people with enough food. Carbohydrate made from the air, which might need less water to make and which, unlike carbohydrate originating from plants, could be provided on a regular bases, might be a great help when this problem ensues.

 

Although putting reusable energy sources in place is the best thing to do, implementing them seems to be hopelessly behind the rate of the rise in average global temperature. I could also have considered designing the device to make diamonds, crystalized carbon, instead of carbohydrate. However, diamonds cannot help counter the imminent threat we face now. Moreover, they could cause conflicts, for human greed has no limit.

 

It would be nice if we could make food using CO2 in the air. Therefore, I would like to invent a machine that can break CO2 into carbon and oxygen if I had the knowledge and ability.

 

 

TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, Does technolgy always improve human society?

Writing Topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Technology always contributes to improving human society.

 

 

☆Let’s Think

The word “always” is a key to answer this question. There aren’t many things that always happen. You may say to your friend, “You are always complaining about your sister,” but you don’t literally mean it. You know she does many other things. Most things have exceptions. If some exceptions can be cited about the statement in a writing topic, the conclusion will be negative.

 

When it comes to dealing with the word technology, the following quote says it all:

“Technology is basically neutral. It’s kind of like a hammer. The hammer doesn’t care whether you use it to build a house, or whether a torturer uses it to crush somebody’s skull.”

- Noam Chomsky -

 

Indeed, a hammer can be regarded as one of the first technologies man created, long ago, in the Stone Age. Technology means some application of scientific knowledge, and knowing how to fix two different materials, a piece of stone and a stick of wood, to make a tool and using it with leverage is a technology; we have the word stone age technology. We don’t really know in how many ways cave men used a hammer, but we know that man uses it to do both good and bad things.

 

You could replace the word hammer in this quote with, say, a jet engine, atomic energy, information technology (IT), and so on:

⋆ A jet engine doesn’t care whether you use it to fly an airplane to carry people and goods over the oceans, or whether someone uses it to have a plane smash into a huge commercial building.

⋆ Atomic energy doesn’t care whether a government uses it for power plants to light up its cities, or whether a state uses it to destroy a whole city and eliminate almost all of its population.

⋆Information technology doesn’t care whether people use it to share information to improve each other’s situations, or whether some SNS users end up with driving an actor out of his mind and to commit suicide.

 

Technology can be used in both positive and negative ways depending on us humans. Humans have both positive and negative sides. We can be ill-intentioned, weak, or careless. Also, we are ignorant. What science knows is only a fraction of nature and technology is part of our society, which we don’t remember the last time we controlled well, so technology often causes results that no one could foresee. Antibiotics were discovered and developed to save lives, but in decades they became the causes of viruses called super bugs, viruses which have evolved and acquired resistance to antibiotics. The development of transportation, by which humans and things spread around the world and which contributed to development of some societies, impoverished many societies, contributed to global warming, and spread viruses and funguses (fungi), causing numerous deaths and threatening the future of the earth. Human society does not always develop, and technology is often related to both of its positive and negative changes.

 

 

☆Making the Framework of the Full Essay

The basic English essay structure is as follows:

【Main Idea = Outline】

【Reason 1】

【Reason 2】

【Reason 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

Now let’s make the framework of your full essay. You do not have to write in full sentences. Write down key words and expressions. You can use them as the main idea and examples for each paragraph of your full essay.

 

Sample framework notes:

【Main Idea = Outline】 Disagree: a double edged sward; he who uses it can be both productive and unproductive

【Point 1】can be a weapon  e.g. atomic energy

【Point 2】can bring about disasters  e.g. oil well drilling technology

【Point 3】can degrade some part of the population  e.g. SNS

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】often negative effects on the development of human society

 

 

Your framework notes:

【Main Idea = Outline】

 

【Point 1】

 

 

【Point 2】

 

 

【Point 3】

 

 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

この講座の内容と良い英文エッセイを書くためのアドバイス -partly rewritten-

この講座の内容

この講座ではTOEFL iBTで2つあるライティングセクションのひとつIndependent Writing対策を行います。（Independent Writingとは与えられたWriting Topicに関し最低300語のエッセイを書くという課題です。）

 

☆授業内容

♦実際にエッセイを書き、添削された答案を書き直して再提出することで制限時間内に合格レベルの答案を書く力をつけていただきます。

♦頻出パターンのWriting Topicを見てゆくと同時に、書く内容の考え方・広げ方を学習していただきます。

♦英文エッセイの基本構造を守り、きちんとした英文を書けるようにしていただくと同時に語彙を増やし表現力をつけていただきます。

 

☆授業の構成

授業はテキストの構成に従います。テキストは以下の3つのStepに分かれています。

Step 1：　文法・表現の注意点を学び、注意事項を使ったPattern Practiceを行います。

Step 2：　実際に出題されるWriting Topicを使ってエッセイを書きます。

Step 3：　Sample Essay(s)を使って注意点や手本になる点を学びます。また時間に余裕のある場合は要約の練習も行います。（Step 2とStep 3の順はWriting Topicによっては逆にする場合もあります。）

 

☆Writing Topicについて：　Writing Topicは身近な事項に対する意見や好みに関するもので専門的知識は必要ありませんが常識はある程度必要です。

 

☆各レッスンのWriting Topicパターン

Lesson 1　 ある意見に対する賛成・反対を問うもの

Lesson 2   “always”の付いた意見に対する賛成・反対を問うもの

Lesson 3　 漠然とした課題：ある状況を仮定して自分ならどうするかを問うもの　

Lesson 4　 ある意見に対する賛成・反対を問うもの　

Lesson 5　 与えられた選択肢からひとつを選んで理由を説明させるもの

Lesson 6　 最上級が使われている意見に対する賛成・反対を問うもの

Lesson 7　 2つの対立する意見について論じさせ、どちらに賛成か問うもの

Lesson 8　 “never”の付いた意見に対する賛成・反対を問うもの

Lesson 9　 2つの対立する意見について論じさせ、どちらに賛成か問うもの

Lesson 10  比較級が使われている意見に対する賛成・反対を問うもの

 

☆TOEFL Essay Test Writingクラスでは実際にエッセイを書いて練習していますが、このプリントでは良い英文エッセイを書くために日頃やってみると良いことをいくつか挙げてみます。

                   

☆良い英文をたくさん習慣的に読み、英語のニュースやインタビュー番組を利用する:  文章の達人と言われる人たちが良い文章を書くコツを尋ねられて必ず言及するのが「良い文章をたくさん読む。」ということです。英会話でネイティブスピーカーの話をたくさん聞くと英語が口から出やすくなるのと同様、知的刺激のあるきちんとした文章を夢中になって読む習慣や英語のニュースやインタビュー番組およびそのPodcastなどを毎日聞く習慣があると、作文の際にふさわしい表現や内容の展開を思いつきやすくなります。覚えてやろうと思うのではなく感心し感動しながら読むことが大切です。

 

☆英文読後日記をつける:  英字新聞・雑誌の記事を読んだ後、要約・感想を各1~2文の英文にします。表現力がつくと共に書く材料集めにもなります。まず口で言って見て次に書いて確認をしましょう。Speakingの訓練にもなります。

 

☆話し言葉と書き言葉は違うということを意識する:  話し言葉と書き言葉は別物です。日本語でも話し言葉と書き言葉を区別するように英語でもwritten Englishというものがあります。きちんとした言葉使い（特に構文の正確さ）は重要です。また内容の展開の仕方も書き言葉は日常の言葉使いとは異なります。話し言葉は言葉以外の要素（ジェスチャー、表情、共通認識、人間関係など）を含めてコミュニケーションをとるので言葉足らずでも問題ない場合が多くあります。しかし文章を書く際は言葉だけを使って分かりやすく、誤解のないように説明しなければなりません。細かく説明すればするほど分かりやすく、誤解が少なくなります。これはエッセイを書くときに気をつけると同時に普段手紙や伝言、ブログを書く時などに意識すると効果があります。

 

☆きちんとした英語を書く訓練をする:  エッセイの評価項目の一番下（文法、つづり、句読点他）がweakまたはsatisfactoryの下のほうの人はきちんとした英文を書く訓練が必要です。

♦評価がweakの人は文構造が崩れてしまうことが多いので、構文のしっかりした文を書けるようにしましょう。５文型や接続詞、関係詞を「文構造」という観点から勉強しなおしてみてください。また、これらの基本例文の和訳をみてもとの英文を言ってかけるようにする訓練をしておくと一生の財産になります。

♦評価がsatisfactoryの下のほうの人は、構文はほぼできているのですが採点者のいう「明らかな文法ミス」が多数あります。これを無くすには文法の正誤問題（間違い探し問題）で典型的なミスをチェックする必要があります。また、不要なところに３単元のｓをつけるなど癖になっているミスは、授業以外でもできるだけ友達などにチェックしてもらいましょう。ミスは他人の目で見ると見つけやすいのです。

 

☆推敲を重ねる: 推敲を重ねるほど次に一度でよい文章を書くことができるようになります。返却された添削済み答案は、訂正されたところやアドバイスなどを参考にしながら書き直して提出してください。学校の試験や行事などで時間がないときは数週間遅れてまとめて提出しても大丈夫です。

 

☆手本の書写と要約:  文法・表現力の評価が３になることが多い人はテキストやBarron’sのWriting for the TOEFL iBT等のsample essayをタイプで書写してみられるのも良いと思います。意味単位ごとに写すと表現が身につきやすくなります。ただ写すのではなく内容を取りながら行ってください。最後に内容を要約します。最初は各段落のMain Ideaを抜き出し、次に自分の言葉で言い換えます。

 

 

--- チェックしておくと参考になる本・雑誌・新聞・番組・ホームページなど ---

全くの私の独断でinformationやinspirationを得る役に立つと思われるものをご紹介します。

（一番下の２つ以外はインターネットにサイトがあり全て無料で閲覧・ダウンロードできます。）

 

♦Democracy Now!: インディペンデント放送局。主流メディアでは聞けない重要課題を毎日取り上げます。

♦The Young Turks: YouTube上のニュース局。 頭脳明晰で人間的で面白い元弁護士Cenk氏がホストです。

♦National Public Radio : アメリカのラジオ局。All Things Consideredでは興味深い話が多数聞けます。

♦Voice of America: アメリカのラジオ局。HPでニュースを閲覧したりPodcastをダウンロードしたりできます。ニュースが簡潔にまとめられています。

♦Al Jazeeraの英語放送: 中東関連はこの局でチェックしましょう。CM無し。world newsもあります。

♦BBC のpodcast: ”World Have Your Say”という視聴者参加討論番組がargumentの参考になります。聞き方のコツは共感する意見が出た時にその表現に注意して聞くことです。

♦NatureとScience のpodcast: 科学雑誌NatureとScienceのpodcast では一般の人にも分かる形で科学関連ニュースを発表しています。温暖化、食料・水危機、公害、幹細胞研究、宇宙探査、米政府の科学研究援助方針など地球・人類にとって重要な問題を多数取り上げています。Transcriptもあります。

♦Daily Yomiuri: 日本国内のニュースを英文で読んで表現の仕方を学びましょう。

♦In These Times: かなり左寄り（革新思想より）ですが過激な内容ではありません。不正・不平等・人権問題等に関して一般の人々の視点からの取材を丁寧に行っています。

♦MICHAELMOORE.com: アカデミー賞、スタインベック賞などを受賞した映画監督のホームページです。政治・社会問題をユーモアを交えて取り上げています。言葉使いよりも内容を参考にしましょう。

♦High School Newspaper: 政治意識の強い高校生のための高校生によるWeb新聞です。

♦The New Yorker on the Web: 週代わりで現代作家の短編小説が掲載されます。

♦The Best American Essays: 前年に出版されたエッセイのベスト版です。編者が毎年変わります。

♦Writing for the TOEFL iBT, Barron’s: 実際のTOEFL Writing の課題を使ったsample essaysが100以上掲載されている参考書兼問題集。構成・内容・語彙の参考になります。